6 month roll call - check in here please

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everything sucks, news at 11

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 1 December 2021 04:23 (two years ago) link

oh, VG! so sorry to hear it, even without the details. you aren't one to complain about a few nicks and scratches.

more difficult than I look (Aimless), Wednesday, 1 December 2021 04:26 (two years ago) link

at least i still have this place to air my half-assed takes about north american sports

not joking in the least

mookieproof, Wednesday, 1 December 2021 04:54 (two years ago) link

Doing okay, working too much, husband is ever on the verge of quitting his job but has prospects elsewhere, dogs have some issues but doing okay...I dunno, I've been through some rough patches this year, but considering how terribly many other people I know are doing, I'm okay.

I'm also trying to figure out what I should be focusing on professionally. I'm getting paid to write and teach (in multiple formats to multiple age groups) and edit (both medical editing and manuscript editing), but I would really love to quit medical editing because it is more of 9-5 job and sucks the life out of me...though it pays better than any other gig I've ever had. Trying to ride it out until it seems like I'm able to quit it, but in the meantime, I'm dumb busy.

we need outrage! we need dicks!! (the table is the table), Wednesday, 1 December 2021 21:39 (two years ago) link

doing quite poorly! High five!

brimstead, Wednesday, 1 December 2021 22:05 (two years ago) link

I didn't love everything about my pre-pandemic life but if I could go back 18 months and press pause on everything I wouldn't think twice about doing it. I hope everyone who is struggling at least feels the sense that this won't be like this forever.

boxedjoy, Friday, 3 December 2021 11:42 (two years ago) link

honestly i'm doing pretty good, mental health is better than it has been over the past few years, relationship continues to be very good. work is ok, could be so much worse. i can pay my bills every month with a little left over. actual job is very cush, a few rough bits with the boss but i'm working through them. blocking out family has been a big help. we're entering inversion season here, which means low to mid grade brain pain for me for the next three months, but i'm hanging in there.

poor boyfriend has a bad job working for horrible small business owners, the prospect of what to do next has him feeling a little overwhelmed. seems like the one constant thing in 2021 is the feeling that horrible people demanding exhausting and meaningless work in order for us to survive are sort of retrenching themselves everywhere and everyone is playing along, like of course it has to be this way, and no one has any power to change anything. such whiplash after a year of being shown that all of this damaging shit we're doing is completely made up, unreal, and we could do something different if we weren't so impoverished in the cultural imagination department, weren't quite so addicted to pain and ignorance.

Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Friday, 3 December 2021 17:42 (two years ago) link

Checking in to report new house, new dog, new job on way and all well

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Friday, 3 December 2021 18:14 (two years ago) link

such whiplash after a year of being shown that all of this damaging shit we're doing is completely made up, unreal, and we could do something different if we weren't so impoverished in the cultural imagination department, weren't quite so addicted to pain and ignorance.

This is so otm and what keeps eating away at me. Watching decision makers and people "in charge" slide immediately back into damaging and unhealthy patterns and ways of working that were proven to be completely unnecessary only a year ago has been so utterly demoralizing. It bleeds over into so much other areas of life that I just feel really hopeless, if this couldn't instigate meaningful change, what hope in hell do we have of tacking the even larger issues (i.e. climate change).

a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 3 December 2021 18:28 (two years ago) link

Typed out some despairing thoughts that I decided not to post, short response is mental & emotional health moderately worse over 2021. But career, relationship, & material conditions are all either the same or better, so thats good.
As stressful and traumatic as 2020 was, looking back the dominant emotion that colors my memories of it is gratitude - I often found myself almost physically overwhelmed with gratitude, counting blessings constantly, seeing everything with fresh eyes, understanding myself, my relationships, and my priorities in ways that I never before had, etc. At the end of 2021, lets just say that headspace is much much harder for me to access. But I am trying hard not to lose sight of it.

To keep it positive, one good thing is that after going through long stretches of the pandemic feeling like I basically never want to write or create again, I stumbled into a project that interests me & feels worth doing for the first time in a long time, and have been enjoying getting back in touch with the feeling of working on something youre really excited about. So, small things.

On that note: congrats Lily Dale, really been enjoying the Springsteen pieces you've been posting.

