Thomas Friedman, why don't you break up?

Tom is just as dumb when he works remotely

If I Told You My Idea Was a Robot That Harasses Chickens, You Wouldn’t Believe Me. But That’s My Best Idea. By Thomas Friedman pic.twitter.com/GVaJ2yoah4

— Hamilton Nolan (@hamiltonnolan) April 15, 2020

"It patrols the poultry house for dead birds" passes without comment

Buffalo Bill's most chilling line

If recent weeks have shown us anything, it’s that the world is not just flat. It’s fragile.

Can someone plz photoshop a pic of Friedman with a light bulb appearing in a thought bubble over his head?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EaJtI-cWsAAL_tj?format=jpg&name=900x900

wow

i'm gonna admit, this is headed toward so bad it's good territory

he dreamt a motto that was based off another motto, and then made a parody motto of that. then made that the headline

he's a goddamn genius

you can tell because of the way his hands are folded beneath his chin, true sign

i couldn't help it, sorry

Let's Change our Motto to __. It is Heading Toward __, and I fear it Becoming __.

any guesses?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eb240XTWoAA413C?format=jpg&name=small

A Chicken in Every Pot

Truck Fump

Make the Pie Bigger

A Big Fucking Deal

The Heart Rate Is Flat

I hate-read this post this morning. His stupidity is unfathomable.

end the suspense, mook! we need that slogan to phone-bank for Big Joe.

“Respect science, respect nature, respect each other.”

the catchphrase champion has done it again

what's the over/under on how long he spent thinking of that bumper sticker that will also win the election?

30 seconds?

America Is Already Great

Make America Greater Againer

xxp no way, he spends like half his day thinking about catchphrases

i'm not joking at all

i'm sure he heard from a pipe-fitter in Des Moines

...and a taxi driver in Abu-Dhabi.

the slogan that comes to mind was suggested to me by the environmental innovator Hal Harvey. Harvey didn’t know he was suggesting it; he just happened to sign off a recent email to me by writing: “Respect science, respect nature, respect each other.”

I thought — wow, that’s a perfect message for Biden, and for all of us.

so the answer to this sounds like between 0 and 2 seconds.

I thought — wow phew, that’s a perfect message for Biden, and for all of us I might malke this deadline after all

malke?

make

Does anyone have any idea where 65-year-olds and older can get vaccinated against Covid in Maryland? They opened the category today and told people NOTHING about where to go. None of this would be happening if Larry Hogan were governor.

— Thomas L. Friedman (@tomfriedman) January 25, 2021

None of this would be happening if Larry Hogan were governor.

Nice use of ambiguity there, Tom.

pls someone give Tom the placebo vaccine. please.

ask your driver

Kids, this is what it was like. pic.twitter.com/BlWrjCe8LL

— mattgallagher0 (@MattGallagher0) August 20, 2021

middle east expert thomas friedman

i can't fucking BELIEVE i read the world is flat

"It's far away."

The World is Flat is from 2005. i wonder if afghanistan opened him up to that? he was like, wait a second, the world IS far away. and it is also flat

hey there, lorryman! how flat are these roads, to you?

"interesting...he uses technology and it changes how he operates"

nexts day's column:

MY FACE IS LIKE A WALRUSMAN

I’m rereading this line and contorting my face in a number of ways

Check the map. It’s far away.

*checks the map. checks the scale. confirms far*

thomas friedman spins the globe. around and around it goes. he puts the finger on it and stops it on the other side, right on afghanistan. he checks the scale

he furiously pulls out his palm pilot and with quaking hands writes a note to remember for the morning: "it's far away"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4roxM8hUMk

Aghanistan...istan so far away