have there been, like, scholarly studies of 21st century american yuppies and their dogs? b/c jesus christ, there are more dogs than people here
― circles, Tuesday, 11 February 2020 04:13 (four years ago) link
Girl I’ve been seeing broke things off this morning and I actually think I’m going to take a solid break from swiping—this shit has gotten too stressful and too distracting
― unashamed and trash (Unctious), Tuesday, 11 February 2020 04:17 (four years ago) link
after a six year(ish) break I am amused to see that the meat-market dynamics are still exactly the same but the app has been considerably "gamified" and paywalled in addition to continuing to have the worst UI of any popular app
― intern at pelican brief consulting (Simon H.), Thursday, 27 May 2021 16:05 (two years ago) link
I hate that I ever used this. I hate this era.
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 18:15 (two years ago) link
Glad to be married and old. My hair is even graying now which is good. The zeitgeist is exhausting.
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 18:16 (two years ago) link
what do you mean? married people do great on tinder lol
― intern at pelican brief consulting (Simon H.), Thursday, 27 May 2021 18:27 (two years ago) link
being married sounds amazing. modern "dating" was so stressful to me that i only really briefly experimented with it, and now i've dropped out for a while unless something emerges on its own― Treeship, Saturday, December 13, 2014 9:28 PM (six years ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Treeship, Saturday, December 13, 2014 9:28 PM (six years ago) bookmarkflaglink
Is it everything you imagined treeship?
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 27 May 2021 18:38 (two years ago) link
I think this Polish pilot I'm talking to might be a bot. 50/50. Her backstory is very specific but she communicates in a botlike way.― Treeship, Wednesday, May 25, 2016 9:46 PM (five years ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Treeship, Wednesday, May 25, 2016 9:46 PM (five years ago) bookmarkflaglink
I'm assuming you married the Polish pilot bot btw
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 27 May 2021 18:39 (two years ago) link
met my current partner on this terrible app so it has that going for it
― mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Thursday, 27 May 2021 18:45 (two years ago) link
what does it mean when ppl say they were banned from the other apps? I've seen this a few times. the ppl in question don't appear to be fash or linking their onlyfans
― intern at pelican brief consulting (Simon H.), Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:10 (two years ago) link
I'm just swiping and reading profiles for the foreseeable tbh, more than anything I find it interesting to see how people use apps like this
― intern at pelican brief consulting (Simon H.), Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:13 (two years ago) link
Lmao. I don’t think I ever met that Polish pilot irl. My current wife is someone who was just a friend in those cold dark days of swiping around.
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:14 (two years ago) link
I was banned from tinder once for being too handsome, sweet and open. Hope this helps.
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:15 (two years ago) link
― intern at pelican brief consulting (Simon H.), Thursday, May 27, 2021 11:27 AM (forty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
when my wife was trying to do femme for femme dating on tinder married people were a scourged because she'd swipe to some babe and often the other pictures would include the husband and the description would note they were looking for a third
― 《Myst1kOblivi0n》 (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:16 (two years ago) link
the unicorn hunt is real
― intern at pelican brief consulting (Simon H.), Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:17 (two years ago) link
Polyamarous types are often looking to bring on a younger third, hoping that this youth will invigorate their relationship. They are like vampires in this way.
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:20 (two years ago) link
No judgment, i meant vampiric descriptively
Lmao. I don’t think I ever met that Polish pilot irl. My current wife is someone who was just a friend in those cold dark days of swiping around.― treeship., Thursday, May 27, 2021 2:14 PM (seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
― treeship., Thursday, May 27, 2021 2:14 PM (seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
Just out of curiosity do you introduce her to people as "my current wife"
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:23 (two years ago) link
No
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:24 (two years ago) link
Only wife, now and forever. I was following brad’s lead when they discussed their current partner.
