Lads, it's the Premier League thread - EPL 2019/20

Furlough the fuckers up to a maximum of £2500/month, it's not like their skills are of any use whatsoever right now. De Bruyne? Firmino? Glenn Murray? Compared to a shelf-stacker in Asda they're a complete waste of space.

Employees will be categorised as high or low protection, with footballers in the former group.

There it is

Furlough the fuckers up to a maximum of £2500/month, it's not like their skills are of any use whatsoever right now. De Bruyne? Firmino? Glenn Murray? Compared to a shelf-stacker in Asda they're a complete waste of space.

― does anyone know of any choir-organ repairers? mine broke (Matt #2), Friday, April 24, 2020 3:17 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

can't tell if this is a joke post or not

thanks, was gonna say

Not sure myself!

i would still prefer to wipe next season and finish this one properly at some point if possible next year or whenever, but clearly that's a terrible financial imposition

That's more or less what I said the day they cancelled postponed this season: there seems very little chance of playing this year full-stop, so why not just freeze everything for a year and restart this season in March 2021 at the point we left off?

Player contracts, TV contracts.

Danny Rose has described talk of a Premier League return amid the coronavirus pandemic as ‘b*******’, insisting he doesn’t ‘give a f***’ if it helps lift the nation’s morale if lives are still at risk.

I think ILX's fave lb could do a better job than Whitty.

I still listen to a few football podcasts and, in terms of ads, it's wall-to-wall Jose/Paddy Power. So my idle question for which I can't be arsed to DMOR and for which I have no personal insight whatever: what's COVID done to online gambling? Presumably, there's fuck all to gamble *on* but gamblers will find other things to gamble on?

Albanian football and South African horse-racing never stopped during the lockdown and people were punting on eFootball, don't ask me i haven't a clue!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvrGNgY9_i4

Marbles man, betting on marbles!

actually I think it was the Moldovan league that kept going

Belarus, it was

that's the one! their pres reckons hard agrarian slog in the fields and a litre of vodka a day keeps the rona away

Man, that marbles thing has sent me spiralling into the past. I want to a) see a domino topple and b) bet on it.

I've been having a dabble on the Hong Kong racing, it appears to be less shady (and therefore easier to make money on) than the UK stuff

Dinamo Brest vs BATE Borisov should be a cracker today.

Saw a blow football set for sale the other day, I'd completely forgotten about that. I was thinking it could be a way to finish the season off - that or Subbuteo, or maybe Logacta - but I suppose it wouldn't be great for distancing. Danny Rose into the trenches it is then!

Dan Walker is a fucking wasteman

^

(No idea if he's said or done anything to bring that on particularly, but always worth repeating)

Not really, I just saw him.

That's generally enough.

can't wait for zero atmosphere deathball to come back

god MOTD will be something to avoid like a pandemic after they restart

zero atmosphere deathball sounds pretty good

like rollerball in space

yeah it would be better than the mouldering corpse of this football season tbf

was jealously listening to an account of an attendee at a cup game in Vietnam with a limited capacity crowd of 10k+ that happened recently and thinking wow what a novel idea. But quite amazingly they've only had hundreds of c-19 infections there and zero deaths!

The sooner you go into a lockdown the sooner you get out!

I really struggle to understand why people seem so desperate to cling on to any slither of potentially bad news and ignore the obvious better signs of recovery in this pandemic. Reminds me of the old saying “misery loves company”. I guess it’s just the optimist in me 😃👍🏻

— Matt Le Tissier (@mattletiss7) June 6, 2020

listen to mr happiness and positivity here, yeah the 2nd highest death toll in the world you fucking tory wankstain!

I can't get remotely excited for the return of football, this is shit, and yeah fuck Le Tiss

I only just noticed they ran the 2000 guineas today. Horseracing is much less problematic than football as a spectator free sport, but my days of 50p each way lucky 15s are behind me and can't really muster up much enthusiasm for watching the racing without the betting!

arsenal warming up today with a 6-0 thrashing of plucky little charlton apparently

Le Tissier is a repeater of crackpot Internet "it's just the flu" garbage and istr some antivax shit in his past along with cheerleading the FTSE going up slightly as a sign the brexit fear mongers were wrong. So yes, fuck le Tiss. xp

the one-club legend is a verified wanker club member and also in the guild of arseholes

add climate change denier to his CV too

oh aye he's fucking shocking on that too

some player but

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/53007456

Dele banned over snapchat racism.

"However, he said he had been "betrayed" by a friend who sold the video on his private account to the media."

OMG he's been having an affair with rebekah vardy

can't believe Dele has exercised poor judgement

huh nobody has done the dele alli father ted "not a racist" photoshop yet?

had managed to completely forget that mou was still spurs manager, feels like he had been and gone already.

who's to say who is managing anything in These Unprecedented Times?

had managed to completely forget that mou was still spurs manager, feels like he had been and gone already.

― oscar bravo, Thursday, June 11, 2020 3:57 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

literally thought exactly the same thing yesterday

Somewhere a poor Spurs fans is waking to that crushing disappointment.

The interrupted timeline will mess up the Third Season Meltdown scenario for sure, or has he brought that one forward already? I forget.

so what has been the televised decision on these games now then?

https://www.premierleague.com/broadcast-schedules

The other 6 matchdays haven’t been arranged yet I don’t think