rvw otm
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 20 December 2020 10:14 (three years ago) link
Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand) at 10:41 11 Dec 19last christmas, i pooed in my pantsthe very next day, i peed in my pants
― peace, man, Sunday, 20 December 2020 20:33 (three years ago) link
oh man. i've been thinking about that one a lot, too.
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 20 December 2020 23:49 (three years ago) link
“Daddy—what’s TikTok?”🧔🏻🔫
― Qui-Gon's Noble End (morrisp), Wednesday, 23 December 2020 01:30 (three years ago) link
My sister recently got a new kitten called Buttons. 3-year old niece insists that Buttons "Is not a good name for a cat" and that it should be called Stain instead.
― Specific Ocean Blue (dog latin), Wednesday, 30 December 2020 12:08 (three years ago) link
Lol
― Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Wednesday, 30 December 2020 21:56 (three years ago) link
My wife's 3yo niece when her <1yo sister wouldn't go in the wendy house: "get in you stupid bugger"
― ledge, Monday, 4 January 2021 15:40 (three years ago) link
Haha, that's a riot!
― peace, man, Monday, 4 January 2021 15:47 (three years ago) link
Tweens text the damndest things:
https://i.imgur.com/VsLXF4N.jpg
― pplains, Tuesday, 5 January 2021 14:03 (three years ago) link
My sister recently got a new kitten called Buttons. 3-year old niece insists that Buttons "Is not a good name for a cat" and that it should be called Stain instead.― Specific Ocean Blue (dog latin), Wednesday, December 30, 2020 12:08 PM (six days ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Specific Ocean Blue (dog latin), Wednesday, December 30, 2020 12:08 PM (six days ago) bookmarkflaglink
Update: My brother also got a kitten at the same time, named Pablo. Pablo is also "not a good name for a cat". Apparently "Pen-ON" (with the emphasis on "ON") is much more suitable.
― Specific Ocean Blue (dog latin), Tuesday, 5 January 2021 14:34 (three years ago) link
I want this girl to re-name every cat.
― peace, man, Tuesday, 5 January 2021 14:40 (three years ago) link
these are my cats, stain and pen-ON
― superdeep borehole (harbl), Tuesday, 5 January 2021 14:54 (three years ago) link
love the vine txt
― shivers me timber (sic), Tuesday, 5 January 2021 20:12 (three years ago) link
3-year old niece (Whatsapp Audio message): ""Good morning everybody! Happy New Year! Happy birthday! Merry St Lucia!"
― Specific Ocean Blue (dog latin), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 10:28 (three years ago) link
"I don't want any more nightmares! I only want dreams about turtles!"
― silverfish, Tuesday, 19 January 2021 14:59 (three years ago) link
feeling it
― John Wesley Glasscock (Hadrian VIII), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 15:13 (three years ago) link
silverfish at 8:43 14 Nov. 17"Earth is my favorite planet because that's where my friends live"Update:"I like Saturn because that's where space unicorns live"
― silverfish, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 23:42 (three years ago) link
Can't argue with that.
― Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 01:03 (three years ago) link
"daddy you know Chris Brown?"
warily.. "yeah"
"is he a lesbian?"
"is he a what?"
"a lesbian. is Chris Brown a lesbian?"
"you know what a lesbian is, right?"
"yeah"
"well, Chris Brown is a man"
"yeah i know. but he looks like a lesbian"
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 1 March 2021 14:51 (three years ago) link
How we say goodnight to the 14-year-old.
I compare B's cat to Buster Keaton
SUNNY: How is she going to know who Buster Keaton is?
ME: Well, hell? How would I know who Buster Keaton is? Dude was famous 50 years before I was born!
SUNNY: Do you know who Buster Keaton was?
B: No.
ME: He was a silent film star. See, when I was born, talkees were already popular.
SUNNY: *sighs*. Do you even know what talkees are?
B: No. But it sounds racist.
― pplains, Monday, 1 March 2021 15:28 (three years ago) link
So we do co-sleeping :A: Dad, can I have a little lie in before [my little sister] comes in?D: Of course. A: Because your snoring kept me awake all night.
― Ignore the neighsayers: grow a lemon tree (ledge), Saturday, 20 March 2021 09:46 (three years ago) link
teehee
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 20 March 2021 14:34 (three years ago) link
Opal calls hearing “earsight”
― dan selzer, Saturday, 20 March 2021 16:00 (three years ago) link
“When a police officer dies they lost the flag a little bit. When the flag touches the ground it means they are all dead.”
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Sunday, 4 April 2021 00:19 (three years ago) link
(After I tell him he should turn off his wireless mouse to save the battery:)“You’re a hipo... hipo... hipo... I don’t know the word. It means you never stick with one answer.”Hypocrite?“Yeah – I see it a lot in Peanuts.”
― Yawnsomely Literal Cover Band (morrisp), Friday, 16 April 2021 04:26 (three years ago) link
my kids use all the slang now. sometimes i hate it. but sometimes it's great. i made some rhubarb shortcake the other night and my 9-y-o goes 'dad this is bussin bussin'
words cannot describe the pride
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 28 April 2021 09:51 (two years ago) link
Speaking of slang, this low-key SE London exchange took place yesterday:M: Little children are quite funny.F: Rude! Rude to say that when you’re near a child.M: You’re quite a big child now, F.F: No. Big children are pure teenagers.‘Rude’ has been there for about a month now, but this was the first appearance of ‘pure’.
