Things you were shockingly old when you learned

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I went to public school up until 8th grade, so survived the hell of public middle school. My private high school had its own deficiencies– I remain terrified of math, fwiw— but we read and wrote like nobody's business. My freshman year, I wrote a 35 page research paper on the EZLN and land struggle in Mexico, and my sophomore year English teacher just had a poem published in the Editorial section of the NYTimes this past weekend.

(It was a very progressive Quaker school, and yes, I had a partial scholarship)

it's like edging for your mind (the table is the table), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 18:29 (three years ago) link

All that said, while I can do a lot of mental math of the four basic functions pretty easily, anything beyond that is off the table. I don't remember how to do most algebra, or geomentry, and I got a C- in trig and never took a math class again.

it's like edging for your mind (the table is the table), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 18:30 (three years ago) link

I once wrote a poem about President Bush (H.W.) getting lost in a mall

"Salvation Army FUCK!" (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 18:31 (three years ago) link

anything beyond that is off the table

Tee hee.

pomenitul, Tuesday, 16 March 2021 18:31 (three years ago) link

I once went on an epic rant about neoliberalism in my senior Philosophy seminar, stormed out of the class, then returned after smoking cigarette at "the corner," which was within sight of the school, but was technically off school grounds.

Good thing that teacher loved me.

it's like edging for your mind (the table is the table), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 20:19 (three years ago) link

pvmicc

Canon in Deez (silby), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 20:28 (three years ago) link

-c

Canon in Deez (silby), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 20:28 (three years ago) link

yep, some things haven't changed

it's like edging for your mind (the table is the table), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 21:22 (three years ago) link

I use geometry all the time (graphic design, technical drawing, even just practical interior stuff like how do we arrange our furniture). Geometry is lovely.

Algebra I can still kinda manage, but trigonometry, calculus, etc. simply never happened for me and never will

imagine flagons (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 21:47 (three years ago) link

pvmicc

― Canon in Deez (silby), Tuesday, March 16, 2021 4:28 PM bookmarkflaglink

this is the way Crips post to ILX

"Salvation Army FUCK!" (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 22:08 (three years ago) link

I have quite fine spatial reasoning and use geometry in some form quite a bit, as I think many people do. But if you asked me to write out a proof, I'd be baffled

it's like edging for your mind (the table is the table), Wednesday, 17 March 2021 02:16 (three years ago) link

I only just realised that the (derogatory?) name for an Irishman, paddy, is from Saint Paddy. I must be a total idiot.

assert (MatthewK), Thursday, 18 March 2021 13:08 (three years ago) link

I assumed it had something to do with potatoes but yup that seems more accurate

Nhex, Thursday, 18 March 2021 13:11 (three years ago) link

I don't think it has anything to do with St. Patrick directly, it's more about Patrick being a common first name for Irishman, or perceived to be, they're also called Micks and Scotsman are called Jocks for the same reason.

Duncan Disorderly (Tom D.), Thursday, 18 March 2021 13:20 (three years ago) link

The English are good at coming up with nicknames for people who aren't English.

Duncan Disorderly (Tom D.), Thursday, 18 March 2021 13:21 (three years ago) link

"I can't remember that Irish guy's name". "Oh they're all called Paddy anyway".

https://www.independent.ie/business/brexit/why-isnt-he-called-murphy-like-the-rest-of-them-johnsons-alleged-remark-on-varadkar-38329476.html

Duncan Disorderly (Tom D.), Thursday, 18 March 2021 13:24 (three years ago) link

Pat is short for Patrick

Paddy is short for Padraic

Thank you for coming to my pat talk

vaya con carne (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 18 March 2021 17:21 (three years ago) link

Patty is short for Patricia

(Sorry, forgot to add that)

vaya con carne (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 18 March 2021 17:21 (three years ago) link

patty is short for a burger
Gets a bit taller if you add a bun

Stevolende, Thursday, 18 March 2021 17:27 (three years ago) link

Paddy is short for Patrick too. Then of course there's...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Packie_Bonner

Duncan Disorderly (Tom D.), Thursday, 18 March 2021 17:40 (three years ago) link

What's green and stays out in the rain?

Paddy O'Furniture.

nickn, Thursday, 18 March 2021 18:21 (three years ago) link

thank you for refining my ignorance

assert (MatthewK), Thursday, 18 March 2021 20:00 (three years ago) link

puerto rico is further east than maine

map ca. 1890 (map), Friday, 19 March 2021 17:27 (three years ago) link

i miss my business trips to San Juan so much :(

"Salvation Army FUCK!" (Neanderthal), Friday, 19 March 2021 18:47 (three years ago) link

the website Pitchfork is probably named for the idea of critics coming at things with pitchforks, rather than it just being some random arbitrary word to name a music publication.

this honking's on a bobo (Doctor Casino), Friday, 19 March 2021 22:41 (three years ago) link

Pitchfork's pointed digs are no accident. The name, Schreiber says, came from the gangster epic "Scarface," in which Tony Montana's pitchfork tattoo is said to be code for an assassin.

"When I started out, it was about really laying into people who really deserved it,"

visiting, Friday, 19 March 2021 22:51 (three years ago) link

glad that's no longer what people think is cool

Canon in Deez (silby), Friday, 19 March 2021 22:57 (three years ago) link

maybe being like self-consciously and self-aggrandizingly kind is a bit cringe sometimes but god

Canon in Deez (silby), Friday, 19 March 2021 22:58 (three years ago) link

Blues Boy King

Also: 'Unchained Melody' is a cover, the original of which was released a decade before the Righteous Brothers' version.

