should ilxors be tempbanned for taking their beefs to other social media? (twitter/fbook/myspace/etc)?

sarahell has diligently and thoughtfully attempted to support BB's modes of communication, and shape discussions to include them, in the last year,

??? how should I respond to this??

i'd say positively— you're trying to make space for someone that no one else has been able to make space for, or is through with, and that isn't a mark against you, more a mark against them that you've had to take the energy and time to make that space.

in any case, i was away during many of these previous incidents with said person, and don't remember much about them on the boards when they had a different user/dn, so i have little fur to lose in this situation, except they seem to be exceptionally awful imo.

Ugh, not totally following the latest wrinkle, tried to peek at the relevant thread for a second, although I don’t even feel comfortable reading it so I stopped, but just want to say I am sorry for those who are having to deal with this (again).

what are we talking about itt?

ALSO still waiting for an apology here

lol ... that reminds me of that classic post with GWB aboard the aircraft carrier ... like we are all treeshy's "colorful friends"

― sarahell, Sunday, February 21, 2021 9:15 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

this picture is really cracking me up its like a dream bush is having abt when everything works out just how he planned and all his colorful friends are congratulating him
― ice cr?m, Monday, December 1, 2008 12:05 PM

― sarahell, Sunday, February 21, 2021 9:18 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

i apologize for remembering your post fondly and riffing on it. i apologize for comparing ilxor treeship to former president George W Bush. i apologize for comparing ilxors to aircraft carrier staff in the context of us being treeship's "messageboard people"

(table read my meaning right)

Any time I post something cool on ILX, treeship tweets about it.

Oh wait. That's lag∞n who does that.

no it's me

this whole thread is going on my shit_ilx_says account

I read sics post as only positive sarahell

I think sarahell is very thoughtful and does a great job

never really beefed with the ilxor in question thank god except one time I ended up calling them the "mayor mccheese of suicide" which I don't remember the specifics and probably regretful

im sorry but lol

literal irl lol

is there something you can be the "mayor mccheese" of that would not be lol tho? not to diminish matt's very well earned lol.

i mean tbh, i just went through any number of possibility in my head, it felt like i was trying to title a bunch of Prurient albums.

never really beefed with the ilxor in question thank god except one time I ended up calling them the "mayor mccheese of suicide" which I don't remember the specifics and probably regretful

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, February 22, 2021 1:17 PM (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

best thing i've read on here for a while. going on my tumblr

omg Prurient -- that reminds me of when Prurient was touring w/Merzbau a couple years ago, and I forget what the context was, but Merzbau blocked our friend s1nuba on twitter for ... I forget why ... but his comment was something like "Merzbau disapproved" and we spent like an hour making memes of random images and putting "Merzbau disapproved" on them.

This thread has become brilliant.

I'm the mayor mccheese of sleep

I'm the mayor mccheese of mis-spelling the names of prominent noise acts

merzbow mccheese

lol I was wondering if I needed to bump the Unnecessary Googleproofing thread ;)

nah s1nuba is a Scorpio ... they would search for their name and find this thread ... oh wait ...

speaking of which -- post your astrological sun / moon /rising sign and I will tell you what you are Mayor McCheese of ...

I ended up calling them the "mayor mccheese of suicide"

*Grimace*

omg ... !!!!!!

lol

should ilxors be banned for taking their all beef patties to social media

impossible burger tbh

Ouch, my mcribs

http://pics.me.me/thumb_i

http://i.imgur.com/EcXNqnR.png

Sad I missed Whiney's intrusion into the No Boys Allowed thread, even though I think that is poor form.

it actually did get commemorated:

Who are the self-clowning ovens of ILX?

there is this v troubling and uncomf pattern I have seen where when ppl try to patiently explain their transgressions to them or hold them accountable, they will derail it by switching to this facetious hyperbole thing of "well I GUESS I can't say ANYTHING then! I guess EVERYONE just HATES me!!!!!!!", it is incredibly manipulative

Yeah, that's pretty much just the pattern, afaict.

idk if it's facetious or if they are genuinely feeling that way but ... it definitely functions to make people feel shitty who confront them in a respectful manner

and it leads to compounding the amount of ... really, it's a pretty appropriate term here ... emotional labor ... required to broach the subject and not immediately back down or leave or ...

facetious is not the right word but when you scream "I GUESS I can't say ANYTHING", you know that you cannot in fact not say anything, there is a knowing dramatic exaggeration for effect

it's so incredibly childish!!

the answer there is "you CAN'T say ANYTHING, you can say MOST THINGS and there are a few things you CAN'T say and if you had been raised properly you would KNOW WHAT THOSE THINGS ARE"

fwiw admin log now saying ban is permanent

i would just like to say i'm very grateful to sarahell for documenting this moment in the self-clowning ovens thread.

the whole thing makes me sad, bcz they are incredibly smart and often have v insightful and unique and interesting things to say, but they are also capable of so much harm, and no amount of like gentle calling-in seems to have had any long-term effect on their behavior. like I so so so wish they could get to a place where they could accept criticism w/o such volatile reaction but as long as that is the case it does not seem like a v great environment for us OR them

i mean, i think they see gendered oppression everywhere they look. they read it into civil critiques offered by non-male, non-straight, non-cis ilxors -- everyone is an avatar of patriarchy. there is a degree of manipulation in this, for sure, but i also think they see the world like this, which is what makes me feel weird about the whole thing. it feels delusional.

yeah, sorry for semantic nit-picking -- I guess I try not to focus on trying to read said poster's mind or assuming anything about their intentions or thought process, but the effect on the people that they treat that way, and how you feel abused and manipulated ... like, that's the key thing. That it's a pattern, that it affects many people, that it's been brought to this poster's attention by numerous people, some of them friends (and now former friends), and things don't really change.

Like, you should be able to say respectfully: maybe you didn't intend to come across this way, but this feels abusive and I feel manipulated by the way you do x.
And the other poster should respond: Fuck! I don't want to be an asshole! I don't want to hurt you. I am sorry.

And not like you are obligated to just accept that at face value, but, the fact that there didn't appear to be any regret or empathy and only defensiveness and anger ... that is bad.

the whole thing makes me sad, bcz they are incredibly smart and often have v insightful and unique and interesting things to say, but they are also capable of so much harm, and no amount of like gentle calling-in seems to have had any long-term effect on their behavior.

otm!!!