Donald Trump: Classic or Dud?

I could easily imagine Cruz trying to weasel his way into the nomination, even if Trump ran, as only Cruz can.

"Look, folks--we all love Donald. We know what he's done for the party, for our country, for our world. The simple fact is, he can't win. Not because he shouldn't win, but because more than half the country hates him. They shouldn't hate him, they should love him--we know that--but because of the media, they can never know the Donald we know. To correct that, I offer myself as a humble stand-in. Let's you, me, and the spirit of Donald Trump go forward and scale heights we never knew possible. Let's do this--let's Make MAGA Great Again."

(Also known as MMAGAGA, not to be confused with Lady Gaga.)

Xp to AndytG, hat is a fair point

Cawthorne won't be old enough to run for President until 2032

CAWTHORN 2032

- Granny Dainger

Hopefully he won't make it to that age.

I think it’s safe to once again say: Classic

Former President Trump is releasing statements that read like tweets on letterhead. pic.twitter.com/bGJaaRvPzf

— Yamiche Alcindor (@Yamiche) March 10, 2021

Like the aging high school quarterback watching old films of his salad days: "I was something else! Hope they don't forget... "

"(often referred to as...)"--like riding a bike.

it's so strange that he actually could take a teeny weeny bit of credit for the fast development of vaccines but 1) he doesn't and 2) his moron followers don't trust the vaccine that he could be taking some credit for. Because of dumb stuff they read on the internet. Such a ridiculous unforced error on his part.

He really wanted this out there to breathe new life into 'China Virus'.

Hah, like there is such a thing as an unforced error in trumpworld.

The followers don't have any trouble holding contradictory positions as long as all of them can be spun to be laudatory of the god-emperor.

1. The virus is a dangerous bioweapon intentionally unleashed by the wily Chinese Communists to destroy our precious way of life. Only Trump with his manly manliness was able to do the right thing and stand up to those godless bastards with his prescient travel ban. MAGA!

2. The virus is actually not that big a deal, the flu kills way more people anyways. And Democrat health officials are classifying deaths from car accidents as COVID deaths, just to obtain more control. Only Trump with his excellent brain could tell that it was an overblown threat ginned up by evil Fauci and the Deep State to control the lives of our noble patriots. MAGA!

3. The virus would have been a WAY more serious threat, had it not been for the lightning-fast rapid vaccine development enabled by Trump's quick thinking and excellent brain. Had he not acted as he did, millions would be dying in the streets. Thanks, DJT! MAGA!

4. Vaccines are a crock; we should all have been taking hydroxychloroquinine with a bleach chaser and a sunlight enema long ago, and everything would be fine. But the lying deep state pedophiles like Fauci, who are in league with AOC and the FAKE NEWS MEDIA, don't want you to know that. Because they want to control every aspect of your lives. Only Trump with his excellent brain could see through the establishment's lies and see the Truth. MAGA!

There's really no problem believing all these things simultaneously as long as they all end with MAGA!

You’re right but if he had done a better job taking credit for the vaccine maybe he could have attracted some non-true-believers. Wouldn’t have been that hard to do but he was just too lazy or undisciplined.

I wish journalists would stop helping Trump get around his Twitter ban.

someone on twitter determined that this new missive fits just under the current 280 character limit

WmC otm

Dud

I love that I'm only now learning about this press release, a day on.

idk I think journalists are spending the appropriate amount of time on Trump right now, you barely hear him mentioned on the news lately (outside of "the previous administration really fucked this up"), something like this really should get the spotlight as a reminder of how absolutely pathetic the entire GOP is

Yeah but why won't the lamestream media remind everybody that he personally OK'd the vaccinations' creation? (Even though they're actually Soros/Antifa microchips?)

Tussaud’s Waxworks in San Antonio removes Trump figure because people keep punching it

lol, that looks nothing at all like him.

I'm deeply disappointed that they didn't include a picture with its face mashed in.

wanna see that video i made of trump and the hall of presidents a few years ago again? might as well, it took me 2349087234-8723-4032q950-98238q24-0q239489-231098432=0-94823-0948u23-0948123-0948123-0948123 years to make\\

https://vimeo.com/248242009

2349087234-8723-4032q950-98238q24-0q239489-231098432=0-94823-0948u23-0948123-0948123-0948123

#notaNFT

https://www.instagram.com/p/CMnBwidFAZ3/?igshid=1k8lfguzipuwh

The acrylic lectern is so on brand for a guy whose brain stopped working in 1986.

looks like he's running for condo board treasurer in that pic, strong morty seinfeld vibes

its kind of surreal seeing all these sad photos of him in half-empty ballrooms at Mar-a-Lago, I still cannot believe that fucking guy was President

...surrounded by a slew of John Waters' films extras.

Dud

Former President Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort has closed its dining room and suspended beach club services to guests due to a Covid-19 outbreak among "some" staff, according to an email sent to members Friday afternoon and shared with CNN.

The email says the closure is out of "an abundance of caution."

