Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2022

idk what that means. beyond it being a scream sequel i think it's worth looking forward to bc it's radio silence's follow-up to ready or not

nu-Halloween films are stupid but entirely entertaining, I give them a pass.

There are a lot of likely terrible movies in this list. Are we really still making Ice Age and Minions movies in 2022?

"DC League of Super-Pets" I hope this is a dark reboot ala Joker

skeptical that the new thor is gonna be as good as the last one, but hey, i guess that's my most anticipated

I’m in on Jackass and curious on Scream and Mission Impossible. Doubt I’ll see anything else on this list.

I couldn't believe just how bad Branagh's Orient Express remake was, don't hold out much hope of him turning it around w Death on the Nile

I'm all-in on Jackass, Thor, maybe Mission, probably Spider-verse. I think Creed III is Michael B. Jordon's directorial debut.

God, why don't they just start putting these movies' release dates into the title?

Would make the thread especially fun given how many of these were due out in 2020 and 2021.

Write in for the matrix which was released close enough to count, especially given how awful everything about it looked from the trailers

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

i thought there was already a Flash movie? the poster is Flash blowing a bubble with bubble gum? did i dream this?

you are thinking perhaps of the epic cinematic masterpiece Shazam

https://rlv.zcache.com/shazam_shazam_blowing_bubble_gum_poster-rd316f2ae891d4fa1a55583a7523b0715_wv4_8byvr_540.jpg

idk I wouldn’t normally associate that title with misremembered, possibly imagined films

ahhh Shazam of course. the movie wasn’t bad iirc!

lightyear feels the most offensive i think

Yeah, Shazam was pretty good.

(And has a sequel out next year of course)

Can't imagine Death on the Nile or the new Fantastic Beasts being anything but awful and surely Top Gun will be a contender.

Lots of worn out dreck here, but The Batman stands out as almost sadistic in trying to beat some more juice out of the horse paste

Though maintaining Harry Potter/JK's public prominence is fairly evil too

Disappointed to discover DC League of Super Pets is an animation

The Top Gun is a McQuarrie joint, so almost certainly a competent entertainment. (Also presumably blatant propaganda, due to being a Top Gun, but that doesn’t necessarily negate the former.)

Lightyear seems the most painfully crass of these, in the way that most decades-later origin stories by different authors degrade both themselves and the original. But perhaps a little more so, inasmuch as the structure of the first couple Toy Stories actively encouraged kids to create their own backstories through play.

Top gun, the batman both look good good not 'in the circumstances' good

Avatar 2 seems like the most predictable of all these. It will be a visual spectacle. It will be bland as hell with characters so insubstantial you must be reminded who they are in every line of dialogue. The story will have a moral which will squat on you as heavily as the knowledge of your own death to come. Good times!

The JK Rowling stuff needs to die but also seems pretty weird to do black panther 2 with no boseman

i hear they fucked up scream

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

They let Trevorrow write and direct another JP movie. lol.

I couldn't believe just how bad Branagh's Orient Express remake was, don't hold out much hope of him turning it around w Death on the Nile

― Ward Fowler

I watched 10 minutes of it and could barely believe how bad it was.

missed this thread. the right pick won, though obviously a great many of these look very bad indeed, especially "Lightyear." the Fantastic Beasts series really has become the ultimate avatar of pointless franchise universe extensions, replacing the Star Wars prequels and Hobbit films for utter superfluity, exhausting bigness, and missing-the-pointness with regard to what people liked about the thing originally.

i feel like this list is WORSE than usual, probably because of the buildup of unreleased dreck from 2020 and 2021. Across the Spider-Verse and Black Panther 2 are the only ones where i'd be surprised if they weren't good or great. Thor, Aquaman, and Dr. Strange all have at least the potential to be entertaining, and entertainingly silly, if viewed in the right mood, assuming the filmmakers don't blow it. and i'm told the Mission Impossible movies are really great, so probably this one will be okay.

i may be alone in actually wanting to see Death on the Nile --- the previous Branagh/Poirot flick made a perfectly pleasant noontime viewing in a cozy theater on a very slushy day. the trailer's pumped-up intensity hasn't exactly gotten me excited, but i'm hoping it's actually another easygoing little movie, and that the trailer people just don't know what to do with that.

of this list, i will likely see thor and jackass

Ahem

#TheBatman runtime has finally been revealed: 2 hours and 47 minutes, without credits. https://t.co/NWjoFtVFgr pic.twitter.com/XpsGmkvkNL

— Variety (@Variety) January 20, 2022

I really hoped Endgame was going to kind of be the peak of this bloated runtime thing, but it's only getting worse. There was no reason the new Bond flick needed to be 163 minutes long (especially considering they still only managed to carve out 5 minutes for Ana de Armas).

yeah I'm not one of those <all movies should be 90 mins> people, but the combined total of live-action Batman movie minutes is an indictment of the human species

Hollywood's creative well has run drier than Death Valley.

kinda wild that there will be no credits in the new batman movie

seriously though, i am hard pressed to imagine needing to ever see another batman movie ever again

well okay, i could see rewatching the burton ones at some point

new one has the penguin and catwoman again

Before The Souvenir Part II (speaking of sequels), I saw the trailer for Death on the Nile. Branagh has clearly NOT toned down what I hated about his Poirot the last time around. Although I might watch it as an exercise in 1930s styling.

