outbreak! (ebola, sars, coronavirus, etc)

that's why you gotta go in there with nothing but two smelly butts, one behind each ear, no pack, and tell them you smoked them on the way up the elevator

then you say "can i ash here", and you smear the ashes all over the signature lines of the vaccination paperwork

ahh i see,so u have to look cool when u light the cigarette, even more points if you can do it hands free, and when you put out your right arm, a hawk has to come and land on it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxigNmhB5KM

what if you've seen half of 200 Cigarettes?

you are eligible in NYS if you have ADHD fwiw

https://www.harihareswara.net/sumana/2021/03/02/0

Countdown to Twitch streams of people chainsmoking 500 cigarettes to get the vax.

no if you smoke 500 cigarettes you get 5 vaxes

500 cigarettes still gets you a duffelbag, i'm sad to say, but it is a big improvement over the 100 cigarette reward bag, with more pockets

And 200 Cigarettes gets you nothing.

truly wild to see these two tweets in rapid succession on my TL: pic.twitter.com/4PA6It24lo

— lil uzi veritas (@polumechanos) March 2, 2021

I'm surprised at how many people on Twitter are not getting that Biden saying we will have enough doses by May does not mean they will be in arms by May. I mean, it's great news regardless and accelerates our timeline, but... there are a large number of states that still need to get their shit together wrt equitable distribution.

the federal sites will be a big help. we're getting 4 in FL.

likewise I think this is where the CVSs/Walgreens and other commercial pharmacies are going to step up when they get an increased amount of the supply. they're used to scheduling systems for their MinuteClinics/etc at the back of the store.

you're right though that having access to does not = completion of vaccination by May.

Oh agreed, it's really good news, and I don't mean to diminish it. But I'm seeing so many people spinning this into "summer will be back to normal bay-beeee" and it's like, well, no. Let's keep some reality in check here.

They're doing vaccines at the CVS two blocks from me, but all the slots are booked and I'm not sure I qualify for one yet.

xpost honestly anybody rushing to make plans for the summer = premature, as we've learned throughout this pandemic, much of what we expected hasn't happened, and much of what we didn't expect has. we should be happy about the news but also sit back and...like...wait before we start planning May block parties lol.

my block party will be getting a haircut and going to the dentist

yeah, thanks to my changed living situation during the pandemic, my life is already not going back to what it was pre-pandemic. but the small pleasures will be back and i will be very thankful.

Word

xp

has anybody gone to the eye doctor? I felt squeamish going last April when my contact lenses were running out, so I just re-ordered my last Rx and paid out of pocket, but now the Rx is expired so I have no choice. not as worried now that I have the stab and they might too, so I'm finally going on Monday.

Yep. I went in October. Quite safe.

I had just gone and gotten new glasses in December of 2019, so I'm feeling okay about that. It's the dentist that I need to get too.

Ugh, to. Autocorrect.

If you want assurance, call'em and ask about protocol.

I went to the dentist in early January. She's hyper-hygienic in normal times, so the extra protocols were cool. I waited in my car before getting texted to come, she made me wear a plastic face mask, and she was herself wearing one and double masked.

I've been wearing glasses from 1995 for the past year (thankfully my prescription hasn't changed much even if my sense of style most certainly has) while my last pair of disposable contacts sit unused behind a pane of glass with a little hammer hanging from a chain next to them.

Well, part of the issue is that my work changed insurance to kick off 2020 and I had yet to find a new dentist when shit hit the fan. I would feel really comfortable going to my old dentist, but that's not an option, so not even knowing where to start gives me a little extra pause.

I felt safer at my optometrist and dentist than I would've, say, at a bar.

I got a new glasses presciption pretty early in the pandemic. It does feel kinda weird, considering how close you have to be to the doctor, but as long as you're both masked I think you're probably OK. You have the vax so you're much safer regardless.

It will be interesting to see if coronavirus numbers go down in the northeast once the cicadas come and everyone is too paralyzed with horror to go outside.

