Things you were shockingly old when you learned

What is it with the "elbow" bit of the qtip revelation? It's the most irritating "well actually" around. Is there a utility of an elbow in the ear? What approximately elbow sized things are people putting "in" their ears as a matter of course? Why isn't it just "don't put anything in your ear"?

I think the joke is that you literally can't bend your arm to even try to fit your elbow in your ear, but it's funny to watch people try.

Pretty good. That much was obvious to me, so I had the missus put her elbow in my ear which was hardly edifying.

What's wrong with a good tongue in the ear anyways?

Actually, are elbows even a thing?

When I was a teenager, the end of a qtip came off while I was cleaning my ear and I had to go to the hospital to have it removed.

(Unrelatedly) I once had to have an ear syringed and the doctor said that using qtips can exacerbate a blocked ear by inadvertantly jamming the wax in there.

Yeah, it's like a ramrod.

I assume my hearing loss was due to blockage. I just used over-the-counter liquid fizzy stuff that cleared it out.

soda water?

carbamide peroxide

yeah I used to use special ear drops from the store due to my psoriasis and constant earwax buildup.

there was one summer where I basically couldn't hear out of either ear due to solidified balls of earwax

Worth mentioning that youtube is full of impacted earwax extraction videos and they are all extremely disgusting.

I find it hilarious that there are so many people who have not the slightest idea how to safely and properly use a cotton swab to gently wipe gunk out of their ear.

kind of sad, but mostly lol

Cotton swabs are illegal in the UK for a reason. Canada will follow suit next year.

whole countries of people who can’t be trusted with q-tips

THEY WERE ORIGINALLY CALLED “BABY GAYS.” Polish inventor Leo Gerstenzang was struck by the idea of a mass-produced swab when he saw his wife stick cotton balls on both ends of a toothpick and use the makeshift tool to clean out their child's ears.

my doctor got angry if he heard I aws using Q-Tips, cos he told me i was mashing wax deeper into my ear.

Yeah the assumption seems to be that what everyone does is take the swab and try to fuck the shit out of their ear canal with it.

And apparently many people do exactly that!

I don't think it's a technique issue, it's just not a great thing to do to your ears

their being made illegal is presumably due to the hugely wasteful aspect rather than the danger to ears

https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/XyqSa7Hhi9khb5cGHSwyU-DadIU=/0x0:2040x1360/1400x933/filters:focal(857x517:1183x843):no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/56698297/main_1200_copy.0.jpg

Landfills nationwide struggling to find the room to store tiny pieces of cardboard and cotton

Cotton swabs are illegal in the UK for a reason.

The reason being that they're not. Plastic-stemmed ones were phased out from April this year but any other stem type is fine.

I p much thought what Tombot does until years of ever so slightly compacting the wax caught up to me

the resultant paste in yr ear

If you're trying to remove wax - and not push it deeper in - the right tool is more like a tiny spoon. This is what our children's doctors use. You slide it around the obstruction, loosening it from the walls of the ear canal. Then scoop it outward toward freedom.

Like a grapefruit spoon?

Has anyone ever used an ear candle?

Thread precis: don't

Moodles, more like a cocaine spoon for tiny Stevie Nickses

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/jcsAAOSwdvxdwt5t/s-l400.jpg

Yeah that looks TOTALLY safe.

"But you don't understand officer, this spoon is for my ear wax!"

Dr. Yu-Tung Wong knows what's up:

https://www.cedars-sinai.org/blog/is-it-really-dangerous-to-clean-my-ears-with-cotton-swabs.html

resorting to arguments from authority are we

Well…

next you'll resort to scientifically-proven facts and peer-reviewed studies

Exactly, it’s obvious where this is going.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbQAXEpfcYA

q-tip’s too severe, kickin’ mad flava in ya ear

stick my dick in your ear and fuck what you heard

lol breastcrawl

pour a Belgian quad in yr ear. might not help but it's a cool way to drink it

i had a wax buildup problem after shoving sony earbuds in my ears for years. i went to the ear doctor to get it removed because it got so bad. i have only recently realized that you can do exactly what they did at home with debrox and an ear douche. you squirt the debrox in and let it bubble while laying on your side for 15 minutes then shoot warm water into your ear canal with the douche. the debrox feels like pop rocks tickling your brain and then you get to shoot the little asteroid of wax out of your ear with the douche. the whole process is immensely satisfying.

that the ingredients of Greek Fire is still a military state secret that went to the grave with the Byzantine Empire. Not that it couldn't be recreated, just that still nobody knows really what ingredients they used back then.

that Meshuggah re-recorded the guitars and drums from 2002's Nothing album. using 8 strings that weren't available when originally recorded.

I have long lost my old 2002 copy of Nothing but I'm sure I could a/b test it on youtube as someone's bound to have it.

Greece only legalized cremation last year, and there's currently only one place in Greece you can get it done. Greeks who wanted to be cremated have had to arrange to have their remains sent abroad.

wow, that's...nuts.

found out last year that there are only a handful of places around Ireland that cremate. A frioend's brother died then had to be shipped down country to be cremated.
Always just assume its just an alternative in ways to be treated after death not that its so rare i places. Think there was something like 7 places across Ireland cremating.

xxp when I was a young adult I got tired of having to resort extreme measures to get wax build-up out of my ears. I learned that if I ran water into my ears during my shower at least once or twice a week and then afterwards used q-tips to gently run along the insides of my external auditory canals (being VERY careful not to go too far in), I could avoid that.

not sure I recommend this to everyone, but my whole family uses this technique and have had no problem with it. I think the key is running water into your ears first. I had to get a feel for it. It seems like the wax tends to express itself over time to the outer margins of the EACs and if you clean them regularly there isn’t a problem

debrox and an ear douche. you squirt the debrox in and let it bubble while laying on your side for 15 minutes then shoot warm water into your ear canal with the douche

This concept seems so horrifying to me I am getting PTSD from the thought.