Joe Biden, Senator from Citibank (oops, DELAWARE), to Run for President

Look, just because I went to Oberlin...

(points at ttitt) Hah! Aha! (points again) Oberlin! (nods crazily, starts to chuckle quietly) An Oberliner! Yup! Now I see...table went to Oberlin. (pounds fist into open palm) Damn! (exits stage left, mumbling happily)

Amazing how a simple if stupid joke can be taken so poorly by someone two decades my senior.

poorly?

ironic

don't you think

I graduated from that notorious madhouse of artsy radicals, The Evergreen State College. If anyone understands Oberlin's snickersome reputation vs. its reality, it's a Geoduck from TESC.

i went to the university of your mom

I went to Your Mom State and lemme tell ya, I graduated magna cum loud!!!

what was yr major?

they don't call 'em Alma Mater for nothing

I double majored... B.A. in T and B.S. in A!!!

shouldn't that be Magnum Cum Loud ?

there ain't no 'majoring' at TESC. we learn. we do things. but we don't do credentialing.

uh, I was asking the graduates of Your Mom University and Your Mom State, not you, Aimless

contrary to popular belief, they do in fact have grades at Evergreen State:

Awesome job rolling this marijuana joint, dude!
Bonghits before class? Don't mind if I do!
C'mon man, put down that book and let's go smoke a giant doobie!
Don't think I'll go to class today, or even think at all!
Fuck it, pack another bowl!

omg -- great use of hidden text!

In my day the usual joke was that your mom graduated cum loudly

lol, your mom enjoys sexual intercourse in a healthy way

my name is forks and i'm here to say

signs you might be an 80's baby

that doesn't rhyme, booed off of the Apollo

that's hard to swallow

Iceclovestofu

very much biden our time here
i may need to go offline for the homestretch week. i'm jittery.

Iceclovestofu

All right stop, collaborate and listen

Check out the hook while my dj revolves it

New: Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have released a statement on the fatal shooting of Walter Wallace Jr. by police in Philadelphia. pic.twitter.com/x3KGKl7q9c

— Holly Otterbein (@hollyotterbein) October 27, 2020

Same old liberal BS comparing some broken windows and cops grazed by water bottles to the structural, systemic violence of white supremacy.

Same old liberals wouldn’t be half as bad as Biden. In this moment, even Hillary would be able to muster something better than “looting is bad.”

honestly after the last 40 years in America, Americans below middle class income should be able to loot any business of their choosing every day for an entire year decade

Not only was the secondary "anger is worse than the police killing" paragraph in that statement longer than the initial "sorry to u mans an dem" paragraph, Biden has now bumped it up to the top:

#BREAKING: Joe Biden speaks on Philadelphia unrest.

Reporter: "What do you say to Philadelphia residents that are outraged by yet another unarmed Black man being shot by police?"

Biden: "What I say is that there is no excuse whatsoever for the looting and the violence." pic.twitter.com/9ffWy1oBQG

— The Hill (@thehill) October 28, 2020

Reporter: "What do you say to Philadelphia residents that are outraged by yet another unarmed Black man being shot by police?"

Biden: "What I say is WILL you plebs just SHUT THE FUCK UP about police brutalising and murdering you in the streets. FFS!"

Exciting stuff, would vote for if I was American.

I’m black. I’m a cop. I’ve also had hours of de-escalation training.

With that said:

No matter your color, mental status, prior condition, or mood, if you run at me with a knife, I will shoot you. Many times.

The end. #Philadelphia #phillyriots #BlueLivesMatter

— Zeek Arkham (Insubordinate and churlish) (@CopWithAttitude) October 27, 2020

maybe the Joe Biden who thinks that the entirety of US policing has been irreparably tainted by violent lawlessness should have a word with the Joe Biden who thinks that increasing their funding will slightly reduce the amount of murders they do

Entire hours of de-escalation training? Impressive

Fucking grim

Must be horrible to have a president who openly encourages psychos like zeek to commit acts of terror, hopefully in a few days you guys can replace him with... oh

I'm white, I'm a citizen, and I don't care what color or sexual orientation you are, if you're a cop, you're a piece of shit and deserve nothing but the absolute depths of scorn.

Honestly, that's the core of it. Just as anyone who genuinely wants political power should in a sane system be forever barred from running for office, you can't trust cops, ultimately, because...they chose to be cops. With all that that entails.

Biden really has that "something out of Robocop" quality to me that is like half demoralizing because Robocop is dystopian, but also half reassuring, because Robocop was a 1980s dystopia which is somewhat nostalgic as opposed to the one we're in now? #trenchant

I don't think all cops are pieces of shit, but I do think that cops who call themselves @CopWithAttitude on twitter do tend to have noticeably higher levels of attitude

I feel like having a social handle like @1baddkkkopp or a vanity plate like 1cop1gun should be fireable offenses

it’s just shocking to me how cowed all the ‘good cops’ are. seems like it would be a good time to want to separate yourself from the large contingent of openly white supremacist bloodthirsty thugs that have infiltrated LE from top to bottom

That's because there are no good cops.

xp firefighters too. so many of them are just total douchebags. racist, dumb tattoos, all that. and don't even get me started on how long it takes them to put out the dang fires!

bingo

Xpost

if workers in this country had 1/20 the solidarity of racist cops...

xp burrito -- firefighters are nowhere near the douchebags that fire inspectors are ... they are almost all wannabe cops

The good cops have already quit the force, shame hanging over them for that part of their life. Just going by internet confessionals...

why would we go by anything else