Twitter C/D

RIP ira, a Twitter personality I do not hate. A beautiful sacrifice:

Ira Madison just got suspended for pretending to be Beto lolol pic.twitter.com/xLB6ANLeP3

— Kristi YamaGucciMane (@wapplehouse) November 3, 2020

Saw that just before I went to bed, incredible work. Deserves to win the Nobel Prize for the “es grande” followup.

es grande, si verdad

i guess it's kinda funny that he said emily ratajkowski's boobs are neat. but like, it's not as funny as the horny anthony lane review of incredibles 2

― flopson, Tuesday, November 3, 2020 1:19 AM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

i mean the anthony lane thing was funny because he was taking uhh genuine delight in the incredibles franchise, the thomas chatterthon williams thing was funny cause of his trying really hard and failing to delight in a hot model

a fwiw imo the twitter main character of the day is a great service, the absurdity and senselessness of it is part of the —meta bouquet— that makes the whole thing work

The TCW thing was just funny because of his responses, which along the same lines as conservatives tweeting pictures of their steaks and cigars to prove they’re living great

thomas chatterbox article and his reaction are only really funny when you knew about his shenanigans earlier in the year

this is how jokers are made

“There is no such thing as cancel culture,” I was assured by some of the very same people who spent an entire weekend scouring the internet in foreign languages for years-old writing they might pump through Google translate and reframe as high-stakes international thought crime.

— Thomas Chatterton Williams 🌍 🎧 (@thomaschattwill) November 3, 2020

oceans 11, but recast with the ppl who signed the harpers letter

ok the kunta kinte one is pretty funny lmao

Haven't been on Twitter in ages but had to schadenfreude at DJT and DJT Jr. Good god the bots are out of control! And even more obvious than before. Dozens of different users posting the exact same thing. Shitshowwwww.

since I wasn't really a Harris supporter during the primaries (which meant I didn't pay attention to her supporters), what the fuck is all this shit and why should I care and what in the world is this femininity thing

What the hell is this

Harris fans are going full mask off now that the election is called pic.twitter.com/0478LCa2X3

— Thomas (@ThomasIsOnline) November 8, 2020

the "khive" is a notoriously unhinged group of twitter users

otm, I have so many accounts and their tags blocked or muted, really really terrible group.

This habit of taking something shitty someone said on the internet and then extrapolating that as the opinion of 75M people is probably the worst aspect of Twitter.

There can’t possibly be 75mm “Harris fans”

Borrowers love her

lol

The KHive are the vanguard of the "progressive" TERFs that Britishers have gotten to enjoy so much over the last few years.

ok this 538 thing is the absolute godfather of the "will never see the original tweet but will see 10000 variations of jokes based on the tweet"

here u go

Here's the thing: the reason there's a thing called @FiveThirtyEight is because 538 was the margin in FL when the Republican SCOTUS reversed the 2000 election during a recount, making Dubya the president. That's the kind of margin where races can flip. That's not what's up now.

— Joy WE VOTED!! WEAR A MASK!! Reid 😷) (@JoyAnnReid) November 10, 2020

lol i have her muted, that would explain that

"here's the thing [followed by something that's not the thing]"

-John Carpenter

lol

the entire world is dunking on Joy, it’s a great day

"The KHive are the vanguard of the "progressive" TERFs that Britishers have gotten to enjoy so much over the last few years"

why is this? Did this happen organically or was it organized social media fuckery? I don't know why Harris would have a large number of anti-trans adherents based on her beliefs.

I think it’s a weird intersection of hanger-ons and extremely online people

the ride-or-die people are weird in the absence of coherent ideology (see my Bernie sign peeking out from under the post) and it’s just weird stanning of their candidate that has nothing to do with the actual person, afaict

there are ~vibes~ that may be incompatible, like I doubt there are homophobic Buttigieg realists but who knows

how does Joy Reid have a job

who the fuck knows, somewhere up in the sky at MSNBC shines down on her

from the one time I checked it out in the last five years, it seems like all of the non-news show talk content is for people who want the update on the soap opera they see politics as, from a center-left viewpoint, when you’re at most online enough to check out cranks on twitter who were really into tweeting “this is it”

Reid is presumably quite popular with the old people who watch four hours of MSNBC a night - not too challenging, not a yelling old white man (like Chris Matthews was), unwaveringly anti-Trump

I finally joined Parler with the explicit intention of yelling shitty things at terrible people.

but fuck me if it doesn't have the worst UI I've used in some time. incomprehensible trash

parler-vous mayonnaise?

i changed my location setting to the cayman islands and the only thing that's trending there is Christmas

haha kudos

sigh

Why the hell did Twitter need stories now? What is even the point of different social media apps if they keep constantly evolving into clones of each other?

Blandly attractive people need to be able to virally lip sync on every platform.

twitter had a real opportunity to innovate like make a button that allows you to murder people who send bad tweets instead they just made stories except called it fleets lol

Twitta Van Fleet

I wonder if Fleet video compression can live up to the high standards of the rest of Twitter video content!

they just made stories except called it fleets lol

oh my god, that has to be someone in product development or whatnot pokerfacing, for months on end, in order to come as close to "florps" as possible

USERS: we love twitter but it has problems
TWITTER: great we'll fix them
USERS: do you want to know what they are
TWITTER: absolutely not

— actioncookbook (@actioncookbook) January 5, 2016

USERS: could you at least look at addressing the pervasive harassment of women
TWITTER [twirling like Maria von Trapp]: M O M E N T S

— actioncookbook (@actioncookbook) January 5, 2016

USERS: you're alienating the people who actually use your product
TWITTER: likes are now florps
USERS: what
TWITTER: timeline goes sideways

— actioncookbook (@actioncookbook) January 5, 2016

lol

http://www.riteaid.com/shop/media/catalog/product/3/0/301320020113.jpg

I don't see the Fleet option on my tweets. whaaa

more like Jack Dorky

im making daily fleets becoming a fleet leader

i follow ~1000 accounts and theres one new fleet today (mine)