Things you were shockingly old when you learned

Ewwww

A marrow is just an old courgette

I learned shockingly late that you shouldn't stick a Q-tip into your ear canal (even though the package clearly states not to). Now I've cut back to about once a week, and boy is it satisfying.

Ugh oh god if I only cleaned my ears once a week it’d be horrific.

The side of the Q-Tip box lists a bunch of uses but conspicuously *not* sticking them in your ear. Because you should never stick anything smaller than your elbow in your ear.

Pineapple bidet?

B-side to "Raspberry Beret?" I've had more problems with pineapples getting overripe than being underripe. I had one that even started audibly hissing and oozing on the counter. By the time they make it here I think they're often pretty far gone.

I'm a recovering qtip addict. Recently had temporary hearing loss from it which spurred me to kick the habit.

I always point the shower head into my ears and taht seems to keep the canals pretty clear. Had to have them syringed a few times years ago.
Probably find out this isn't the best idea but does seem to work. Thankfully had a decently high power shower for the last few years.

xxp I assume taht's why they tend to ship them under ripe in my experience.
Assume its also people who don't know as much about the fruit controlling the distribution. BUt not sure how long it would take a pineapple to turn if it was set up for shipping closer to optimum ripeness. Just have heard taht that is something people do with other plant products so assume it is something they do wuith these too.
But of course different plant products act in different ways.

I just clean my ears out with rubbing alcohol every once in a while, but it's really only a problem if I'm going through a period of extensive headphone usage.

What is it with the "elbow" bit of the qtip revelation? It's the most irritating "well actually" around. Is there a utility of an elbow in the ear? What approximately elbow sized things are people putting "in" their ears as a matter of course? Why isn't it just "don't put anything in your ear"?

I think the joke is that you literally can't bend your arm to even try to fit your elbow in your ear, but it's funny to watch people try.

Pretty good. That much was obvious to me, so I had the missus put her elbow in my ear which was hardly edifying.

What's wrong with a good tongue in the ear anyways?

Actually, are elbows even a thing?

When I was a teenager, the end of a qtip came off while I was cleaning my ear and I had to go to the hospital to have it removed.

(Unrelatedly) I once had to have an ear syringed and the doctor said that using qtips can exacerbate a blocked ear by inadvertantly jamming the wax in there.

Yeah, it's like a ramrod.

I assume my hearing loss was due to blockage. I just used over-the-counter liquid fizzy stuff that cleared it out.

soda water?

carbamide peroxide

yeah I used to use special ear drops from the store due to my psoriasis and constant earwax buildup.

there was one summer where I basically couldn't hear out of either ear due to solidified balls of earwax

Worth mentioning that youtube is full of impacted earwax extraction videos and they are all extremely disgusting.

I find it hilarious that there are so many people who have not the slightest idea how to safely and properly use a cotton swab to gently wipe gunk out of their ear.

kind of sad, but mostly lol

Cotton swabs are illegal in the UK for a reason. Canada will follow suit next year.

whole countries of people who can’t be trusted with q-tips

THEY WERE ORIGINALLY CALLED “BABY GAYS.” Polish inventor Leo Gerstenzang was struck by the idea of a mass-produced swab when he saw his wife stick cotton balls on both ends of a toothpick and use the makeshift tool to clean out their child's ears.

my doctor got angry if he heard I aws using Q-Tips, cos he told me i was mashing wax deeper into my ear.

Yeah the assumption seems to be that what everyone does is take the swab and try to fuck the shit out of their ear canal with it.

And apparently many people do exactly that!

I don't think it's a technique issue, it's just not a great thing to do to your ears

their being made illegal is presumably due to the hugely wasteful aspect rather than the danger to ears

https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/XyqSa7Hhi9khb5cGHSwyU-DadIU=/0x0:2040x1360/1400x933/filters:focal(857x517:1183x843):no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/56698297/main_1200_copy.0.jpg

Landfills nationwide struggling to find the room to store tiny pieces of cardboard and cotton

Cotton swabs are illegal in the UK for a reason.

The reason being that they're not. Plastic-stemmed ones were phased out from April this year but any other stem type is fine.

I p much thought what Tombot does until years of ever so slightly compacting the wax caught up to me

the resultant paste in yr ear

If you're trying to remove wax - and not push it deeper in - the right tool is more like a tiny spoon. This is what our children's doctors use. You slide it around the obstruction, loosening it from the walls of the ear canal. Then scoop it outward toward freedom.

Like a grapefruit spoon?

Has anyone ever used an ear candle?

Thread precis: don't

Moodles, more like a cocaine spoon for tiny Stevie Nickses

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/jcsAAOSwdvxdwt5t/s-l400.jpg

Yeah that looks TOTALLY safe.

"But you don't understand officer, this spoon is for my ear wax!"

Dr. Yu-Tung Wong knows what's up:

https://www.cedars-sinai.org/blog/is-it-really-dangerous-to-clean-my-ears-with-cotton-swabs.html

resorting to arguments from authority are we

Well…

next you'll resort to scientifically-proven facts and peer-reviewed studies

Exactly, it’s obvious where this is going.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbQAXEpfcYA

q-tip’s too severe, kickin’ mad flava in ya ear

stick my dick in your ear and fuck what you heard

lol breastcrawl