Joe Biden, Senator from Citibank (oops, DELAWARE), to Run for President

An aural transcription of Biden's upcoming presidency:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWLVBP3VrO4

Also, wtf is 'DNA Repair'?

In one month, get ready to bend the fucking knee.

You are such a weirdo

never seen wanker spelt like that before

I was going to say “monarchist”

silby lol

xxp

can i see pictures of weirdos with mike love?

https://images.findagrave.com/photos/2006/194/8138754_115292071045.jpg

No no no no no mine’s gonna include the “Big” on it.

It's also going to say "Frightful beloved SOB"

Well okay fair point that is true too.

NEW -- Biden will not immediately roll back Trump immigration and border restrictions, Susan Rice and Jake Sullivan tell Spanish news agency EFE, and Title 42, MPP etc will take time to undo, despite campaign promises for "Day One" reversals https://t.co/HcmH8cGBWx

— Nick Miroff (@NickMiroff) December 22, 2020

surprised pikachu

“We will be able to take some steps to change policies right away,” Rice said. “Others will take time to put in place, and the situation at the border will not transform overnight due in large part to the damage done over the last four years. But we are committed to addressing it in full.”

Seems sensible.

They said that about Gitmo iirc

Title 42, MPP etc will take time to undo, despite campaign promises for "Day One" reversals

Slamming out a new policy directive without laying any groundwork for implementation leads to fuck ups like having thousands of immigrant children in your care, nowhere to house them, no one qualified to care for them, and when you're successfully sued in court, finding out you have no clue who the parents of 500 of them are. Even a return to more benign policies can require some lead time to get them done correctly.

They said that about Gitmo iirc

Congress got scared stupid about closing Gitmo and threw up legal roadblocks.

Gitmo may end up like parole for Leslie Van Houten "No Manson killer 9/11 conspirator goes free on my watch!"

Speaking of Gitmo, my dear friend (and now acclaimed children's book author and dysfluency awareness advocate!?!) Jordan wrote and created this page about his visit there. https://lanternsatguantanamo.ca/

The brother of Biden's long-time right-hand-man (Chief Of Staff to him as VP, director of the Penn Biden Center for the last four years, now Counselor to the President-elect) has been hired by Amazon as a lobbyist, apparently specifically for them to get public funding for their private health-care service as part of the coronavirus relief funding.

I’m sure that kind of obvious attempt to purchase access would never work on Biden.

So, the story here is that Amazon hired a lobbyist to do some lobbying for them?

idk, tldr

"do you support the $2,000 direct payments?"

Biden: "yes" pic.twitter.com/hVTcRiKGbr

— austerity is theft (@wideofthepost) December 28, 2020

Maybe a good time to turn around talk about the importance of $2k checks?

Nah.

With just over 20 days until Inauguration Day, there’s never been a better time to stock up on @BidenInaugural gear. Head to https://t.co/j1ZK7kyMj6 to find everything you need.

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) December 30, 2020

With a $600 relief cheque, you could buy three Joe Biden Commemorative Recycled Cotton blankets.

https://media1.tenor.com/images/a2c4be0ccd33a20dad7d856821f3f15a/tenor.gif?itemid=15714930

how's this one looking now

lol sic I had that bookmarked for posterity

Immediately following Democratic effort to beat back Republican efforts to implement a corporate liability shield for coronavirus deaths, Joe Biden taps someone who did just that as commerce secretary. https://t.co/CZg9zA1Q0S pic.twitter.com/s7UUOgZUGV

— jordan (@JordanUhl) January 7, 2021

Getting things back to normal!

Ehh “he tactically appealed to better natures in his successful race for the presidency” isn’t exactly the greatest own.

Also more importantly while the other candidates were having navel-gazy policy arms race debates irrelevant to what will actually pass the senate he launched his campaign with a focus on what happened at Charlottesville and has been effectively warning ever since about what ended up happening yesterday. Particularly in the last several weeks, his demand that Trump accept the results made reference to the consequences we saw yesterday.

fun fact: before jordan uhl was a resistance grifter he did PR for peta, including on this campaign. seems like a great guy https://t.co/UWbCioPFcA

— Zoomcock Archivist 🌋 (@canderaid) January 5, 2021

yikes

Ehh “he tactically appealed to better natures in his successful race for the presidency” isn’t exactly the greatest own.

"Biden tactically expresses bad opinions he actually just straightforwardly holds" is the new "Trump is doing 5D chess"

Simon, Joe will be your president too.

lol gabbdon "Jordan Uhl worked for PETA, clearly Gina Raimondo did not use an executive order to shield nursing homes from COVID liability."

Simon, Joe will be your president too.

― “Big” Don Abernathy, Thursday, January 7, 2021 11:07 AM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

gabbneb: trump is your president

Ehh “he tactically appealed to better natures in his successful race for the presidency” isn’t exactly the greatest own.

Ehh I haven't checked the figures but November 4th, 2012 might predate his race for the presidency, and 147 Republicans followed an armed coup attempt by voting to overturn the election *checks figures* a few hours ago.

I haven’t yet read the 4 screenshot tweet for people who still take jacobin seriously. I’ll do it later I promise.

Joe's invading Canada? big if true

A dream that eluded Jefferson.

Biden, remember what happened in 1812, don't try it

Perhaps Joe is inspired by the fenian raids

Simon’s Canadian? Still holds true I think.

I, for one, will welcome our new Delaware overlord.

Marty Walsh, Human Thumb, expected to be the Labor Secretary: https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/07/politics/marty-walsh-labor-biden/index.html

Does he have a comical Boston accent at least?

He's nawt a cawp.

pretty solid accent yes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbtd-cdmQHc

During the 2020 uprisings against police violence, Boston area activists called on Walsh to reduce spending on Boston Police Department by at least 10% for the 2021 fiscal budget. Walsh instead diverted $12 million from police overtime spending, less than 3% of the overall department budget.

he'll fit right in