Poop...

but pooping is liberating and empowering

Not to mention lightening.

poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

Why the fuck this thread got to float to the top of the new answers bowl when im eating some delicious pizza

dude, considering your ilx history here....!!!!

it's true. i'm all about the pizza.

"Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!"

Who wrote that? I'm drawing a blank. Was it Donne? Swift?

NM - my friend Gooogle confirmed it was Swift.

yep.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

more than 50% of poll participants shit two or more times a day. How do you people have time for jobs?

who says you can't work on the can

I was sweating just waiting for the results.
but thank god, I'm average.
now no one can dispute my pooping preferences.

more than 50% of poll participants shit two or more times a day. How do you people have time for jobs?

^^^ toilet sitta

I'm more surprised that so many people don't even need to shit every day. How is that possible?

o, the humanity!

Seems like the denizens of this board would be interested in this site:
http://www.poopandmemory.org/

as i reach for the last half inch of a nearly depleted french press of coffee even though i am already highly caffeinated, i notice the colonies of floating grinds and am fully aware that i am most likely going to trigger a sizeable pooping event. every gulp leads me closer to the glorious conclusion

*gulps* *farts*

I really hate pooping.

Somebody should make a poop centrifuge for people who hate pooping. You get into it, it spins you round really fast, and centrifugal force just pulls the poop out of you.

Pooptrifuge(tm)

Then they could get William Shatner to do the adverts.

pooptrifuge.com - no-one register that domain, I've got dibs on it.

yesterday it felt like I was trying to pass that rolling ball from Raiders of the Lost Ark

I don't know if that's good or bad

painful but reverent

Haha, a word that has never been attributed to poop by anyone ever

being awakened by one’s need to shit is never good

i mean it’s better than *not* being awakened by one’s need to shit, but how about we just leave all the shitting to normal daytime hours

t/s: being awakened by one's need to shit vs being awakened by someone else's need to shit

vs failing to awake despite one's urgent need to shit

vs one's urgent need to shit triggering a narcoleptic episode

*dreamcatcher*

one's urgent need to shit triggering a narcoleptic episode

s(h)itcom waiting to happen imo

Sacha Baron Cohen's next project.

just read this at snopes...

In 1965 a ‘grossly obese’ man survived without eating for 1 year and 17 days. He lived entirely off his copious body fat and vitamins, and ended up losing 125kg [276 lb] of weight with no adverse effects. Also, he only pooped every 40 – 50 days

He later became the 45th President of the United States.

Pooping should be a glorious ritual reserved for the early morning, immediately before showering

I mean, if you want to jump the gun and pretend that there isn't a perfectly functional drain in the shower, sure.

IMPORTANT: Steven Bochco fired the lead actor from MURDER ONE because his morning dump made him an hour late to set every single day. Please RT! pic.twitter.com/xLHorB33KL

— Max Silvestri (@maxsilvestri) July 26, 2018

murder two morelike

that's so hilarious to me. just how recalcitrant about it he was