Joe Biden, Senator from Citibank (oops, DELAWARE), to Run for President

Swolecialism, everyone works out hard at a cooperatively-owned gym in order to have the physical fitness to fight through the post-apocalyptic wasteland

I like it

morbs was probably making a joke about the band

― beaky joshing shamanic part-angster (sic)

you know i had completely forgotten that band existed

just when i thought my day couldn't get worse

Swolecialism, everyone works out hard at a cooperatively-owned gym in order to have the physical fitness to fight through the post-apocalyptic wasteland

― Donald Trump Also Sucks, Of Course (milo z), Saturday, August 15, 2020 3:08 PM (fifteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I like it

― unpaid intern at the darvo institute (Simon H.)

wear a mask imo

i'm going to begin my film script where rushomancy and i go on a road trip, then i'll be a broken socialist scenarist

^ good one

i'm going to begin my film script where rushomancy and i go on a road trip, then i'll be a broken socialist scenarist

― brooklyn suicide cult (Dr Morbius)

just when i thought my day couldn't get worse

Swolecialism, everyone works out hard at a cooperatively-owned gym in order to have the physical fitness to fight through the post-apocalyptic wasteland

― Donald Trump Also Sucks, Of Course (milo z), Saturday, August 15, 2020 12:08 PM (twenty-seven minutes ago)

uh, that's called "preparing for Burning Man"

Condoms and drugs will also be collectively owned.

by your mom

quality Biden content! thanks y'all!

well what a concept THAT is

Who's Ridin' Biden?

your mom?

wtf I love this thread now

If we can keep dropping yo momma jokes till November it may yet make up for everything that preceded itt.

dropped yo momma years ago tbh

Don't want to give yourself a hernia.

do not fatshame my mom, doucheface!

she may be obese but her blood pressure and cholesterol are exceptionally healthy for a woman of her age and size

Yo momma is like Joe Biden
Never in the hole

Your mom is like Citibank, everybody lining up for her on payday!

Your mother is so indebted to the fracking industry she gives *them* gas

I don’t know what that means

^one for the Biden sticker

i think it has to do with farting

you say that about everything though

no, forks, only your mom

your momma's so stank, she got a sourdough yeast infection!

sara, my mom was going to pick up that casserole pan from you, she appreciated the nice note about the recipe... but following your very mean post, i now feel like maybe she needs to better understand where you're coming from as a person. please text before five so we can work this out.

speaking of horribly formed ...

okay, i'm screenshotting this and passing it along; i think you can forget about that cobbler you asked for.

speaking of cobblers

what a horribly formed "corn" said the podiatrist.

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, March 16, 2010 5:49 AM (ten years ago)

https://www.elle.com/culture/career-politics/a33549416/cardi-b-joe-biden-interview/

*ctrl + f 'wap' = not found*

Not reading this.

I thought Cardi was a friend of the working class not a neoliberal shill. Sad!

cardi for president

Cardi 2020: A _________ in every _________.

Macaroni in every pot

goop in every grinch

read that as "a grope"

an okurrr in every pot

he did say "Most cops are good" tonight, missing the point for the 9000th time.

it takes 8999 bad apples to spoil a barrel, iirc

Cardi B interviews Joe Biden for Elle.

JB: You know the nickname (his daughter) gave me when she was growing up? She called me Joey B. So we may be related.

CB: And also what I want is free Medicare. It’s important to have free because look what is happening right now. [...] And I want Black people to stop getting killed and no justice for it. I’m tired of it. I’m sick of it. I just want laws that are fair to Black citizens and that are fair for cops, too. If you kill somebody who doesn’t have a weapon on them, you go to jail. You know what? If I kill somebody, I’ve got to go to jail. You gotta go to jail, too. That’s what I want.

JB: Presidents have to take responsibility. I understand one of your favorite presidents is Franklin Roosevelt. Roosevelt said the American people can take anything if you tell them the truth. Sometimes the truth is hard. But right now, we’re in a position where we have an opportunity to make so much progress. The American public has had the blinders taken off.

CB: It’s so sad that a pandemic had to happen so people could open their eyes and see what type of person they are dealing with. [...] One day he’s telling them this is nothing, that people need to stop getting tested. Next thing you know, a mask [on his] face. Really playing games. And it’s crazy that all of this had to happen so they could open their eyes to the past four years.

JB: Well, it doesn’t have to happen. In 2016, if 18- to 24-year-olds had voted in the same percentage as the rest of the population, there would have been 5.2 million more votes. We wouldn’t have him; we would have had Hillary Clinton.

CB: A lot of fans are concerned about free college and Medicare, especially now that people are getting sick left and right. Sometimes people have problems in their community. For example, a lot of after-school programs that I [had] growing up, [are] no more in my hood. Why is that?