Also, there was a trailer for Cyrano, the latest remake of you-know-what, retooled as a vehicle for Peter Dinklage. Is this supposed to be a full-out musical?

i think so, but the trailer seemed almost unwilling to commit to that.

Maybe the new Batman movie is that long because it finally shows how he became Batman.

Got to explain why he never phones his mum

Also, there was a trailer for Cyrano, the latest remake of you-know-what, retooled as a vehicle for Peter Dinklage. Is this supposed to be a full-out musical?

Yeah, it's a musical, and Dinklage sings. His wife wrote the adaptation, apparently.

Mission Impossible bumped to July 2023

(from September 2022, where it was bumped from May 2022, where it was bumped from November 2021, where it was bumped from July 2021)

Tom Cruise is gonna be dead before that movie opens.

here's hoping

i'd watch a new three hour batman movie if it was a musical
or rather i would watch the first ten minutes

i hear they fucked up scream

― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Sunday, January 16, 2022 1:31 PM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

honestly they did not fuck it up enough

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoIrmLrpdo0

hey no spoilers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbVpSbchFrU

tom gun drops to his knees to make out with the zip in ice kilmer's stomach, tony scott returns from the dead to light the strands of saliva between tongue cruise and val's cancer

excellent review Brad!

i also enjoyed it more than I expected... it's very well constructed as a war-sport-mission-popcorn movie. agreed that the romance doesn't quite sing, but those scenes still has more in them for me than all the stuff with the generic new recruits. although i guess it worked for some --- when the shithead guy steps up and does something useful, a mild round of applause went up from somewhere in the auditorium. my partner whispered to me, baffled: "who's a fan of Hangman?!

but the real step down from the original was aesthetic... Scott and the score gave it this amazing hazy overpowering quality that's really been smoothed out here.

also i couldn't get past how stupid their mission was. really? there's no other way to do this? what if you sent in, idk, a slightly higher number of planes. oh right, only the enemy has the super advanced unstoppable Fifth Generation Fighters. clearly we've starved the Pentagon for too long.

put me down as someone for whom the new recruits worked, but that's prob because they're like the crew of a slasher film, all paper-thin archetypes

I kept thinking of the Futurama line about "a dedicated young man, with no characteristics."

lol

this could easily become "most promising" if they do the right thing and cast danny devito as the title character

A live-action film is in development based on the classic arcade game with an endless appetite, #PacMan https://t.co/Z6nBd7qgmD pic.twitter.com/aG98LUtTym

— The Hollywood Reporter (@THR) August 8, 2022

predator 5 best predator

Y’all have almost convinced me to watch it.

All the manbabies on Twitter whining about the ending has convinced me to watch it.

I thought Prey was...well, I didn't much like the original Predator to begin with (never saw any of the other sequels). Liked the girl, liked the dog, liked the setting, but I found a lot of the action hard to follow, to the extent that I had to rewind a couple of scenes to be sure what was going on. I'm happy that people are happy, though.

it definitely feels like it's being overrated just for not being bad. it isn't bad, but it isn't particularly good either. acting was fine, the effects were pretty good, i didn't have a problem with the action, but there was nothing in particular in it that excited me or seemed especially interesting.

i do agree that i enjoyed it more than the o.g. Predator, which i rewatched recently and is a very unpleasant movie

the animal disembowelment in Prey i found extremely unpleasant. was going to watch it with the boys but the 10 yo loves animals of all kinds and i think would be pretty upset by it

that said it looks absolutely amazing on a good tv (brag brag)

Today in S/R/F news…

"Disney+ added that the new series, TWO GIANT GORILLAS FUCKING, will most likely reside behind the age-restriction barriers on the streaming service." https://t.co/oX3GVdcnIx

— DrewMcWeeny (@DrewMcWeeny) August 23, 2022

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imn_gHwvUmc

"fletch, confess" with jon hamm as fletch

preview is promising? feels like they're trying to cash in on "knives out" kinda but a few lines made me chuckle

sorry "confess, fletch"

I...kinda want to see that.

The novel (and the whole Fletch series) are drier and smarter than the Chevy Chase movie suggests. And solid plots. Hamm seems like a great choice.

I read three or four of the novels as a teenager, around the time the movie came out. They were good; I wonder if they'd stand up now.

I seen Confess, Fletch this week and it was dreadful. Enough very good or competent people involved to wonder why it fell so flat.

i thought it was pretty ok! i lol’d throughout, maybe too loudly on the plane. i will not remember a thing about it by tomorrow

The actual mystery plot itself was fine but 98% of the jokes just died horribly. It wasn't even that they were terrible jokes but something about the delivery felt really off. One of the worst films I've seen in a while.

Not gonna go to bat very hard for it but my experience was more like Brad's: amusing and diverting enough, and I lolled several times. I'd watch another sequel, though I have doubts this was successful enough to make another

loved the rookie detective getting constantly outfletched by fletch

Not as good as a Fletch book, but a good modern adaptation of a Fletch book. Would happily watch two a year.