outbreak! (ebola, sars, coronavirus, etc)

every now and again lads, every now and again.....eesh

ilxors showing the strain of simultaneous election angst, pandemic angst, and economic crash angst. it can emerge as odd squeaks.

i am not worried about everybody dying at all.

I'm positively eager for some cases.

I'm getting in on the new Australian tradition of stockpiling TP, but only because I needed something to tip me over the free delivery threshold from the organic grocers.

xp there it is

sanpaku slathering himself with purell in his basement cleanroom asking Siri about casualty figures

hot

that is strangely hot.

ha! xpost.

The White House would not allow audio or video of today’s federal coronavirus response news conference https://t.co/d2xc7vrtqV

— Jon Passantino (@passantino) March 3, 2020

....ok

No doubt they didn't want any clips going vi ...

My online customer service job just sent out an email saying they are taking the threat seriously, along with a fact sheet and tips about avoiding people who are sick, staying home if not feeling well, etc. They hasten to add, of course, that there's no need to change the harsh attendance policy. (Without a doctor's note, an unplanned absence is three points; it takes six months for a single point to fall off one's record. Nine points is termination. We don't get sick days, so to get paid, must use our limited PTO retroactively.)

So, of course, very few employees will actually stay home, especially if they can't manage to drag themselves into a doctor's for a note. No doubt people have similar circumstances throughout the service industry.

that is strangely hot.

Well, at the least it would probably sting a lot.

Very normal WH behavior, certain to quell fears and keep the stock market securely rocketing into the stratosphere.

My daughter's high school has a very strict absentee policy, basically 12 days max, for any reason. Well, *had* a very strict policy, because we got an email telling us that starting tomorrow they would prefer sick people just stay home, thank you very much.

ok fuck management, I'm wfh from tomorrow until TBD, only a matter of time before they tell us to do that anyway

i also expect to get an email sometime later this week instructing everyone to work from home if possible

the US response is awful. no leadership.

the supposed "leader" of the response is a guy famous for being a completely empty vessel of a man, and they won't even allow their press conferences on the topic to be recorded. it's fucking pathetic

the silby is not in your place

surely pence worried an audiovisual stimulus of his likeness in complete control of the situation might cause too many to stray

or if he is secretly dying of coronavirus, same thing but for a different set of people

if trump and pence die of coronavirus the US will have its first woman president

and coronavirus will be the first illness democratic nominee

But if just Trump dies of coronavirus and Pence becomes president, he will suddenly look like the fearless leader who piloted us through this national emergency.

sick pence none the richer

i can't stop touching my face sorry everyone

I'm finding it hard too

I’m trying to at least stop rooting around my teeth with my fingernails after eating

maybe we'll all develop some healthier hygiene from all of this

the real treasure was the hands we washed along the way

I have developed a new habit of touching my neck, like my hands go up to my face and then stop short at the last minute.

It'll be interesting to see what the trends are for all communicable diseases now that everyone is washing their hands more.

communicable disease way down, cliffhanger slippages way up

if you practice you can get your finger most of the way up your nose without even touching your face

your nose holes are just the inside of your face

I mean topologically your digestive and respiratory tracts are on the outside no?

i can't stop touching my gills.

sorry wrong thread.

everything is on the outside, that's why the viruses can get u

My workplace just sent out a communique banning all work related travel both overseas and domestic (we're a telco, so we can all easily communicate over plentiful videoconf anyway).

We've also been told to be vigilant of hand washing, illness symptoms and to STAY HOME if in doubt. The comparison to how things seem to work in the USA seem stark.

(I was horribly sick 2 weeks ago and able to stay home for 2 days and work from home, so I'm lucky. Oddly, the symptoms were a weird sudden flulike illness with a cough. I only didnt worry because I didnt really get a fever but still...)

My workplace just sent out a communique banning all work related travel both overseas and domestic (we're a telco, so we can all easily communicate over plentiful videoconf anyway).

We've also been told to be vigilant of hand washing, illness symptoms and to STAY HOME if in doubt. The comparison to how things seem to work in the USA seem stark.

― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, March 3, 2020 9:08 PM (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

my usa company did all these things (except the domestic travel ban which isn't a thing here yet) but that probably says more about my company than the usa

i can work from home if i want but i sit in an isolated back corner of the office and don't have face to face meetings so it probably doesn't matter too much. the bathroom is the only hazard

my friend told me this ridiculous story today. Her firm banned international air travel a week or two ago but these two guys whose flight got diverted from one italian airport decided to just get a car to drive in. BECAUSE ONLY AIR TRAVEL WAS BANNED.

They were at Voisins waiting for Nicole, six of them, Rosemary, the Norths, Dick Diver and two young French musicians. They were looking over the other patrons of the restaurant to see if they had repose — Dick said no American men had any repose, except himself, and they were seeking an example to confront him with. Things looked black for them — not a man had come into the restaurant for ten minutes without raising his hand to his face.
“We ought never to have given up waxed mustaches,” said Abe. “Nevertheless Dick isn’t the ONLY man with repose —”
“Oh, yes, I am.”
“— but he may be the only sober man with repose.”
A well-dressed American had come in with two women who swooped and fluttered unselfconsciously around a table. Suddenly, he perceived that he was being watched — whereupon his hand rose spasmodically and arranged a phantom bulge in his necktie. In another unseated party a man endlessly patted his shaven cheek with his palm, and his companion mechanically raised and lowered the stub of a cold cigar. The luckier ones fingered eyeglasses and facial hair, the unequipped stroked blank mouths, or even pulled desperately at the lobes of their ears.
A well-known general came in, and Abe, counting on the man’s first year at West Point — that year during which no cadet can resign and from which none ever recovers — made a bet with Dick of five dollars.
His hands hanging naturally at his sides, the general waited to be seated. Once his arms swung suddenly backward like a jumper’s and Dick said, “Ah!” supposing he had lost control, but the general recovered and they breathed again — the agony was nearly over, the garçon was pulling out his chair .
With a touch of fury the conqueror shot up his hand and scratched his gray immaculate head.
“You see,” said Dick smugly, “I’m the only one.”

“sick pence none the richer”

I can’t believe y’all slept on this gem.

it felt too perfect to comment on

Why gild the lily

REACH OUT AND TOUCH FACE

Sometimes ILX feels like a doubles ping pong tournament between team deems (feat. whoever else on the thread sets up the joke) and team mookie (feat. whoever as above)