Twitter C/D

they are humans but also in many ways they are bots which is ironic

they have ben programmed by the russians to be mad at the russians

theyve hacked......themselves

I get the retweet as example, when someone with a lot of followers retweets weird abuse or comments going “what the heck”

but at the same fine, the abusive tweeter is like some guy who has five followers, fifty tweets total, and most of them are retweets of barstool sports or perpetual harassment of some chick with an onlyfans link

I have a tiny number of followers that see my insanely rare tweets but they’re all irl friends, ilx people, local people I interact with on twitter, and some that I’ve branched our with on those lines

if I was a brooklyn media person I’d inevitably get retweeted a couple times by a peer who had a following and pick up people, then feel the need to feed the machine and go insane

the most insane and thrillingly dystopian part of it these days is that people are always accusing others of being russian bots or trolls spreading disinformation

― treeship., Wednesday, 29 January 2020 03:55 (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

*leans in*

Xanadu du du
Stately pleasure dome decree
Xanadu du du
Sacred river sunless sea
Fertile ground, girdled round
Blossomed incense-bearing tree
Come and dance every night, to the dulcimer lady

— vote me into Aosdána u cowards (@johnorthside) January 27, 2020

Now find one to the tune of Baby Shark...

many xps to daniel: yes, troussé is an ilxor and an ilxor who still posts -- i too am unsure of the etiquette of doxxing at this point

On the plus side I can now save these for posterity pic.twitter.com/tEN1krfjMt

— bruise almighty (@kmlefranc) February 1, 2020

lol i'm never going to get hired by anyone again

calling my employees in for a meeting because the tweets they're liking aren't funny enough and use tired meme formats

Aphex Twin, “Windowlicker” (Cunningham, 1999) pic.twitter.com/qUgEoaVISZ

— maura 💥 johnston (@maura) February 3, 2020

btw great tweet maura

ty brad hope the AI can overlook my swear-likes and see my humor

Sorry, humor is a Flag Type Bad

lol that program is some amazingly amateur shit, like im sure theres more sophisticated open source —sentiment analysis— tools they cldve just plugged in, what a world

the "helping others" one is amazing, what a grift

mentioning alcohol is bad jfc

https://i.imgur.com/xZf7cvk.jpg

very nice

they've totally fucked up threading, haven't they?

noticed that

they're standing up brooms on my local news cast

‪As bad as music writing is, it’s a post-war Parisian cafe compared to listening to Twitter talk about movies‬

what did they do to this site exactly. this is a good example

pic.twitter.com/hSh18mTRiv

— Harold (@911VICTIM) February 19, 2020

it's terrible on web too, images display terribly. how do they keep fucking this site up over and over with every update

u kinda gotta respect it

HeLl SiTe

Is the web version just broken half the time for anyone else or is it just me? Even going to 'twitter.com' in my browser leads to 'Something went wrong - try again'

This is a dumb-ass answer, but are you logged in?

Seriously, Twitter.com is the only required-registration website I go to that doesn't return me to a log-in page when I just click over to it haphazardly. If I click on a Twitter link from here or whatever, and I'm not already logged in, I always get that "Something went wrong" prompt. I then manually have to go to Twitter.com to sign in.

its pretty funny that they cant make a website that works good

theres all sorts of other minor bugs and annoyances w it too

Yeah I'm logged in

So amateurish that it redirects to 'twitter.com/home' as well, like, what is this, fuckin go.com ??

twitter.com/index.html

web version has been really shitty yes

autorefresh is back too it's funny, goodbye tweets that i was reading

common practices i find deeply embarrassing:

addressing new followers, eg "hey new followers! you liked my tweet about x? well i tweet about y too, hope you like y!"

commenting on unfollowers, eg "it's really telling who unfollowed me after i tweeted about y, you prudes must not be able to handle me lol"

obligatory "i don't have a soundcloud but here's this thing you can check out" post-viral tweet

I find these things embarrassing too, but suspect it is because I only have a couple of hundred followers and doubt that even they actually see my tweets. It's mainly a "wisecracking into the howling void" website for me, or else everyone is mortified at my behaviour and opinions but is too polite to say anything, same result.

I have recently fallen out with a low-level twitter celeb who actually followed me, just because he was constantly posting dull questions and I was posting facetious responses, probably for the best all round.

I wrote a couple of things on twitter that I wound up feeling moderately embarrassed by, mostly responding to other people's messages. Mostly because I am too earnest. I am incapable of hiding behind the joke cloak so I respond to people as if they were right in front of me. It's probably "embarrassing" to other people too but idk why anyone would be embarrassed on my behalf. Seems like a lite bitchy "bless your heart" move or at worst euphemism for "i am judging u" If/when I see these people again I don't expect them to remember the dumb earnest thing I said. Who cares?!

<3

oh let me be clear all of my tweets are dumb and earnest and embarrassing too

common practices i find deeply embarrassing:

addressing new followers, eg "hey new followers! you liked my tweet about x? well i tweet about y too, hope you like y!"

commenting on unfollowers, eg "it's really telling who unfollowed me after i tweeted about y, you prudes must not be able to handle me lol"

obligatory "i don't have a soundcloud but here's this thing you can check out" post-viral tweet

― marcos, Friday, February 28, 2020 9:44 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

think of these as opportunities for unfollowing

yeah but after you unfollow you should probably leave a public note on twitter explaining why

listen i never thought i would have to do this but i did unfollow @largemaoistgrandpa for beginning a tweet with "periodic reminder" i dont want to demonize him and i do believe in restorative justice but the simple fact is his tweets are bad and i dont want to read them anymore, if anyone wants to reach out to me my DMs are open

dyin

The whole "periodic reminder" thing seems like a product of the abrupt nature of the Twitter format. People feel awkward simply making a statement/assertion without any prior framing, so they use that as a pretend lead-in.

never shdve gone to 280

They did all this dumb stuff and they still don’t have a buyer lol

“Twitter isn’t real life” but it’s all rich centrist dipshits complain about so I guess it’s something https://t.co/xK8Dv9Pe9k

— Adam H. Johnson (@adamjohnsonNYC) February 28, 2020

we did it

Republican mega-donor buys stake in Twitter and seeks to oust Jack Dorsey – report