― Madchen, Wednesday, 28 April 2021 09:59 (two years ago) link
picking up the glasgow slang from you surely
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 28 April 2021 10:00 (two years ago) link
He gave his father a telling-off for talking Scottish when he’s in England: “You should only speak English in England, Daddy.” That one was hurriedly turned into a Learning Opportunity. The absolute 100% best thing he says is ‘tooken’ instead of taken. I hope he never stops.
― Madchen, Wednesday, 28 April 2021 10:06 (two years ago) link
Opal used to call speaking English as talking “regular” as opposed to Spanish. Also a learning opportunity.
― dan selzer, Wednesday, 28 April 2021 14:01 (two years ago) link
When I was very young I used to think women spoke French and men spoke English, based on my parents
― Urbandn hope all ye who enter here (dog latin), Wednesday, 28 April 2021 14:15 (two years ago) link
I feel like that makes sense.
― dan selzer, Wednesday, 28 April 2021 16:41 (two years ago) link
Looking at Scholastic book club flyer:Kid: Well well well! Dav Pilkey had announced he was discontinuing Dog Man books – but here’s a new one. Talk about fake news!Me: Maybe don’t say “fake news”; that’s something Donald Trump made up.Kid: Really? But I just came up with it… what do you mean?Me: (??)Uh, OK… I guess it’s all right.
― smoking grass, poor caddying. (morrisp), Thursday, 29 April 2021 03:46 (two years ago) link
He also didn’t make it up, he just said it a lot
― Clara Lemlich stan account (silby), Thursday, 29 April 2021 04:15 (two years ago) link
Really? But I just came up with it… what do you mean?
massive lols at this.
― visiting, Thursday, 29 April 2021 04:23 (two years ago) link
Also tho I’m so glad scholastic book orders still exist…i loved that shit
― Clara Lemlich stan account (silby), Thursday, 29 April 2021 04:33 (two years ago) link
get that kid some Gordon Kormans
'dad this is bussin bussin'
:D at this and madchen's
― bobo honkin' slobo babe (sic), Thursday, 29 April 2021 04:42 (two years ago) link
My daughter doesn’t like to be line leader in her preschool class, “because people look at my butt.”
― Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf (CBTL) stan (morrisp), Wednesday, 19 May 2021 02:23 (two years ago) link
She came home from school today and said a girl kept kissing her, and she didn’t like it:Well, did you ask her to stop?“Yes… I told her to save her kisses for her mama!”
― like a d4mn sociopath! (morrisp), Thursday, 27 May 2021 01:56 (two years ago) link
Speaking of which I think we had a right of passage…explains “gay” to Opal as when a woman loves another woman (among other things) and she yelled out “I’m gay with mama!”Then we got to try to explain romantic love…
― dan selzer, Thursday, 27 May 2021 02:23 (two years ago) link
oh dear lol
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 27 May 2021 02:30 (two years ago) link
lol
― like a d4mn sociopath! (morrisp), Thursday, 27 May 2021 02:31 (two years ago) link
save her kisses for her mama!
massive lols at this
― visiting, Thursday, 27 May 2021 03:14 (two years ago) link
this is the best thread. thank you all for sharing.
― visiting, Thursday, 27 May 2021 03:16 (two years ago) link
My boy, who is neurodiverse and then some bless him, is the prince of daft questions. I should have kept a log over the years but as it's getting hot, I keep thinking about this beauty.
'What does sunblock do?'
Not to over-explain but I can't honestly think of a better example of economy of language in action.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Thursday, 27 May 2021 08:57 (two years ago) link
Good question imo. Does it sun the block or block the sun? Not obvious. Sometimes the verb goes first: pickpocket, scarecrow.
― anatol_merklich, Friday, 28 May 2021 23:10 (two years ago) link
(Older kid, smiling:) “Daddy, I just ate 50 chips…. do you think I’ll throw up?”One day of summer break down; how many to go?
― like a d4mn sociopath! (morrisp), Saturday, 29 May 2021 02:05 (two years ago) link
He was asking earlier what's the difference btw. a dog pound and an animal shelter – me: I guess nothing, a pound is just an older name for the same thing – him: "Yeah, and we don't even use pounds in the United States, we use dollars." I thought that was kinda funny.
― search term: buttrock (morrisp), Monday, 21 June 2021 22:13 (two years ago) link
lol that's great
― visiting, Monday, 21 June 2021 23:08 (two years ago) link
I'm sitting here trying to work at the computer; he's flipping through these I SURVIVED books he borrowed from a friend. Then he keeps coming over and asking me things like: Daddy... Who - or what - attacked New York on September 11, 2001?
Can we, like, have that conversation a little later; and not right at this moment when I'm trying to get this email out, please?
― search term: buttrock (morrisp), Thursday, 24 June 2021 02:23 (two years ago) link