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Friday, 3 December 2021 19:04 (two years ago) link

i felt like i could have written myself (in much poorer fashion) this excerpt from a recent Justin EH Smith substack

At many points over the past decades I have managed to convince even myself that I am cured. In fact I had managed to do this for almost twenty years, until the beginning of the pandemic, when the repressed returned with a vengeance. I do not believe that I “came down with depression” at that moment, and I especially hate the French habit of speaking of “une dépression”, as if the condition were as individuable and as temporally bounded as a cold. Just as inadequate is the oft-repeated Churchillian metaphor of depression as “the black dog”. If only it were a black dog, I could just kick the fucking thing away. I do not “have” “a” depression, let alone a depression hounding me in the form of an external malevolent agent. Rather, I am depressed, and certain circumstances make this fact less easy to ignore than others. In the event, the circumstances surely had something to do with the first lockdown of March, 2020, which we endured in Brooklyn, right next to the hospital in Fort Greene where they stored the corpses outside in refrigerated trucks. My own experience of covid was mild in its symptoms, but I emerged from lockdown transformed, physically and psychologically.

I will try to describe in a few words what it has been like since then. The most striking thing about this new life is that the whole world looks to me somewhat the way our elementary schools look to us when we revisit them as adults: a place we don’t belong anymore, a place that seems so much smaller and so much more modest than we had once taken it to be, so disenchanted that one is left perplexed as to how it could ever have been the source of such wild flights of the hopeful imagination. Life has a quality now that can only be described as “spectral”. I have sometimes imagined that I must have ended up in one of those refrigerated trucks myself, and everything I’ve experienced since then is just me haunting the old sites of my life, as in the Nicole Kidman vehicle The Others (2001) where she believes her home is infested by poltergeists but slowly comes to realize she and her kids are the ghosts, while the “ghosts” that torment her are just regular human beings.

A second feature of this new “mature” manifestation of depression (as opposed to its “juvenile” expressions in California, New York, Ohio) is what the diagnosticians sometimes call “derealization”. I have moments where I just cannot believe that any of this is real. I used to mock Nick Bostrom’s “simulation hypothesis”; now, most of the time, it seems to me intuitively obvious (if still not for the reasons he thinks) that the world is not at all what we take it to be. This shift manifests itself partly in a collapse of the system of values that had previously enabled me to take seriously all the clamoring after social distinctions —all the prizes and acclaim I used to find it meaningful to seek— that keep our institutions running and our little lives full. But more strongly, at certain moments I find myself literally unable to comprehend how I ever could have taken the social bodies that offer the prizes and acclaim, or indeed the opprobrium and rejection, to be in any sense real.

This derealization surely has something to do with the very real historical process of dematerialization: institutions really are disintegrating as they shift to videoconferencing and e-mail as the primary channels of their endurance. What made universities real for some centuries, for example, were in large part their august edifices. These still exist, generally, but they seem increasingly disconnected from whatever it is we still pretend to be doing under the universitarian banner. Anxiety enables me to keep doing my work under this same banner, but I find myself unable to recall how I once accepted it all, unquestioningly, as real. At its most intense, my incomprehension extends not just to social reality (work, recipes, “sport”, popular entertainments, and most of all politics), but to all reality: I can’t make any sense of what the edifices themselves are supposed to be, or clothes, or utensils. Unlike for Bostrom, most of the time the one thing that does not become “glitchy” for me, does not begin to show signs of its simulated character, is nature. But nature loves to hide, as Heraclitus said, and to have it alone as the one thing that appears real, while suitable for isolated contemplation, is hardly sufficient to provide the experience of community that sustains a properly human life.

A third feature of this mature depression is the way it affects my moral character, no matter how much rhetoric is invested in the idea that it’s “just a disease” like any other. I have already described it is a “disease” that has dishonesty as one of its symptoms. Another symptom is that it makes a person —let’s be frank— a real jerk. In my own case I definitely discern a correlation between the occasional remission of feelings of depression, on the one hand, and my capacity for generosity or big-heartedness on the other. Eric Schwitzgebel has provocatively argued that if you are surrounded by fools, you’re probably a jerk. When I am depressed I tend to conclude from his argument, very much against the grain, that I must be a jerk, because everyone around me is definitely a fool. Schwitzgebel of course means to dispel the idea that others are really fools, by “reducing” their foolishness to a mere effect of the perceiver’s “jerkitude”. But depression militates in favor of a “Copernican revolution” in the new field of jerk theory.

