Joe Biden, Senator from Citibank (oops, DELAWARE), to Run for President

started writing a series of mystery novels where a retired joe biden solves murders in Delaware, punctuating his statements with folksy exhortations. ("listen jack!" being a catchphrase of sorts). on my 10th manuscript, no publisher.

"No Malarkey," by Tree S. Hip. Now a major motion picture starring Gary Sinise as Joe Biden

treeship that's quite an image.

good luck getting Sinise to play a liberal

Fair point. My first thought was George Peppard, but it turns out he's been dead for twenty years.

Perfect!

started writing a series of mystery novels where a retired joe biden solves murders in Delaware, punctuating his statements with folksy exhortations. ("listen jack!" being a catchphrase of sorts). on my 10th manuscript, no publisher.

well, yeah. someone beat you to it:
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/series/D42/obama-biden-mysteries

good luck getting Sinise to play a liberal

Oh, that's what Biden is! Been great at keeping it a secret.

xp: Behind the Bastards did a reading from one of those novels in today's episode

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/we-read-an-unbearably-thirsty-joe-69435764/?embed=true

well, yeah. someone beat you to it:
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/series/D42/obama-biden-mysteries

― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Tuesday, August 4, 2020 11:11 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

lmao

My favorite was Hope You Didn't Die From That Drone.

Vice President Joe Biden is fresh out of the Obama White House and feeling adrift when his favorite railroad conductor dies in a suspicious accident

spoiler: Hillary did it

His two most prized possessions are his Medal of Freedom and a Sig Sauer pistol, which he calls his “bean shooter.” At one point he gives himself the alias Joe Tingler, to Obama’s distress. He refers to his legs as “getaway sticks,” complains that the weather is “as nasty as a devil’s armpit,” and says, “I’m so hungry I could eat the balls off a low-flying goose.”

Low-Flying Goose for Secy of Agriculture

Ha well I guess that’s that

Rep. Karen Bass, on Biden’s VP shortlist, eulogized her “friend and mentor” in Congressional Record remarks, mentioning his long progressive record but eliding his Communist Party membership https://t.co/PwzIr4qioC

— Marc Caputo (@MarcACaputo) August 4, 2020

Since when are communist party members capable of friendship?

she's trying to hide from Angela Lansbury

There's been a lot of talk about my vetting process lately. Here’s an inside look: pic.twitter.com/tFRKJOE3hi

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) August 5, 2020

It sure would be awful if the Trump campaign responded with a five-minute video of America's Big Strong Boy honking an 18-wheeler's horn in the White House driveway.

I couldn't stand the deification of Biden with this Onion approach a decade ago, but it will work now, and I don't give a damn.

"Biden addressed calls to defund the police while speaking at a virtual fundraiser hosted by Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms (D).

"I don't want to defund police," Biden said. "I want to get police more money in order to deal with the things they badly need, from making sure they have access to community policing, that they have also in the departments social workers, psychologists, people who in fact can handle those god-awful problems that a cop has to have four degrees to handle."

There have been some calls on the left to “defund the police” following the police killing of George Floyd that sparked nationwide protests and national discussions on race."

i have heard of these calls to defund the police

Where does Joe Biden stand on ACAB?

Everyone: “Defund the police!”

Joe Biden: I hear you. I will put more money in de fund for the police

— Ahmaud Arbery (@thecoolliterati) June 10, 2020

When life imitates art

"I want to get police more money in order to deal with the things they badly need, from making sure they have access to community policing, that they have also in the departments social workers, psychologists, people who in fact can handle those god-awful problems that a cop has to have four degrees to handle."

Seattle City Council today managed to have the Seattle Police Department's executive salaries cut for 2020.

Nine of the 13 executives will, under these cuts, be paid more then 49 states' governors.

Where does Joe Biden stand on ACAB?

He thinks it's one of the better Genesis albums

lol

that they have also in the departments social workers, psychologists, people who in fact can handle those god-awful problems that a cop has to have four degrees to handle."

Oh, yes, Joe! The very best public system to oversee the work of social workers and psychologists is to make them a subsidiary interest of police departments. Good thinking there.

"put down your books, shrink. pick up this taser. you'll need it"

I’m not saying people should not vote for him but I wonder if any of the...principals (or “will of the voter”, pick your euphemism) have a bit of buyer’s remorse that this is the line the handpicked challenger to trump takes, given...this particular moment

especially since trump's line of attack is "radical left-wing anarchist" like I wish man

tbh it just shows the craven centrism of the Dems and the absolutely batshit religious ethnofascism of the Repubs even more...like blah blah overton window blah, but it really *has* moved so far to the right that even policies that are popular with the voting public are shot down because they're supposedly too radical.

Biden’s core message really is “c’mon man! Geez” which I think @ByYourLogic pointed out pic.twitter.com/qBd3ffQlcw

— sai (@TrashBoySai) August 5, 2020

that bit in the car video where he goes "God could my dad drive a car. Oof" had me in stitches yesterday

Where does Joe Biden stand on ACAB?

He thinks it's one of the better Genesis albums

― chasing rimbauds (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, August 6, 2020 3:08 PM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Come on now, Joe Biden is much too sensible to listen to that sort of trendy longhair hippy music.

Biden knows all the words to Bad Company's "Feel Like Makin' Love," though.

christ almighty that clip. i feel bad for him :/

I feel bad for the populace

plz god let the VP pick be under the age of 60

If (most of us) survived a full bowl of shit for 4 years, half a bowl of shit should be a... well...

Yeah but the shit is going to be radioactive instead of just shit so lol us

Big reason why I hope they don't pick Warren, as much as I like her

The monkey's paw curls... VP Pete Buttigieg

be careful what u joke about

Might be entertaining to watch Buttigieg suffer for four years if Biden's brains don't melt out of his ears and Pete is Dan Quayle-d forever.

don't worry pete will be attracting insufferable, like-minded sycophants at notre dame

.@JoeBiden: “Unlike the African-American community, with notable exceptions, the Latino community is an incredibly diverse community" pic.twitter.com/CFO4Q40jEI

— Tom Elliott (@tomselliott) August 6, 2020

He should not be allowed to speak in public. Just post a photo every so often to prove he's still alive.

"One word from Clyburn and a certain demo snapped to it!"

I can see where Biden may have had a reasonable thought hidden inside that poorly expressed, to the point of idiocy, statement. Maybe what he was thinking, but washed all sense out of, is the idea that the overwhelming majority of African-Americans in the USA are descendants of slaves brought the USA prior to 1850, which makes them very long-term multi-generational Americans. as opposed to recent immigrants. The Latino community, otoh, contains members from every Latin American nation, which represents a really wide diversity of cultures as different as Cuba, El Salvador, Mexico, Puerto Rico, or Chile.

There's a lot of scrabble pieces rattling around in his skull