RIP Boris Johnson

ok so of all my pals across the UK internet listening gloomily for any borisclapping last night, only one reported hearing anything at all, a pal in nhs admin in south london. Her description reminded me of this:

this is a sick country pic.twitter.com/jX8YbP5obC

— boomsday prepper (@AliceAvizandum) April 8, 2020

When she saw it just now she said: "YES that's him! It's exactly what it sounded like."

Happy to report there was complete silence at 8 where I live, barring some karaoke action coming from a flat.

shirtless pan man boris fan still less deranged than this guy

Earlier this evening, I took part in the #ClapForBoris. I was joined up and down our United Kingdom by those who wanted to show their appreciation to our Prime Minister.

His response to the #COVID19 pandemic has been nothing short of heroic! pic.twitter.com/VCL0lY7uOt

— Jordan Jacobs (@jordanjacobs180) April 7, 2020

is his hair growing out of his brain

What brain?

Are they saying "boo" or "Boo-ris"?

Dressed like a cross between an amateur magician and a wine bar waiter who has had to provide his own tuxedo.

#clapforbots

This Govt is so inept it can’t even gaslight us without getting busted: pic.twitter.com/JuyUHKWEpU

— Winston Smith (@2019_winston) April 8, 2020

Sometimes I start to think that my perception is distorted by unexamined prejudice

harder than ever to penetrate the fog of garbage but if this is true (ffs don't bother with the thread, merrick is famously terrible):

The World at One have just played @BorisJohnson’s favourite song, Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles, “in the hope that it might reach him”. A simple yet very moving moment of radio. #wato

— Stop socialising = save lives (@janemerrick23) April 7, 2020

playing a favourite sonf is what you do with ppl in comas that you want to call away from The Light™ and back towards wakefulness.

plus "stable" and "comfortable" are also both perfectly compatible with coma, induced or otherwise. "in good spirits" less so if my mum's non-induced coma of 2004 is any guide -- lol i have never seen someone in such a snorting fighting temper while also unconscious, they never show THIS on the hospital soaps -- but it's not like they're all sat ministering at his side. a torrent of frightened jostling serpents tbrr

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_eIZ7tWhak

I don't care how unimpeachably-terrific he is, I'm not contracting the clap for any PM, sorry that's just how I feel

the tweets BG has put in other threads, i will never stop posting them here

why restrict yourself to just this thread

had to read 'stop socialism = save lives' a few times there

is he actually dying?

why what have you heard

https://pics.onsizzle.com/Facebook-%C2%B7-3ef579.png

not as good at reading between the lines of news reports of some people here. would like some primo ilx analysis. xp

ilx exclusive: he’s been dead since november

force ghost bj

thanks 4 new screen-name

His essence was squirted out into his innumerable offspring years ago, the devil child currently being incubated by the fragrant Carrie is the Final Programme of a centuries-long war between competing gangs of angels.

We need to be more careful about electing disheveled caricatures as world leaders when they can be so successfully replaced with crude, life-sized puppets without anyone noticing.

what the hell is a blowgob

Life imitates Spitting Image.

xpost

or was it

it's sad. he is a scene from ghostbusters now.

he’s been slimer for a long time tbf

If the British Prime Minister dies of coronavirus, war with China is inevitable.

Let’s pray he recovers. https://t.co/RB8oBZo7hJ

— Zachary Miller (@_ZacharyMiller) April 6, 2020

whos this some maga

Oh cool, this guy is from Waco.

that tweet has one like, is there a reason i have to see it

If we all work together, we can take it viral

There should be a thread for Zachary Miller tweets

I judge people who claim we’re living in 1984 rather than Brave New World harshly

— Zachary Miller (@_ZacharyMiller) April 6, 2020

send Zachary Miller thread to dead Boris!

I’m going to delete the original tweet, because the first part of it was wrong and I shouldn’t have said it.

— Zachary Miller (@_ZacharyMiller) April 8, 2020

"...doctors have described his condition as 'satisfactory'.
the funeral will be held tomorrow at blah blah blah blah"

Trump says Boris Johnson is doing "much better...at least better...he seems to be doing better, and that's good, and we send our regards to Boris and his family and his friends...He's become a very popular -- before this happened...very popular..."

— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) April 8, 2020

What a stupid person. Though I do love the hedge on "much better." Did I say "much better?" I mean, "better." That is, he *seems* to be doing better. Wait, did I say better? I meant to say "dead."

much deader

Daniel Dale must be exhausted. He seems to spend half his life reporting everything Trump says and the other half explaining how each thing is a lie/exaggeration/wrong.

Is there a 'last famous person you were not surprised to discover was actually still alive' thread we can stick Boris on?

whatever daniel dale thinks he's doing (fact checking?) is part of the problem IMO

Quoting?

He’s a New York Times article that leads with the lie, but a twitter account.

wow, my eyes just rolled so hard it broke my brain

Anyway the say it’s bad news if you do more than 3-4 days in ICU. This is day 4. If they don’t announce a discharge you can safely assume they’re lying about his condition

— Your Mum (@judeinlondon2) April 9, 2020

boris has historically tried to keep his discharges quiet tbf