love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

I think they break up for easter in 2 weeks, are these fuckers just going to wait until then?

Deutsche Bank expects the mother of all recessions: "The quarterly declines in GDP growth we anticipate substantially exceed anything previously recorded going back to
at least World War II." pic.twitter.com/jfPY5jR0Vw

— Holger Zschaepitz (@Schuldensuehner) March 18, 2020

That's less a recession and more a short but very sharp shock but those forecasts include a sharp rebound in Q3 which seems... hopeful. If it goes on for longer then everything depends on how long businesses and households can be kept on economic life support.

just got a call from the son's teacher who reckons schools will be closed in England as well this 5pm press conf

Hull College closed to students from tonight so yeah I guess it's happening to schools too

lots of online chatter about london being put into lockdown, no idea what to believe at this point tbh

My friend works for Weatherspoon Bristol. This is what they got today from owner - 'UK is right to keep pubs open, following the Dutch position"
She gets no handgel, no masks and is not allowed to wear gloves. pic.twitter.com/w6L9AKfwBD

— Daniela Gabor (@DanielaGabor) March 17, 2020

bludgeoning Tim martin to death with a sledgehammer and shutting up all his stinking pisshole pubs would be some justifiable state intervention/homicide if it potentially saved lots of lives during this next upward curve of infection. Seriously though...

bg: https://www.ft.com/content/e8c98d1c-6926-11ea-a3c9-1fe6fedcca75 yep

the old you can't link FT problem, if you google search "London lockdown imminent to slow coronavirus outbreak" clickable FT link is at the top.

Time for people to get a bone on for martial law, huzzah

Schools across the UK are also expected to close by the weekend, although special provision would be made for the children of key workers, including NHS staff, to avoid the risk off parents having to take time off work for child care.

would have been maybe a good idea to implement this a couple of weeks back.

Interesting to see whether lockdown means no entrance to / exit from London and who's going to enforce that, if so.

old-school east end gangsters or gtfo imo

they've suspended filming Eastenders I heard. Maybe some of them toughies could lend a hand. Lol not watched that shite in decades tbh!

the gangsters live in spain now iirc, the east end is now just full of me

xp finally a silver lining

Interesting to see whether lockdown means no entrance to / exit from London and who's going to enforce that, if so.

Bane, iirc

Dirty Den

Schools close on Friday ‘until further notice’.

Oh Christ I forgot Gavin Williamson was Education.

All schools closed except for children of key workers and vulnerable children.

Love too admit they have to keep the schools open cos it’s the only place some children will be fed.

Absolutely no doubt in mind this speech was delayed because Boris had the shits. He looks terrible.

get well soon big man, hope u don’t shit yrself to agonising death

Love to admit the most important role of the state education system in the UK

but there’s no such thing as society iirc

Remember when you could be fined for taking your kid out of school for a day cos that would irreparably ruin their education

... what happens to the kids of teachers?

They'll go to school, where there'll be a load of edumacating going on

can't wait to get my Morrisons delivery from an 11 year old teacher's kid whose just done a shift at toilet roll factory.

https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/health/2020/03/government-documents-show-no-planning-ventilators-event-pandemic

Will there ever be any accountability

GCSEs and A-Levels cancelled, inevitably.

Feel like these conferences are painting an optimistic picture of how we're ensuring we don't stretch the NHS capacity to deal with serious cases while refusing to state what that capacity is and how close we are to it.

If the schools measure is an ineffective a delay tactic as it's been stated over the past week then why change and why now?

On of the journos attempted to get the PM to call his father immoral.

Lloyd Russell-Moyle has tested positive according to the local news. He's also HIV positive, fuck

After a 6 day wait for results I have just been informed I have tested positive to COVID-19.

— Lloyd Russell-Moyle MP🌹🇪🇺🏳️‍🌈 (@lloyd_rm) March 18, 2020

those Q3 DB projections are cuckoo

LR-M is positive, yeah, but I believe he’s on antiretrovirals and Terrence Higgins Trust says very much depends on the individual. Fingers crossed for him.

pic.twitter.com/FPr1aGhaTC

— Tom Williams, Socialist Dad (@shirleymush) March 18, 2020

JPMorgan is now predicting the second quarter of this year could see the US economy slump by as much as 14% because of the coronavirus crisis.

Q1: -4%
Q2: -14%
Q3: +8%
Q4: +4%

Full year: -1.5% overall.

If the bank’s second-quarter prediction is accurate, it would mean that this year will see the worst three-month economic period in the US since World War II.

lads, ur Q3 numbers are at it also

xp

if only Starmer was just simply a downgrade, but he's just a complete change in direction to the point where the DUP and Trump have been fiscally to the left of him in recent weeks. Although sometimes it's hard to tell where he is at because he has that melt style of speaking in platitudes (in his pathetic fucking voice).

+8% on the pent-up demand for haircuts and yoga classes. I personally plan on getting two manicures a day as soon as this thing passes.

Hell I might get a haircut when all this is over

receding fuckers like me are nihilists not stylists and just need a shaver on No2 and a mirror, not like these Starmerite melts with their poncey brylcreem hairdos like erm... Kim Jong Un!

It's been less than a week and we're already on "I'm gonna get me one of them fancy haircuts" talk

my local barber does skin fades, hot towel shaves, ears and nasal hairs - the lot and local thugs of all ages love the place. When you are a halfway member of the bald community you just dare not walk into a barbers - not been in one since 2007 now.

The UK is the only major country in Europe not to have announced that it will subsidise employees’ wages or make direct cash payments to its citizens. (Via @georgegrylls) https://t.co/XFpO3ccinw

— George Eaton (@georgeeaton) March 18, 2020

🐦[My friend works for Weatherspoon Bristol. This is what they got today from owner - ’UK is right to keep pubs open, following the Dutch position"
She gets no handgel, no masks and is not allowed to wear gloves. pic.twitter.com/w6L9AKfwBD🕸
— Daniela Gabor (@DanielaGabor) March 17, 2020🕸]🐦

bludgeoning Tim martin to death with a sledgehammer and shutting up all his stinking pisshole pubs would be some justifiable state intervention/homicide if it potentially saved lots of lives during this next upward curve of infection. Seriously though...

I would literally stab a random stranger for a pint and a cig atm

Pure make believe from forecasters that the growth in q3 and 4 will nearly match the loss in q2 as no one knows what will happen next week, never mind in q3

Sorry but none of ye can match my extremely deep regret about not getting a haircut- my hair is already fine to start with and it doesn’t really suit this length. It’s going to be four feet long and three inches wide by the time this is over.

time to start shaving yr own head imo, i’ve been doing it for nearly 10 years and it’s very therapeutic

also if you fuck it up you’ll have plenty of time to grow it out while self-isolating