most erotic phrase uttered by these SUPER MARIO BROS. (1993) action figures

bummed i overlooked the poll, i actually finally watched the movie a couple weeks ago! it's worse than all of this thread's discoveries would suggest. and boy there's a lot of fungus.

Top result is proof positive you can't trust the fungus.

Xpost Italian Americans played by a Brit and a Colombian/Puerto Rican is what the world always wanted.

"I got arrested for being a plumber!" was p funny tho

ughhhh

iirc that sequence revolves around Mojo Nixon being arrested and turned into a Goomba (read: large uniformed soldier with a small lizard head) for singing an anti-Koopa protest song. "Hey! You can't arrest somebody, just for singin' a song!"

I love the Goombahs, who were the tall green dinosaurs we all loved and remembered from the video game

this thread inspired me to rewatch the movie, which i looooooooooooooved as a kid

it's not good but it's amazing, ykwim

yes

the special effects hold up and the scale of the set design is massive and yet it's still just really ugly

i do appreciate that i "get" the new york interborough jabs in the movie now

the LA Times's behind-the-scenes coverage at the time is a must-read. Many are hoping Joffe will step in and cut the fungus.

the special effects hold up and the scale of the set design is massive and yet it's still just really ugly

this lines up w my memories of it yes

yeah to me it is one of the best/worst cases of post-Batman, pre-CGI, pre-"franchise" moviemaking of this kind. SO much design, SO much sets and costumes and set-pieces... trying to be Batman, trying to be Home Alone and Hook and Roger Rabbit, but with no worthwhile story or characters. to be clear, it's nice that there's not a safe, branded, studio-managed taste-o-meter dictating everything, it means we have this unique failed artifact, and not just a lame and mostly forgettable attempt at a video game adaptation, or the smoothed-out, harmlessly on-brand, B-minus or C-plus franchise product we'd probably get today. but GOD it's weird and boring. David Sims makes a similar case at The Atlantic.

i do think the mario/luigi banter is still genuinely funny. movie's got jokes! (in a refreshing and way less self-aware way than, say, marvel movies have jokes, so maybe that's the spirit in which i enjoyed them) but yes it's fundamentally weird and boring

far moreso than most licensed films, it'd be so fascinating to set it in front of someone who had never heard of "Super Mario" and just say "hey, this is a new adventure film for kids of all ages, tell me what you think." god knows how it registered to the surprisingly small number of parents dragged to see it in 1993. two to three years earlier it would have obviously been at least as big as the Ninja Turtles movies and probably bigger. i mean this seemed pretty realistic at the time:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU80R7jGanE

I saw the movie when I was 8 (I think). it fucking terrified me

my favorite thing is how everyone in the side-universe dinosaur manhattan inexplicably hates plumbers

plumber alert

wasn't that because Koopa had already gotten word that he was after two plumbers to get back the precious meteorite shard?

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fs-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F736x%2Fe4%2F94%2F7d%2Fe4947d6a85c7aee467de7ba1c1ccc07e--crazy-suits-king-koopa.jpg&f=1&nofb=1

the part in the end where the mayor (?) says "I think we'll call you the SUPER Mario brothers!" is legitimately hilarious though

wasn't that because Koopa had already gotten word that he was after two plumbers to get back the precious meteorite shard?

― Doctor Casino, Thursday, October 1, 2020 7:34 AM (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

listen, keeping track of... events... in the film super mario bros..... near impossible

worth checking out the soundtrack too https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108255/soundtrack

http://www.smbmovie.com/SMBArchive/pics/merchandise/cards/skybox/008_card_back.png

http://www.smbmovie.com/SMBArchive/pics/merchandise/cards/skybox/082_card_back.png

http://www.smbmovie.com/SMBArchive/pics/merchandise/cards/skybox/020_card_back.png

courtesy the charmingly old-school Super Mario Bros. The Movie Archive

lol I have that on tape and it's sitting on my desk at work. always funny to see the young'uns look at it and go "wait, there was a Mario movie?"

starting to wonder if there’s any mario merch that’s not profoundly erotic
https://i.imgur.com/qhTzTxr.jpg

it'sa me, thicc Mario

"we're going in!!"

today i learned that nintendo cancelled ron jeremy long before the rest of the world did

Porn comes in every shape and, er, size. So, it should really come as no surprise that there is not one, but TWO Super Mario parody pornos floating around out there.

The video game-inspired adult films, entitled Super Hornio Brothers and Super Hornio Brothers 2 (yes, I'm serious) feature the talents of none other than Ron Jeremy himself. The features were originally intended to be one film, but were split into two movies due to a lengthy running time. The movies follow the adventures of Squeegie (Ron Jeremy) and Ornio (T.T. Boy) as they attempt to rescue Princess Perlina (Chelsea Lynx) from King Pooper (Buck Adams).

Plus, you know. Lots of sex.

It sounds like a regular Citizen Kane, doesn't it?

Despite the bizarre premise, the porno itself is not the highlight of this story.

The film(s) were released around the same time as the Super Mario Bros. movie, which starred Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo as Mario and Luigi, respectively. The thing is, the Super Marios Bros. movie totally tanked. So, after such a rough experience with the film industry, it's presumed that Nintendo became a little more cautious with its licensing. So, it bought Super Hornio Brothers and Super Hornio Brothers 2.

Yep. Nintendo purchased to rights to TWO adult movies.

According to Ron Jeremy's own website, this explains why the movies are almost impossible to find now:

Some of you may be wondering why it is that we, Ron Jeremy’s Official Website, do not offer Super Hornio Brothers or Super Hornio Brothers 2 within our massive library of Ron Jeremy videos. The simple answer is “Nintendo”. After Super Hornio Brothers was produced, the Nintendo corporation bought the rights to the films in order to halt their distribution indefinitely. Otherwise, we would 100% offer up Super Hornio Brothers for streaming glory.

Basically, Nintendo was so intent on preventing the release of a porno which bore even a remote resemblance to its video game universe, that it actually purchased the rights to both Super Hornio Brothers and Super Hornio Brothers 2. And then buried them forever.

my new year’s resolution is to trust the fungus

nobody touches my tools!!