I had a UK eye test and it was fine, but it is a bit weird wearing a mask throughout and being like "is the image clearer in the left lens or the right lens?" "it's completely steamed up again in the four seconds since you last wiped it to be honest mate"

J&J vaccine is rising to the occasion pic.twitter.com/yDsGg1JyQ6

— Julia Marcus, PhD, MPH (@JuliaLMarcus) March 3, 2021

(lol but also great news!)

I haven't had dental insurance or a vision plan since I turned 18, haven't seen a dentist in...a really long time. I was on the brink of resolving that when the pandemic hit— I might just go and pay out of pocket for a checkup. How bad can it be? (I know, pretty awful :-( )

go

do you have a dental school near you? i go to one even though i do have insurance but they're much cheaper than regular dentists (i see a dentist, not a student, though there's an option for student clinic too). if it helps i went way longer than "a really long time" just out of avoidance because i thought they'd tell me i needed my wisdom teeth out. i only had one small thing they needed to fix and don't need my wisdom teeth out. nor do i need to replace a 20-year-old crown.

Fucking A I'm trying to find a dentist today too because suddenly my tooth hurts a STUPID amount, and it turns out I only have PREVENTATIVE coverage and I'm SOL to find a dentist I can pay out of pocket for this drill & fill and/or possible root canal. I've been on and off the phone with 5 different entities for 3 hours.

My youngest kid has never been - he had his first appointment booked in (with my other kid) then lockdown happens. I feel like a crap parent. Also I think my other kid has only been once - we moved then this.

Yeah, I might just book an appt at my childhood dentist and put it on the credit card tbh.

i once went ten years without visiting the dentist before going back in 2017, found out I have pretty severe periondontitis, bone loss in teeth, fillings i need,etc. due to an insane two months at work that had me out of state almost the entire time, I missed an appointment, got too lazy to make another one, never went back. and now my reason for not going to the dentist isn't that i don't have time or it's too expensive, it's 'afraid to hear how bad it is gotten'. i'll learn when each tooth falls out, tyvm.

(in all seriousness, i think ima book one soon)

lol I've avoided the dentist since the pandemic hit but I've been brushing and flossing obsessively cuz I hate getting the drill

my dentist called me the other day to re-book my missed appt from 2020. I was like "how about...July?" which is now looking optimistic for Montreal :(

I'm moved and humbled by the restraint shown in shortening Johnson & Johnson to J&J in that tweet caek posted.

the big problem with pandemic-exacerbated depression is me recovering from it and realizing I now stress ate myself into not fitting into my clothes and let every other ounce of self-care go. unintentional second mountain to climb. but better than not being over the first one!

that's why i'm going to make a shit ton of appointments for things I've neglected (dentist, eye doctor) - I start with my new therapist today.

good luck!

i've been to the doctor a fair amount, i needed to and they have great protocols. these visits revealed my blood pressure and weight are increasing though, neanderthal, in a similar boat. too much pizza delivery. trying to eat healthier and gawd i'm out of shape. just focusing on running a mile every other day on a new treadmill. have to set attainable goals that won't discourage me. oh, also cutting down on nicotine

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/mar/03/brazil-covid-global-threat-new-more-lethal-variants-miguel-nicolelis

arrest Bolsonaro

idk that it matters *that* much, I mean, cases are still much too high for us to be resuming anything, but CDC misrepresenting the stats isn't great given how many people are unnecessarily pessimistic on the vaccines:

Cases of #COVID19 are on the rise.

As of March 1, the 7-day moving average of new cases is 66,010, a 3.5% increase from the previous week. Now is not the time to relax prevention measures. Wear a well-fitting mask. Stay 6 feet apart. Avoid crowds. More: https://t.co/YT7LKi6sF2. pic.twitter.com/5fjf0h0G9e

— CDC (@CDCgov) March 3, 2021

Why does the CDC keep doing this? Cases are not on the rise. We are not all a bunch of nimrods who don't understand what's happening.

We know that "reported" cases are not when the cases occurred, and we also know reported cases depend on the quantity of testing + natural delays pic.twitter.com/jAtXxrebyL

— Hold2 (@Hold2LLC) March 3, 2021

explain it to my feeble ape brain, please

and looking at Hold2's other tweets I'm less inclined to believe them