in which we list our own cv19 symptoms (speculative)

100. clear plastic golf trousers

101. sudden ability to play the trumpet (as-yet-untested, tbf)

102. Black smoke belching from open mouth.

Okay, this one is 100% serious and mysterious and I wasn't sure where to share it before, but:

On my last day in the outside world, I left work and went on one last grocery run. Among the groceries I bought were four cans of soup, of a variety and brand that I regularly buy. These were the only canned goods I bought that day. I did self-checkout and bagged everything myself, so I know precisely what went in the bags. And I was mindful to not go hog wild on things like canned goods because I was going to be lugging all that shit on my shoulder all the way home and it adds up. The weight, I mean. So I get home, I put away my groceries, and because the cabinets were getting a little overfilled, I put a bag of less perishable stuff in another room. Namely, the four cans of soup and a loaf of bread. At that point, we were on lockdown, leaving basically only for walks and to like get the mail. No one else has been in the apartment. So like a week later, as we started to make some room in the cabinets, I thought: oh hey, guess I'll put away that loaf of bread and those four soup cans. So I went to the bag and...there were like ten soup cans in there, all but the four of a different variety and brand than I have ever bought. I...have no idea where they came from. No idea whatsoever. Literally the only way this could have happened via non-supernatural means is if someone slipped them into my shopping bag while my attention was diverted on the train home that day.

So:

103. mystery soup manifesting from the void

soup cans be fuckin’

103. mystery soup manifesting from the void

Have you considered changing your display name?

104. Biden-esque speech patterns

105. some psychosomatic symptoms, difficult to endure, involving the upper respiratory tract

106. Breathe the pressure / Come play my game, I'll test ya / Psychosomatic, addict, insane

107. literal frog in one's throat

108. I'm dead
109. I'm The Stranger

110. felicitous, newly acquired ability to front a caverncore band

111. urge to trawl through YouTube for videos of oddballs giving lessons on etiquette

112. Got a wicked case of the jimmy leg

113. woke up inhabiting the body of Richard Kline (who portrayed Jack Tripper's friend Larry on the beloved sitcom Three's Company)

114. speaks only in V A G A R I E S

115. perpetual obliqueness

116. smiling next to others in silent lucidity

117. Delayed choogling

118. Sad hands

119. bunch of sarcastic raccoons playing ping-pong in the ol’ mailbox, if you know what I mean

120. I really, really, really want to zig-a-zig-ah

121. old hockey books

121. jerkier, even less confident stabs at hanky panky

*122 ffs

123. Pre-mullet.

124. Post-hawk

125. Rough smoothies

126. Can smell passing clouds

127. FONMO, Fear of Not Missing Out

128. unable to face down large centipedes

Guess I've had cv19 all my life.

129. yo-yo won't come back to me

(granted, I threw it in the trash, but still)

130. tragic noggin

131. violent craving for consensus

132. morning necrophilia

133. travels solely by leapfrog, much to the chagrin of everyone en route

134. all sandwiches taste like pastrami on rye

135. import error
136. file name extension retention
137. Trudeau cravings

138. an additional soul scored from a 1-up brick

139. impromptu delivery of all of your dialogue throughout the day in the style suggested to you by the music from next doors telly

140. weak reflection

wait

i need that one clarified

141. murky posts

142. most perky

143. uncharacteristic assassination

144. aromas of peat, nail varnish, and wood lice

in which we list our own cv19 symptoms (speculative) [Started by ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac) in March 2020, last updated Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:48 by epistantophus] 140 new answers
Mark Kermode [Started by pete s in January 2004, last updated Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:43 by Ward Fowler] 30 new answers

145: marker mode