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he likes his rice like his politics

calzino, Thursday, 23 July 2020 20:28 (eight months ago) link

..blanched in his own mediocre tepid piss!

calzino, Thursday, 23 July 2020 20:30 (eight months ago) link

I don't really understand rice cookers, cooking rice is the easiest thing you can possibly do, I don't need another appliance in my kitchen

― Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver)

i have very, very high standards for rice. i eat rice 3-4 times a day, and i am a gringo cooking for a majority southeast-asian family. a rice cooker is THE device, not ANOTHER device. I use it more than my water pitcher, my stove, my oven. my rice cooker and wok together account for 80% of my calories. i revere good rice, and the zojirushi is my altar.

fwiw i have found that most people will eat bad rice and think it is good rice, or even make bad rice and kinda choke it down knowing that it ain't ideal. but my zojirushi always makes good rice and sings 'twinkle twinkle little star' to me when i put rice in to cook.

rb (soda), Thursday, 23 July 2020 20:43 (eight months ago) link

thank you, although mine isn't that good and only has on and start switches on it but still i get very good results

calzino, Thursday, 23 July 2020 20:48 (eight months ago) link

Even bad rice cookers make better rice than most home cooks! I had a $19 on/off rice cooker for years and it was great. This one has fuzzy logic features, so it makes the rice at the right texture even if you try to make bleary-eyed rice at 2am. It also keeps rice perfect for 2-3 days.

I really like this video, because I feel like Uncle Roger is speaking for me.

rb (soda), Thursday, 23 July 2020 20:52 (eight months ago) link

lol that extended version is even better!

calzino, Thursday, 23 July 2020 20:56 (eight months ago) link

I suppose if you eat it 4 times a day it makes sense but I probably eat it no more than once a day on average

I've had a cheap rice cooker in the past and it was fine I suppose, no better than on the hob imo

Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 23 July 2020 20:59 (eight months ago) link

i’ve recently started making basmati rice the right way - washing it, letting it soak, using the water it soaked in - and the fluffiness is out of this world. insane.

you guys are making me want a rice cooker i’m not gonna lie

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 23 July 2020 20:59 (eight months ago) link

washing rice is so essential, just like when you make chips and wash potatoes!

never mind the MSG where is the frigging soya sauce?

calzino, Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:01 (eight months ago) link

i have been told that cheap rice cookers suck and u might as well put it in the bin

plax (ico), Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:01 (eight months ago) link

Was it DW Winnicott who came up with the idea of 'good enough' rice? I'm with him.

Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:03 (eight months ago) link

talking to too many metropolitan elites plax!

calzino, Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:04 (eight months ago) link

IME they are finicky and you have to learn their gnostic ways, and there is a very short window of time in which the rice they produce is edible. You might have just six minutes to scoop out the rice before it becomes crystallized and/or gummy. (Usually both).

rb (soda), Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:05 (eight months ago) link

I thoroughly rinse my rice before putting it in the 30 quid rice cooker and make the water ratio lower to allow for the amount it has already absorbed, bingo!

calzino, Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:07 (eight months ago) link

the insufferable andrew graham-dixon has a 2-part series on rome on bbc four that i can’t help watching. i went there for the first time last year (only 2 days). he’s awful. probably my least favourite bbc presenter with the possible exception of stephen smith, the guy who does gormless “kooky” cultural packages to fill out the running time of newsnight.

anyway, he’s just read a link over some footage of some austere modern buildings in rome. here’s what he said.

“the most famous dictator in italy’s recent history was benito mussolini.”


Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:08 (eight months ago) link

that said the guy he’s with, georgio locatelli, is totally bananas and amazing

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:09 (eight months ago) link

Yeah but what are his views on rice? Is he a basmati man or a parboiled freak?

let them microwave their rice (gyac), Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:10 (eight months ago) link

have they cancelled Meades?

calzino, Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:11 (eight months ago) link

I love Andrew GD!

Gerneten-flüken cake (jed_), Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:13 (eight months ago) link

No-one is worse than Stephen Smith.

Sonny Shamrock (Tom D.), Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:18 (eight months ago) link

that rice video is horrifying.

Yerac, Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:34 (eight months ago) link

aw i kinda like Andrew GD even tho yeah he's too much sometimes, somehow he has an ASMR-ish effect on me at 2 in the morning

À la recherche du scamps perdu (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:35 (eight months ago) link

i can see glimpses of humanity there tbf to the poor fucker

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:39 (eight months ago) link

By the way, who is this ugly cunt and why does it seem like I'm seeing his face every time I turn on my telly?

Sonny Shamrock (Tom D.), Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:43 (eight months ago) link


one bit where uncle roger is wrong is, to make good egg fried rice you are best off using a carbon steel pan with very high temperature oil and it doesn't make a shit of difference if you use a metal spatula to toss that rice whilst it gets fried.

calzino, Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:48 (eight months ago) link

i believe he is a comedian of some sort Tom say no more

À la recherche du scamps perdu (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 23 July 2020 21:56 (eight months ago) link

bbc comedians aka the worst people in human existence since the paedophile nazi clique in the belle & sebastien fanclub

calzino, Thursday, 23 July 2020 22:00 (eight months ago) link

is this where we're talking about rice?

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 23 July 2020 22:52 (eight months ago) link

was looking for some hot rice on rice action

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 23 July 2020 22:52 (eight months ago) link

we're talking about rice everywhere #onethread

Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 23 July 2020 23:10 (eight months ago) link


Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 24 July 2020 05:20 (eight months ago) link


Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Friday, 24 July 2020 05:51 (eight months ago) link

that said the guy he’s with, georgio locatelli, is totally bananas and amazing

Giorgio Locatelli the chef? I have been meaning to go to his restaurant for years and am guessing it won't exist for much longer.