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:25 (two years ago) link
i call mine wife number 2
― 《Myst1kOblivi0n》 (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:26 (two years ago) link
I can only hear that in Kurt Wagner's voice
― intern at pelican brief consulting (Simon H.), Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:26 (two years ago) link
David used to call me his “current wife” whenever he would introduce me and it would make me laugh so damn hard. https://t.co/0OAK50UJio— Amber Tamblyn (@ambertamblyn) May 22, 2021
― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:27 (two years ago) link
If it makes you feel better, this claim -- the kids just hook up, they don't go out on dates! -- was made about college kids when I was in college, too, in the early 1990s, and it was even kind of true, just as it's probably kind of true now, but it didn't keep us from mostly getting married and having marriages that work. So far I've seen no reason to expect rampant Tindering to have any great effect on the typical life course.― Guayaquil (eephus!), Saturday, December 13, 2014 9:29 PM (six years ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Saturday, December 13, 2014 9:29 PM (six years ago) bookmarkflaglink
Anyway, I stand by this, people a lot younger than me still seem to be figuring out how to get married
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:28 (two years ago) link
Fewer though
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:30 (two years ago) link
Much like david cross i’m a lucky guy
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:31 (two years ago) link
Lots and lots of young people are getting married, they're just also openly fucking other people more than they used to (anecdotally anyway)
― intern at pelican brief consulting (Simon H.), Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:37 (two years ago) link
That sounds really bad tbh.
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:37 (two years ago) link
I don't mean they fuck using anecdotes, but that's also a thing probably
― intern at pelican brief consulting (Simon H.), Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:38 (two years ago) link
I agree, this "getting married" thing has gotten really out of hand
And makes me sad. Hope it isn’t true.
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:39 (two years ago) link
@ treeship when I say "openly" I mean as agreed to by both married parties, it's neither good nor bad. some people are great at it and other people are really bad, just like...well, marriage
― intern at pelican brief consulting (Simon H.), Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:41 (two years ago) link
(obviously in addition to that many ppl use the apps to cheat on their spouses without their knowledge, yes)
Oh. I thought u were talking about cheetahs in particular 🐆. I wasn’t thinking about swingers.
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:43 (two years ago) link
I like to take public stands against behavior everyone agrees in wrong. I like to join in the choir.
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:47 (two years ago) link
poly people would probably distinguish themselves from swingers, but it's a thin line
― Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Thursday, 27 May 2021 19:49 (two years ago) link
re: that line, I was flattered by a few poly women swiping right and initiating conversations but they all wanted to date date. I would have no problems hooking up with a married poly person but I had no interest in putting in the work of dating for little future reward.
― Joe Bombin (milo z), Thursday, 27 May 2021 20:06 (two years ago) link
what is this future reward you mention? I didn't realize prizes were involved
― Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Thursday, 27 May 2021 20:12 (two years ago) link
A relationship i assume. Why invest energy into becoming a “third wheel”?
― treeship., Thursday, 27 May 2021 20:15 (two years ago) link
it's implied though that a relationship is what they are looking for and not a third wheel
― Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Thursday, 27 May 2021 20:16 (two years ago) link
at least that's how I read "date date"
― Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Thursday, 27 May 2021 20:17 (two years ago) link
None of them seemed to be looking for a third equal partner - but you can date and have an extended relationship (of sorts) while still being a third wheel. (Which, yes, not my thing.)
― Joe Bombin (milo z), Thursday, 27 May 2021 20:24 (two years ago) link
Yeah, I suppose if they are saying "I want to seriously date you but you'll always be my lowest priority," that may be difficult to make work
― Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Thursday, 27 May 2021 20:26 (two years ago) link
im perfectly happy being old and boring when i hear younger people i know who have more than one "primary" partner, or find out that someone who i think is going out with someone has a parallel, longer and more important relationship with someone else.
― 《Myst1kOblivi0n》 (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 27 May 2021 20:31 (two years ago) link
i don't have that much intimacy to give out to the world.
Admittedly my social circle skews a little younger than me (mid-20s to early 30s) but I really don't know a lot of people younger than me who keep things strictly monogamous, whether they're partnered up or not
― intern at pelican brief consulting (Simon H.), Thursday, 27 May 2021 20:35 (two years ago) link
pretty much impossible in this economy
― Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Thursday, 27 May 2021 20:36 (two years ago) link
Yeah I would say I know plenty of people that age well enough to know whether they're married, but none well enough to know whether they're monogamous.
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 27 May 2021 20:45 (two years ago) link
I suppose if they are saying "I want to seriously date you but you'll always be my lowest priority," that may be difficult to make work
I don't personally get involved in these sorts of arrangements but I can understand the appeal of having someone you only see from time to time and you can fill a particular need for each other. I know a few women secondary partners where it works in this sort of way and it can be sustainable with the right people.
― intern at pelican brief consulting (Simon H.), Thursday, 27 May 2021 20:52 (two years ago) link
I agree, but I get why that might not be appealing to some
― Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Thursday, 27 May 2021 21:00 (two years ago) link