L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

the towels in the bathroom annoyed me the most.

Srsly having been looking non stop at listings for weeks now, the homes in the higher price ranges are way uglier than the cheaper ones on average

The French Limestone Mansion Faces A Rare Marble Fountain Imported From The Rothschild Estate In France, Contains Multiple Parquet De Versailles Floors, Boiserie Removed From Centuries-Old French Chateaus, Verre Eglomise Mirrors And Pietra Dura Floors.

Somehow capitalizing each word seems completely appropriate.

http://www.wfp.com/listing-showcase/property-details.asp?mlsid=MDMC678718#

keep going until you get to the basement

lmao it was honestly pretty tasteful for a rich person house until that point

that's a helluva twist

it looks like a funeral home. and then the basement... mary poppins meets the exorcist is about right

What the.

Never making fun on any regular man caves again.

https://i.imgur.com/FlW3LyP.jpg

A child's dream of a toy store and then...a massage parlor. This seems fine.

I'm kind of with the people on twitter who said if they were rich they'd do something similar. I mean, you're rich! Make it fun. Also Mary Poppins/The Exorcist double bill is hilarious. To be honest I'm more stuck on why you'd want a balcony overlooking your kitchen...

That does show a sense of humor, but I feel like the owners would be overly eager to show it to you and elbow you in the ribs to force you to laugh, like a Fred Willard character

separately I just don't get what people do with all that space -- scavenger hunts?

they dust

room for the maid, au pair, chef and then room for the grandkids when they visit iirc

To be honest I'm more stuck on why you'd want a balcony overlooking your kitchen...

― emil.y, Wednesday, May 27, 2020 11:23 AM

Yeah, this brought on some unfortunate barndominium flashbacks.

the basement is both awesome and exactly what man alive describes. at least it reflects some kind of personality - the whole rest of the house is an exhausting barrage of "rich people live like this, right?" tropes that i'm always stunned to be reminded still hold actual present-day appeal for large swaths of the ruling class. fuck them all! the little guest-building out in the yard seems like more house than i would know what to do with.

Not a listing photo, but I keep getting facebook ads for this bathroom renovation company called Block Renovations, and I'm deeply, irrationally angered by this sharp-cornered protruding shower shelf, probably because I just imagine myself half asleep injuring myself on it

https://images.ctfassets.net/q9rxrblsu2zi/5LdGQbtVpOfY5XVGldEQUr/9136921c9e7805b95cbdb85f10cb0d3a/colorblockindex_d_2x.jpg

the bathroom itself is not bad but a little cold for a home imo, like it looks more like a stall at some hip small contemporary art museum

yeah somewhere in between that and a recently-renovated hotel. the coordinated, neutral, blend-into-the-background beauty products are probably the main reason it seems impersonal. i mean in practice all a bathroom really needs is one or two personal art choices hung up.

https://medium.com/@SimonORegan/adventures-in-bad-design-showers-f96324c3510a
http://miro.medium.com/max/1400/1*LP3NKxDOTYrO1OZ_cAtn8g.jpeg

there's tity in that picture

hard to imagine anyone of my generation decorating a house anything like that but maybe the human brain just warps that way after age 40

That green bathroom looks like it's made for a vampire who lives inside AUTOCAD.

And not only do I see a tity in the shower, but I also see the dude from the Chronic Town album cover.

Wine Frig

we've all been there, amirite

the property taxes on that stupid basement house in potomac are more than my AGI for 2019 i think

is it bad that I really want a dumb movie theater storefront in my basement now

you can only watch platoon, mary poppins, or the exorcist

unlike these chumps I would install an actual swappable-letter marquee

insane decorating choices are wasted on the rich

https://i.imgur.com/24R1NAP.jpg

Eggleston Realty with a new listing.

😍

is that the room they shot hoffa in

that room has an A/C unit which makes it p appealing rn

fuck your three bedroom manhattan apartment; get an entire swedish village instead
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/27/realestate/house-hunting-in-sweden-an-entire-62-acre-village-for-7-2-million.html

Stage your own Midsommar!

insane decorating choices are wasted on the rich

― silby, Wednesday, May 27, 2020 5:11 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

I think a lot about the role of American class dynamics in housing, bc I think there's this unique thing where, even though you don't truly have tons of aggregate social mobility, the economy is so big and dynamic that there are a ton of randos who get rich bc they are just really good (or reall lucky) at one thing, whether it's throwing a football, inventing an extremely popular air freshener, being some kind of programming whiz who hits big with an app, etc. That plus Americans already have much less sense of history or tradition than most countries means that you get some wild and often terrible architecture and design in the homes of the wealthy.

Patton Oswalt discussed that a variant on that in a bit of his new special.
https://teamcoco.com/video/patton-oswalt-s-new-house-is-being-built-by-crazy-people

The fuck is this?

https://photos.zillowstatic.com/uncropped_scaled_within_1536_1152/ISjb0vm178szbm0000000000.webp

So that's what they mean by having a half-bath.

well done

take your pick, apparently, halved by length or by widgh
https://photos.zillowstatic.com/uncropped_scaled_within_1536_1152/ISrh2758bg0xbm0000000000.webp

I hate this house, and it's listed for rent at $7200/mo

Maybe it's just late, but this image is kind of freaking me out right now

https://photos.zillowstatic.com/uncropped_scaled_within_1536_1152/ISzvmanlsjf4kt0000000000.webp

that definitely goes out of bounds

I am really starting to hate grey, esp grey floors
https://photos.zillowstatic.com/p_f/ISfkkt4ft62sbn1000000000.jpg

gray floors and walls with white shaker cabs and subway tile backsplash, never seen that combo before...

with those showers.... how does water not just get all over the place

That forced perspective giving me Malkovich vibes.

Oh that reminds me, I saw IRL two empty Adirondack chairs gazing out wistfully over a river. I want to go back and snap a photo. Owner was outside at the time so it would have seemed weird.