RIVERDALE, the brooding reimagining of the Archie comics brought to you by the CW

Gritty Shirt Tales! They eat each other!

a) Who's gagging for a Shirt Tales reboot, b) of the twelve people who are, how badly do they want something that is nothing like Shirt Tales, c) why not make your own Killer Animals Wearing Shirts thing for all the people who would enjoy that and who aren't going to be drawn to the prospect of a Shirt Tales reboot because what even is Shirt Tales

In summation: stay weird, Hollywood

xpost You sure can!

what if they reimagined Scooby Doo as a bunch of anthropomorphic tools that solve mysteries

they could call it Screwby Doo

Y'all miss Andy Rooney, too, right?

Why do people eat oranges? No food should be named after its color! And why are cars so fast?

Why do birds etc

It never ends:

Trying to explain everything that’s happened on Riverdale this season is an impossible task, but to sum it up: Hiram Lodge tried to blow up Archie with a bomb, which instead somehow gave the main cast a variety of superpowers and allowed a dark sorcerer named Percival Pickens to arrive in town from another dimension. Also, Cheryl Blossom became a witch (unrelated). Archie and the gang managed to murder Percival before he was able to take over the town—both time travel and Satan were involved—but not before he was able to redirect Bailey’s Comet (not a typo) to head directly at Riverdale. This is a lot, and I’ve barely scratched the surface of what’s happened in season six, and I won’t even get into how the lance that pierced the side of Jesus while he was on the cross ended up in a Riverdale pawn shop.

Via a board vet

This is just the funniest thing I have seen on this site in a long time: https://t.co/GoVW9GuVrF

— Nicolarzzzz (@nicolarz) August 1, 2022

I'm never going to try to catch up with this but I do enjoy reading summaries of everything that happened after the second season. It's kind of like reading the wiki summaries of Dune books after the first two.

A perfect comparison.

i really enjoyed riverdale s1, but season 2 was too long and uneven-seeming so i kinda just abandoned the show until my friend convinced me to watch season 7 because it's heavily bisexual (it is, for a cw show), so then i came up with the unbelievably stupid idea of watching the seasons in reverse. i'm in 5 right now. this show fucking sucks. i love it

there are so many musical numbers and the cast are passable karaoke singers attempting stuff like "shallow" and "it's all coming back to me now" and sooo much musical theater and i have to look away from the screen in embarrassment whenever it happens

still: cheryl blossom is the greatest character in the history of television

she really is

i can’t remember how many seasons i watched til i dipped out, i think after luke perry died i didn’t enjoy it as much idk

i have not watched it since early s3 and don't intend to restart but whenever i come across clips, it always seems like the most bonkers shit ever (and the finale sounds straight up hilarious)

and yes, cheryl rules

about 10 years ago i was in a band and the lead singer was basically cheryl blossom ... the voice too.