start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

I have scissors and binder clips all over my kitchen to open stuff and clip it closed.

Ugh yes, Aldi has "resealable" packages on their lunch meat and cheeses but since it seems to just be weak glue, there's always some small bubble no matter how hard I press, especially for multiple uses. I end up just chucking the package into a large ziploc anyway.

Cheap readymeals have plastic which will not be peeled off in any less than 10 pieces.

I'm not a particularly enthusiastic Beyonce fan, but I do love when "Single Ladies" pops on the radio ... until it gets to the "... and delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond" line, and I think, really? A "Toy Story" reference? That's really stupid. It always takes me out the same way the equally dated/silly "Titanic" bit in the otherwise great "Oops! I Did It Again" does.

reading a book in English that contains a sentence or two in another language that is not translated presumably because the author assumes the reader should know said language.

#courage

when they try to give you a pizza box for only 2 slices of pizza.

You mean a whole box?

'Hello, and welcome to episode 815 of our podcast.'

(cue intro music at 5x the volume of spoken intro)

^ this.

look at the waveforms here and tell me where the music samples are. it's like they don't check.

https://soundcloud.com/vitriolamusic

xpost, it's a smaller version of the regular box but I still hate it. I always ask for them to just stack the slices and bag it.

Any time one of our clients renews their contract with my company, my co-worker will email me the details by first saying that such-and-such company has resigned.

Lol

oh my god.

And every time, I go What? Oh.

i don't like when my job sends mass emails from constant contact because it is dumb and because it has an "unsubscribe" link at the bottom which is very tempting. if you unsubscribe does it tell the sender?

See who unsubscribed when you click on the Reporting tab and look in the Unsubscribed Rate column for an email campaign. Click on the hyperlinked number of unsubcribed contacts your email received to see who unsubscribed and the reason they left, if they included one. You won't be able to email these contacts again unless they sign back up on your list. Sometimes a contact gets unsubscribed by accident. There are ways to add the unsubscribed contact back to your list if this happens.

i think i'll unsubscribe right before i quit then, hopefully soon

People who toss the football in public pools or beaches when either are full of people.

Ugh yes whyyyy

I think it's always the same dudes that just travel from location to location to annoy people.

omg i am getting more irrationally angry remembering some guy yelling Jackpot! every 20 seconds.

I hate anybody who repeats inane shit over and over.

Like last year. The Magic one their first playoff game in years (a road game). Aight. Fans were excited downtown. Cool, y'know, show yr support.

So I go to a soccer-themed Irish pub where basketball basically isn't featured to watch my local team. This dude at the bar drunkenly yells "GONNA GET YAAAA", which is part of the original Magic theme song from 1989. Ok cool, callback.

He then proceeded to do this every five minutes for two hours.

I was so glad when the Magic lost the next 4

*won

- learning to use various versions of nespresso machines in hotels (usually when I'm drunk and not thinking clearly)
- trying to read silver on silver writing on nespresso pods in hotels to work out what I'm drinking (usually when I'm drunk and not reading clearly and in real danger of drinking decaf)
- the names of nespresso pods in hotels telling you fuck all about what they are and why they are all different colours

- bonus IA: liners in hotel room bins that collapse into the bins at the slightest hint of any content

I can't stand it when my kids, who I love and care for but who are also at a stage old enough to more or less care for themselves, complain that they don't feel well but can't get much more specific than that. For example:

"My stomach hurts."
"How does it hurt?'
"I don't know."
"Does it feel like you're going to throw up?"
"I don't think so."
"Do you need to go to the bathroom?"
"No."
"Are you hungry?"
"No."
"Did you eat too much or too fast?"
"No."
"So what exactly feels bad?"
"I don't know, it just doesn't feel good."
"Do you need to stay home from school?"
"I don't want to."
"But do you need to?"
"I don't know."
"If you have a fever or feel like you're going to throw up, you should stay home."
"I don't think I'm going to throw up."
"OK. Well, if you go to school and you're still feeling bad, can you go to the nurse?"
"The nurse is stupid and all she'll do is take my temperature."
"Um, ok. But you do realize that once you go to school it's sort of out of my hands? I'm giving you a chance to stay home. Do you want to stay home?"
"I don't know."

It's so hard to take care of someone when you don't know what needs fixing.