JB: I’m the guy that put in those after-school programs. I was able to get $20 billion more boys and girls clubs. But what happened? Everything was getting better — this was when crime was going down — so, “We don’t have to pay for this anymore.” Because people didn’t want to pay the taxes for it. And that’s why this “government is bad” has been such a downer for things that really matter to you and me.

As a single dad when my wife and daughter got killed—I had two boys who survived the accident—I couldn’t afford child care. I didn’t have the money for someone to take care of my kids. Thank God, I had my sister and my brother and my mother, who helped me.

CB: I feel like this country is so hurt, to the point that this year, a lot of people couldn’t even celebrate July 4th, because not everybody feels like an American. A lot of people feel like [they’re] not even part of America.

JB: Look, I’m a lot older than you, to state the obvious. When I was in high school, the civil rights movement was just being started, and along came Bull Connor and his dogs. He thought he was going to drive a wooden stake into the heart of the civil rights movement. But when all those folks saw what was happening in the South, they saw Bull Connor with dogs, elderly Black women going to church and kids being knocked down with fire hoses — all of a sudden, as Dr. King said, we had the second emancipation. We had the Voting Rights Act and we had the Civil Rights Act. It changed things because people said, “Oh my God, that’s happening.” The cell phone has changed America. Because we’re at a point where some brave kid can stand there for a total of 8 minutes and 46 seconds and take a [video] of a Black man brutally murdered. And people around the world were saying, “My God. This really happens?” And now they’re demanding change.

CB: And you know, I feel like Black people, we’re not asking for sympathy, we’re not asking for charity — we are just asking for equality. We are asking for fairness, and we are asking for justice. That is all. I feel like everything people are asking for is getting interpreted in a very different way. No, it’s simple: We just want justice. We want to feel like Americans.

JB: Well, I’ll tell you what. I have a friend in Mississippi, Bennie Thompson, a very well-known congressman, an African American. He called me two weeks ago. He said, “Joe, I just came from a protest. There were as many white kids marching as Black kids. This is Mississippi, Joe. Things are changing.” The reason I’m so optimistic is because of your generation. You’re the smartest, the best educated, the least prejudiced, and the most engaged generation in history. And you’re going to change things. I really mean it! I’m not trying to be nice. And by the way, the rest of the world has always looked to us. Why? Not because we’re so powerful. But the power of our example. Look what they’re seeing now with this president. He’s promoting hatred, prejudice, racism. Talking about protecting the Confederate flag when Mississippi takes it off their flag. This is all about the game of making people hate each other. Because that’s how he wins, by dividing us. Your generation is changing it.

CB: I know [Cardi's generation] are so eager to make money, to look a certain way, to have style, celebrity gossip. And it’s like, why don’t we make a change for real and vote?

JB: In the primaries, they kept saying, “Well, you know, there aren’t that many people voting, Biden’s not going to excite anybody.” We had the largest turnout in the primaries ever. Seventy percent more people voted in Virginia, 40 percent more people in Mississippi, 30 percent more in South Carolina. People are ready. And let me tell you something: The American people have never, ever, ever let their country down.

CB: Because let me tell you about my college experience. I’m from New York, and when you’re in high school or middle school, they give you a free MetroCard for you to be able to get to your school, and they gave me free lunch. When I was in college, I didn’t get any more transportation. So I had to get a job, because I needed $5 every single day to be able to go from Washington Heights to Chambers Street. And I had to feed myself. Sometimes I had to wait from 1 p.m. all the way to 9 p.m. to get home to eat. Because I couldn’t afford McDonald’s or any restaurants on my break. I was starving, and I felt so discouraged. So I just feel like that is so important, to finance students while they’re in college.

But what a lot of people are concerned about is, if the government gives us [these things], are they going to raise our taxes? Because clearly nobody wants to pay so much in taxes. Sometimes, when my taxes come in, I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I’m depressed, oh Lord, let me see my Birkin collection.” That is a little joke. [But] when you see the taxes coming off your check, you don’t understand, because you feel like you’re putting in so many hours. People want to know, can you provide college education, this [health care] plan, without a big chunk of taxes coming out of our checks?

JB: Yes, we can. And the way we can pay for all of this is doing practical things, like making sure that everybody has to pay their fair share. [For example] no corporation should pay less than 15 percent tax.

Pre-recorded answers that don't say anything to honest questions? Yes?

He's committing to free community college, I guess that's something.

Her generation are the ones who are enacting change like never before, just as the original civil rights fighters did, and the young people are voting in bigger numbers than ever, and the American people have never ever ever let America down, but the young people gave us President Trump because not enough of them voted.

The lack of media literacy programs in American schools also contributed to a lack of needed voter turnout

time for McDonald's to whip out their "Toxic Chicken McNugget" program