love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

there is effectively some levels of *sensible* rationing going on online ordering, it won't let order more than two tinned/tubes of tomato puree.

that's more than I normally use in a week, but it could be worse.

They need to find a way of rationing the delivery slots, not everyone can or should go to the shops right now.

had an email from sainsbury's saying that they would be prioritising deliveries for the elderly and "the disabled". how you prove you're either of these in their online shop i have no idea

I'd a scan of a DWP PIP/pension letter would do, like old folks have scanners of course.

would

give people a few days to start faking those then

yep I don't there is a practicable way of doing it without potential of people feigning oldness/disability to get their orders tbh

Anyone caught doing this to be immediately disabled

death by a thousand faked blue badge cuts

haha just realised i have a couple of my mum's dad's WW2 ration books in a shoebox somewhere, so maybe i'm ok for powdered egg and radio malt for a day or two

Johnson ducks @Ianblackford_MP’s call for him to temporarily introduce universal income for all. Deep concern in Govt that if it came in, it would prove politically impossible to ever withdraw.

— Tom Newton Dunn (@tnewtondunn) March 18, 2020

had an email from sainsbury's saying that they would be prioritising deliveries for the elderly and "the disabled". how you prove you're either of these in their online shop i have no idea

You're a mature, grown-up liberal democracy.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ETK9geiXQAIkS4s?format=jpg&name=small

it me

(all of them)

We think we have it bad, but think how bad England’s most boring man has it:

I’ve walked the dogs, washed the car, tidied the house. I’m now bored out of my brain. Self isolate for weeks? I can’t manage a day!

— michael owen (@themichaelowen) March 15, 2020

I think you have to register DOB when you sign up to shop Sainsbury’s/Waitrose/Nectar online? I don’t do online shopping as a rule because I’d rather walk to the shop than wait in for parcels. Takes less time where I am.

I think you could be right about that. I mostly put in a nonsense DOB when i sign up for stuff cos it's none of their business, mostly like 1-Jan-1902 or something. So I'll be fine, they think I'm 118 years old

by my maths, if every mp gets infected, 11.9 of them will die

place your bets

― uncle-knower is coming for you (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 March 2020 08:58 (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Due to a member of my family showing symptoms of Coronavirus, I’m following NHS advice and self-isolating for the next 14 days.

I’m showing no symptoms myself and feel absolutely fine but it’s vital that we all follow the Government’s medical advice.

— Tim Farron (@timfarron) March 18, 2020

All that milk is going to see him just fine.

I'm presuming a large amount of pensioners are not very online, my mum certainly isn't. And it'll often be family members who will be doing the ordering for them. Is there any way I can send a burning bag of dog shit to Tim Farron's doorstep now he's at home for a while?

deliverpoo

Schools closing in Wales and Scotland. Can’t see England and NI lasting much into next week.

I think they break up for easter in 2 weeks, are these fuckers just going to wait until then?

Deutsche Bank expects the mother of all recessions: "The quarterly declines in GDP growth we anticipate substantially exceed anything previously recorded going back to
at least World War II." pic.twitter.com/jfPY5jR0Vw

— Holger Zschaepitz (@Schuldensuehner) March 18, 2020

That's less a recession and more a short but very sharp shock but those forecasts include a sharp rebound in Q3 which seems... hopeful. If it goes on for longer then everything depends on how long businesses and households can be kept on economic life support.

just got a call from the son's teacher who reckons schools will be closed in England as well this 5pm press conf

Hull College closed to students from tonight so yeah I guess it's happening to schools too

lots of online chatter about london being put into lockdown, no idea what to believe at this point tbh

My friend works for Weatherspoon Bristol. This is what they got today from owner - 'UK is right to keep pubs open, following the Dutch position"
She gets no handgel, no masks and is not allowed to wear gloves. pic.twitter.com/w6L9AKfwBD

— Daniela Gabor (@DanielaGabor) March 17, 2020

bludgeoning Tim martin to death with a sledgehammer and shutting up all his stinking pisshole pubs would be some justifiable state intervention/homicide if it potentially saved lots of lives during this next upward curve of infection. Seriously though...

bg: https://www.ft.com/content/e8c98d1c-6926-11ea-a3c9-1fe6fedcca75 yep

the old you can't link FT problem, if you google search "London lockdown imminent to slow coronavirus outbreak" clickable FT link is at the top.

Time for people to get a bone on for martial law, huzzah

Schools across the UK are also expected to close by the weekend, although special provision would be made for the children of key workers, including NHS staff, to avoid the risk off parents having to take time off work for child care.

would have been maybe a good idea to implement this a couple of weeks back.

Interesting to see whether lockdown means no entrance to / exit from London and who's going to enforce that, if so.

old-school east end gangsters or gtfo imo

they've suspended filming Eastenders I heard. Maybe some of them toughies could lend a hand. Lol not watched that shite in decades tbh!

the gangsters live in spain now iirc, the east end is now just full of me

xp finally a silver lining

Interesting to see whether lockdown means no entrance to / exit from London and who's going to enforce that, if so.

Bane, iirc

Dirty Den

Schools close on Friday ‘until further notice’.

Oh Christ I forgot Gavin Williamson was Education.

All schools closed except for children of key workers and vulnerable children.

Love too admit they have to keep the schools open cos it’s the only place some children will be fed.

Absolutely no doubt in mind this speech was delayed because Boris had the shits. He looks terrible.

get well soon big man, hope u don’t shit yrself to agonising death

Love to admit the most important role of the state education system in the UK

but there’s no such thing as society iirc

Remember when you could be fined for taking your kid out of school for a day cos that would irreparably ruin their education

... what happens to the kids of teachers?