Don't know whether this is rational or irrational, but I'm so deeply angry at my housemate (in Seattle) for continuing to travel by air, go to work when he could work from home, go to social dances four times a week, eat all his meals out, when the rest of us are doing everything we reasonably can to keep the coronavirus out of our house and keep from giving it to others. Now that King County is officially recommending that people work from home and stay out of group gatherings, everyone else in the house is taking it seriously, but not this dude.

He admits it's for purely selfish reasons; he says he knows he's risking killing people, but he already risks killing people when he drives, so limiting the spread of a pandemic just isn't a good enough reason to give up anything he likes doing. "I'm okay with a very high risk of making people sick, knowing some of them will die," isn't an argument I know how to counter, and trying to counter it reduces me to inarticulate anger and makes me a very ineffective arguer.

Maybe I'm crazy, idk. In every other respect he's been a great housemate.

bad housemate/roommate situations are traumatic experiences for life.

also, it's not irrational. I would probably just stone cold shut them out going forward because I have such little patience for that.

you're better off shutting him in imo

I will never understand why it is paralyzingly difficult for people to walk single-file on a sidewalk, particularly a busy one, particularly a busy AND narrow one

(in the irrational thread because when I mentioned this to someone just now they were like "how is that different from driving?" but the reason it is different from driving is that when you are driving generally you don't have oncoming traffic taking up both lanes of the goddamn road)

it's because when people are with their friends they think they have a natural right to exclude based on their group size even though none of them individually would have the right to force you from your rightfully occupied lane—the sheerest might-makes-right animal drive

</ solidarity>

This is always interesting to watch around fall in Philadelphia, where crops of new students walk obliviously in sidewalk-dominating groups and DGAF locals slam into them

Why, but why, are toasters so reluctant to let go of hot cross buns?

I don't know how I would deal with my toaster if I didn't have chopsticks to hand

I get annoyed when I eat a Magnum ice cream bar and I bite into it and the chocolate cracks and an enormous piece of the chocolate, like half the chocolate, just falls off

struggle is so real

I had never considered chopsticks. I turn it off at the mains and jab a fork into its griddled innards.

xps

And it always does. Any chocolate coated ice lolly, it's a fundamental design flaw.

I used to do the fork in the toaster thing. When my toaster died I never bothered replacing it because all things being equal the oven grill is just less stress.

Think of a Magnum as two courses. Begin not by savagely biting into it (note: if you do, the chocolate shell will shatter; the Magnum is designed to nudge people away from biting). Instead, use your front teeth to prise off all the chocolate.

Start – and this is important – along the right-hand edge of the Magnum, at the bottom, near the stick. Hold it just above your mouth, tilting it towards your face slightly, holding it diagonally so it points away over your left cheek. This way, if any pieces break off or are left hanging from the ice-cream centre, you are perfectly positioned to catch them as they fall, or nibble them away before they do.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/aug/03/how-to-eat-magnums-ice-cream-on-stick

And it always does. Any chocolate coated ice lolly, it's a fundamental design flaw.

― Dunty Reggae party 🎉 (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 7 March 2020 23:15 (three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

choc ices dont ime

density of coat is key

The grill feels more time-decadent - something I'd only dare do on holiday.

It did to me when I had a toaster but on the whole nah it's just as easy

Have totally had choc ices she'd big flakes of chocolate

And it always does. Any chocolate coated ice lolly, it's a fundamental design flaw.

I freeze bread and for some reason the grill is too hot to defrost it and toast it nicely at the same time. The sides burn while the middle stays untoasted.

You can get a morphy Richards toaster for 30 quid that let's you raise the toast without turning off the tungsten heat elements just to check it while it toasts. And they gave a fucking Nobel prize to Obama.

Don’t stick a fork in the toaster, stick a fork in the bread.

My latest for the Observer

I will never understand why it is paralyzingly difficult for people to walk single-file on a sidewalk, particularly a busy one, particularly a busy AND narrow one

― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Friday, March 6, 2020 1:36 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

THis is a pain here too. So presumably everywhere. THere are several paths around this town that are really too narrow for purpose that always have families straggling and walking several abreast so its really difficult to pass.
THere's a river bridge that has like 4 foot wide pavements that really only take people walking single file in either direction down and always have people taking up the whole pavement. The bridge also takes traffic so if you can't stay on the pavement you are going to be in front of moving traffic. It also has tourists stopping to look at the river in large numbers every summer. Presumably just needs to be replaced but not sure if or when that's going to happen.