Clem McFlannery's Clam Phlegm Cannery (Old Lunch), Friday, 19 March 2021 23:00 (three years ago) link

Because I read so many old kids' books and rarely injured myself, I got to the age of 31 still thinking that if I ever had to get stitches for a cut it would be done without anesthetic. When I slammed my finger in a door and had to get it stitched, I went in prepared to grit my teeth through the pain of the stitches, and was pleasantly surprised when they just numbed my finger up.

Lily Dale, Friday, 19 March 2021 23:26 (three years ago) link

"Ok, now listen. I know you're pretty happy with your spoons, right? Just scoop everything up and there you go. And of course, can't say enough about knives. They slice, they dice, yadda yadda yadda. But let me ask you this: What if you had a utensil somewhere in between, something you could use to gently pick, poke and prod your food -- without making a mess?"

pplains, Saturday, 20 March 2021 00:15 (three years ago) link

Whatever else threw me to greenspun ilx in 01-02, it came across gen’l shit it involved with pitchfork, and i quickly learned ryan was not worth attn. how that fits the great chain of being...🤷🏻‍♂️

pence's eye juice (Hunt3r), Saturday, 20 March 2021 01:08 (three years ago) link

Just heard the Patti Page song 'Mama From the Train' for the first time, featuring the lyric:

Throw mama from the train.........a kiss, a kiss

Clem McFlannery's Clam Phlegm Cannery (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 24 March 2021 13:02 (three years ago) link

I have no idea how I ended up thinking this in the first place, but from late 1996 until a few minutes ago I was certain that it was George Segal's voice talking about parking tickets in the middle of DJ Shadow's 'Stem / Long Stem'

joygoat, Wednesday, 24 March 2021 18:13 (three years ago) link

when i was a child i thought that woody harrelson sang the cheer's theme song

《Myst1kOblivi0n》 (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 24 March 2021 18:15 (three years ago) link

lol, jim. They liked it so much they made him a cast member several years later!

xpost joygoat, I thought the exact same thing. Although I don't remember when I was disabused of the notion and I don't remember who it actually is. The vocal resemblance is uncanny, though.

You Can't Have the Woogie Without a Little Boogie (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 24 March 2021 18:23 (three years ago) link

You can clean a thermos interior with Polident denture cleaner, the plop-plot-fizz-fizz tablets... takes the tannins and stains right off.

Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 24 March 2021 18:37 (three years ago) link

i initially thought stem/long stem featured elliott gould

mookieproof, Thursday, 25 March 2021 00:06 (three years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhFK80q9Tjk

Number None, Thursday, 25 March 2021 11:54 (three years ago) link

JUst finding out what a negative force timing was in the fall of the Inka empire. Pisarro arriving just as Attawalpa arrives in Qosco after getting rid of his rival for the fringe teh symbol of Inka leadership. Though the civil war that had just transpired might just mean that things were already in trouble as did Attawalpa being the son of a first cousin not a sister of his father.

Stevolende, Thursday, 25 March 2021 12:19 (three years ago) link

Attawalpa being the son of a first cousin not a sister of his father.

Errrrrrrrr, exsqueeze me?

Duncan Disorderly (Tom D.), Thursday, 25 March 2021 12:53 (three years ago) link

As I kid, I thought Nicholas Lyndhurst was singing the theme tune of Only Fools and Horses.

I have no couch and I must stream (NotEnough), Thursday, 25 March 2021 14:47 (three years ago) link

As a grown man of 35, David Walliams believed that Dennis Waterman wrote the theme song to Minder.

armoured van, Holden (sic), Thursday, 25 March 2021 15:40 (three years ago) link

Mike Nichols had a rare reaction to a defective whooping-cough vaccine as a child that caused him to lose all of his hair, head and body, and in addition to wearing a wig even had to apply eyebrows and eyelashes every morning for the rest of his life.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 25 March 2021 16:15 (three years ago) link

OK, that's a new on me too.

Duncan Disorderly (Tom D.), Thursday, 25 March 2021 16:33 (three years ago) link

In that oral history biography of Nichols from 2019 someone in it, I forget who, described him as a man who had no face. I guess because of the hair loss and the general slightness of his features.

Josefa, Thursday, 25 March 2021 16:52 (three years ago) link

Whoa @ Nichols news. Next thing I know you'll tell me all four of May's limbs were prostheses.

You Can't Have the Woogie Without a Little Boogie (Old Lunch), Thursday, 25 March 2021 16:54 (three years ago) link

As I kid, I thought Nicholas Lyndhurst was singing the theme tune of Only Fools and Horses.

― I have no couch and I must stream (NotEnough), Thursday, March 25, 2021 7:47 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

SAME!

《Myst1kOblivi0n》 (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 25 March 2021 17:00 (three years ago) link

i feel seen

《Myst1kOblivi0n》 (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 25 March 2021 17:00 (three years ago) link

I am shockingly old and still trying to learn the proper use of toward/towards, forward/forwards, and backward/backwards.

https://www.grammarphobia.com/blog/2009/10/slouching-towards-bethlehem.html

Brad C., Thursday, 25 March 2021 17:12 (three years ago) link


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