People are right that it's the bit where she rinses the rice off after draining it that's the most egregious offence. It means she hasn't washed it at the start and why wouldn't you do that?

Matt DC, Friday, 24 July 2020 07:34 (eight months ago) link

yes the chef. he’s like every positive cliche of italian men rolled into one - passionate, demonstrative, emotional, effortlessly good looking. during the show he makes a classic jewish-italian dish of chicken meatballs in tomato sauce and deep fried artichoke. and he rolls round to a deli stall where they get a kidney sandwich. best tour guide ever, basically.

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 24 July 2020 07:41 (eight months ago) link

People that don't wash rice are savage murderers, that much is beyond question. But washing it after cooking it is doesn't make any sense at all, it's like having a shower and then rolling about in a pigsty or something.

calzino, Friday, 24 July 2020 07:48 (eight months ago) link

this clumpy starchy mess that you've already boiled with far too much water can't be washed at this point, can only assume she is blanching it in the vain hope it won't clump together even more as it cools down! At home economics in school instead of teaching kids to fuck up some fancy flan they will never try again in their entire life they should just some simple rice module and give them some real survival skillz.

calzino, Friday, 24 July 2020 08:15 (eight months ago) link

There's a point where uncle roger references a finger knuckle joint method for measuring your water to rice ratio, I've looked this up elsewhere and I can't make the maths of it work in my head, what am I missing? Basically the theory is you put your rice in the pan (any quantity, any shape/size of pan), then rest the tip of your index finger on top of the rice and add enough water for the level to reach the first joint of your finger, and that will in theory mean your rice/water ratio is perfect. But how can that be right? Like, if my rice layer is only one or two grains deep the r/w ratio can't help be tons higher than it would've been if my rice layer was six inches deep, right?

JimD, Friday, 24 July 2020 10:50 (eight months ago) link

I have spent most of my life being terrible at cooking rice, but I'd at least have the self-awareness to be incredibly embarrassed at doing it like that on camera let alone for a cooking segment.

since buying a microwave rice cooker it's super easy although mine came with instructions where the measurements, which were in cups/ fl oz which I never use anyway, were clearly just translated from metric so it was 9.4oz rice and 14.2 fl oz water or something rather than nice round numbers. I eventually realised it was just enough water to cover the rice and then a little bit more so I just do that now and it works out fine. It's never been great for small amounts though e.g. for my kids do I still do that in the pan.

sometimes a bit of sludgy stuff boils over into the microwave but the rice in the basket is usually fine.

kinder, Friday, 24 July 2020 12:23 (eight months ago) link

I don't know about that finger method and have been using a rice cooker or a steel rice ball for years now, once uncle Roger gets into your head you don't want him taking the piss out of your hot rice-takes!

calzino, Friday, 24 July 2020 13:36 (eight months ago) link

xpost i don't use my finger, i rest my flat hand on top and make sure it's covered in water.

Yerac, Friday, 24 July 2020 13:58 (eight months ago) link

my biryani is not photogenic, nor one for the purists but it'll do for me!

calzino, Friday, 24 July 2020 14:58 (eight months ago) link

when a thread blows up and you're wondering if it's clusterfuck or food derail

rice chat has been good but I won't lie, I prefer a good clusterfuck

オニモ (onimo), Saturday, 25 July 2020 08:06 (eight months ago) link

There several other clusterfucks going on.

That biryani look right.

American Fear of Scampos (Ed), Saturday, 25 July 2020 08:16 (eight months ago) link

pic of red squirrel

What is causing the declines?

Different animals face different threats. The now Critically Endangered Scottish wildcat population has not recovered from decades of persecution and, for the red squirrel, disease and competition from introduced grey squirrels has driven a steep decline.

fuck off bbc

imago, Thursday, 30 July 2020 09:26 (eight months ago) link

all meaningful wildlife decline in the uk is caused by either human persecution or habitat loss

imago, Thursday, 30 July 2020 09:28 (eight months ago) link

Imagine how many do gooders will be outraged at the prospect of people shooting grey squirrels.

Theyd rather sacrifice the reds.

— Firearms-UK (@FirearmsUK) July 30, 2020

what a wholesome twitter account

imago, Thursday, 30 July 2020 09:32 (eight months ago) link

Imago, it goes on to say what you just said and that we need more habitat space.

Also: 'introduced' grey squirrels I think implies human agency.

the pinefox, Thursday, 30 July 2020 11:01 (eight months ago) link

it goes on to say that but look what it's foregrounding

imago, Thursday, 30 July 2020 11:06 (eight months ago) link

'introduced' implies we can shoot the greys no problem

imago, Thursday, 30 July 2020 11:06 (eight months ago) link

gonna complain about this bbc article which really shocked me today and i thought i was beyond being shocked by the bbc anymore.

"After a late-night vote went against the Conservative government in April 2016, Charlie Elphicke was drowning his sorrows by sharing a bottle of champagne with a parliamentary worker." is the beginning of an account of ELphicke's sexual assault against a parliamentary worker. Are there not guidelines for reporting sexual assault similar to how there are for suicide? I'm sure that beginning the article with contextually legitimising information around a sexual assault would contravene any such guidelines.

plax (ico), Thursday, 30 July 2020 22:02 (eight months ago) link

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