Here is how the foolishness of humanity manifests itself. We have become familiar in the social-media era with the notion of “copypasta”, where people with no real thoughts of their own simply reproduce the language of others, and attempt to pass this off as political engagement, for example regarding the “problematic” character of Disney princesses. But in deep depression, every human utterance sounds like copypasta; everyone sounds as if they are simply channeling the language of others. Proust thus comes to seem a rare and loyal friend to the isolated depressive, when for example his narrator dissects the new phrases and idiosyncracies in the language of Albertine, to discern, in his own internal Académie Française, exactly who she has been seeing since she returned to Paris from Balbec at the end of summer. She thinks she’s just “being herself”, with all that language; he thinks she’s just delivering so much copypasta.

It is terrifying and alienating to apprehend all language in that way, and the easiest reaction is misanthropy. One is wrong, of course, morally wrong, to react in this way, and the Copernican revolution in this case cannot really succeed. It is, as Schwitzgebel claims, jerkitude that gives rise to the appearance of foolishness, and not foolishness that justifies jerkitude. But depression is a strange disease, and we will never be able to adequately deal with it if we pretend it’s just like diabetes or whatever. Depression makes you a jerk. One should not be a jerk. Ergo, if depression is a disease, it is a disease that it is morally wrong to have.

When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 4 December 2021 19:21 (two years ago) link

bruh

calstars, Saturday, 4 December 2021 20:01 (two years ago) link

Though I don't feel particularly depressed (tbf I don't feel particularly not-depressed either; increasingly I don't feel particularly anything), this passage rings true to my current sense of the world.

This derealization surely has something to do with the very real historical process of dematerialization: institutions really are disintegrating as they shift to videoconferencing and e-mail as the primary channels of their endurance. What made universities real for some centuries, for example, were in large part their august edifices. These still exist, generally, but they seem increasingly disconnected from whatever it is we still pretend to be doing under the universitarian banner. Anxiety enables me to keep doing my work under this same banner, but I find myself unable to recall how I once accepted it all, unquestioningly, as real.

I'm not very good at holding things in my brain that are not in front of me, and so what's happening to my world seems sort of like a large-scale version of what happens when I open Spotify or go on Netflix instead of looking at a music collection or wandering through a video store; the huge range of possibility - people, places, friendships, activities - that I theoretically know is out there is almost entirely invisible and inaccessible to me. It's all abstract, hard to call to mind, easy to forget, because it's not there in front of me anymore. And so my world gets smaller and smaller as I cycle through the tiny set of options that are within my field of vision.

Lily Dale, Saturday, 4 December 2021 21:50 (two years ago) link

I feel like such an asshole when I "take stock" because both 2020 and 2021 have been pretty goddamn good years for me and my wife. The only person we personally know who's died of COVID is our landlord (bitter lol); I've been working steadily — in more or less the same field as table, though I'd really like to get some of that sweet medical editing ca$h instead of working on people's YA fantasy trilogies — and doing interesting personal stuff (wrote a book which is coming out in January, and had enough money to hire a publicist to promote it, so it might even sell). Work's slowing down a bit this month, so I'm setting up a big project, and of course I'm panicked that that's going to turn to shit somehow, but maybe it won't!

I turn 50 in almost exactly two weeks, and feel pretty good about that and pretty good in general — I've almost entirely given up eating meat and am noticing a lot of changes around that; I don't fall asleep immediately after meals anymore, and my blood sugar's going down. I have more ideas than I have time to devote to them (I'm working on a proposal for another book, and brainstorming a novel, and running a website/podcast/record label)... so, my sympathies to anyone who's having a tough time of it. I guess I'm just someone who was born to live this way.

but also fuck you (unperson), Saturday, 4 December 2021 22:59 (two years ago) link

2020 was the worst year of my life by quite a long shot, 2021 hasn't been a lot better tbh but nobody died yet so I suppose that's a win

bovarism, Saturday, 4 December 2021 23:37 (two years ago) link


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