Banquet and event services remain open, the email says, adding: "We have already undertaken all appropriate response measures in accordance with CDC guidance, including activating a thorough sanitization and cleaning of any affected areas and all club facilities, and we will continue our heightened environmental cleaning regimen."

https://happymag.tv/trump-wax-figure-removed-from-museum/?fbclid=IwAR3W-YKduZCOF8l2JYwqX7zwZo4pmt_4x7qSE7tuV5psUH8Q0pN68x8_EGk

fbclid=IwAR3W-YKduZCOF8l2JYwqX7zwZo4pmt_4x7qSE7tuV5psUH8Q0pN68x8_EGk

fbclid=IwARdudduddud3W-YKduZCOF8l2JYwqX7dudduddudduddudduddudzwZo4pmt_4x7qSE7tuV5dudduddudpsUH8Q0pN68x8_EGdudduddudk

https://www.cnn.com/2021/03/21/media/donald-trump-social-media-network/index.html

"Completely redefine the game"--in a downward direction, I assume, if that's even possible.

Today in Things That Will Never Happen...frankly, I'm surprised he didn't say it would be coming "in about two weeks".

lol

Facst? Nzi Prty?

call me naive, but i think it's going to happen. it may suck and immediately fall apart, or it may actually attract a bunch of people. it makes too much sense for it not happen, especially given that everyone involved is either desperate for money or desperate to throw money at things.

the more interesting thing, i think, will be what they'll do when all fascists and militia groups establish their presence (on day 1, i'd guess). i would assume that any trump social network will do zero "moderation". so what does that mean when he's hosting stormfront?

Same--with all that money out there just waiting to be milked, I'd be surprised if they didn't at least get it off the ground. I'm interested in how much attention is paid to it by CNN and such. If there's little or none, I expect Trump would quickly lose interest.

StrmFrnt?

this will collapse if the apple app store doesn't host it. this means it will have to commit to certain moderation standards, which means that trump would not be able to speak freely on the app the way he once did on twitter.

Patriots use Goya phones

Ban the apple ecosystem!

If it's anything at all, it'll be a knockoff Gab with Trump's name stamped on it (big shiny gold logo) and one of the least attractive user bases in media. Smaller, too, because every time a high-profile account migrates from one platform to another they lose a sizable percentage of followers just due to attrition. I guarantee Trump has no idea how much of a money sink social media networks are in general (Twitter wasn't profitable until 2019, and both revenues and profits have declined since) and will lose interest incredibly rapidly if any of his own money is at risk.

i would guess he's less in it for the money and more for having a platform where people pay attention to him and he can guarantee that any critical voice will be outnumbered

if i die in the next few months, it is likely because i got mad at the world and decided to go on to trumpballs.com to troll the ted cruz posts

what the hell even is this?

This is a real statement released tonight by former President Trump in its entirety pic.twitter.com/gB61je1mg9

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) March 27, 2021

when he's right, he's right

Uh, there is, in fact, a Durham Report:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durham_Report

Maybe we should ask the guy who appointed Durham. Or the guy who appointed that guy. Oh... right.

It's not the flex you think it is when you ask about the reality and/or existence of one of your former employees. Just sayin.

"Was I a complete imbecile, completely unsuited to my job? Why yes, I was! Someone should do something about that!"

The big guy wandered into a wedding reception and toasted the happy couple:

“Y’know, I just got, I turned off the news, I get all these flash reports, and they’re telling me about the border, they’re telling me about China, they’re telling me about Iran—how’re we doing with Iran, howdya like that? Boy, they were ready to make a deal, they woulda done anything, they woulda done anything, and this guy goes and drops the sanctions and then he says, ‘We’d love to negotiate now,’ ‘We’re not dealing with the United States at all,’ oh, well, they don’t want to deal with us. And China, the same thing, they never treated us that way, right? You saw what happened a few days ago, was terrible, and uh, the border is not good, the border is the worst anybody’s ever seen it, and what you see now, multiply it times 10, Jim — he’s the only one I know who would handle the border tougher than me. We have to, and the tough is... in the most humanitarian way, because that’s what it is. What’s happening to the kids, they’re living in squalor, they are living like nobody has ever seen anybody, there’s never been anything like what’s, and you’re gonna have hundreds, and you have it now, they have the airplane photos, the shocks, and they call ’em shocks, and these things are showing thousands and thousands of people coming up from South America and it’s gonna be, it’s just uh, look, it’s a disaster. It’s a humanitarian disaster from their standpoint, and it’s gonna destroy the country, and frankly, the country can’t afford it because you’re talking about massive, just incredibly massive amounts. Our school systems, our hospital systems, everything. So it’s a rough thing, and I just say, ‘Do you miss me yet?’ We did get 75 million votes, nobody’s ever gotten that. They said, ‘Get 66 million votes, sir, and the election’s over.’ We got 75 million and they said... but you know, you saw what happened, 10:30 in the evening, all of a sudden I said, ‘That’s a strange thing, why are they closing up certain places, right?’ Now, a lot of things happening right now, I just wanted to say, it’s an honor to be here, it’s an honor to have you at Mar-a-Lago, you are a great and beautiful couple.”

Nailed it.