God, why don't they just start putting these movies' release dates into the title?Would make the thread especially fun given how many of these were due out in 2020 and 2021.
― dark end of the st. maud (sic), Tuesday, 4 January 2022 00:39 (two years ago) link
Write in for the matrix which was released close enough to count, especially given how awful everything about it looked from the trailers
― pandmac (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 January 2022 00:46 (two years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.
― System, Sunday, 16 January 2022 00:01 (two years ago) link
i thought there was already a Flash movie? the poster is Flash blowing a bubble with bubble gum? did i dream this?
― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 16 January 2022 01:08 (two years ago) link
you are thinking perhaps of the epic cinematic masterpiece Shazam
https://rlv.zcache.com/shazam_shazam_blowing_bubble_gum_poster-rd316f2ae891d4fa1a55583a7523b0715_wv4_8byvr_540.jpg
― cowboy bopeep (cat), Sunday, 16 January 2022 03:01 (two years ago) link
idk I wouldn’t normally associate that title with misremembered, possibly imagined films
― Nerd Ragequit (wins), Sunday, 16 January 2022 13:19 (two years ago) link
ahhh Shazam of course. the movie wasn’t bad iirc!
― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 16 January 2022 13:33 (two years ago) link
lightyear feels the most offensive i think
― ciderpress, Sunday, 16 January 2022 13:36 (two years ago) link
Yeah, Shazam was pretty good. (And has a sequel out next year of course)
― groovypanda, Sunday, 16 January 2022 13:38 (two years ago) link
Can't imagine Death on the Nile or the new Fantastic Beasts being anything but awful and surely Top Gun will be a contender.
― groovypanda, Sunday, 16 January 2022 13:40 (two years ago) link
Lots of worn out dreck here, but The Batman stands out as almost sadistic in trying to beat some more juice out of the horse paste
― rob, Sunday, 16 January 2022 15:40 (two years ago) link
Though maintaining Harry Potter/JK's public prominence is fairly evil too
― rob, Sunday, 16 January 2022 15:42 (two years ago) link
Disappointed to discover DC League of Super Pets is an animation
― Khafre's clown (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 16 January 2022 18:02 (two years ago) link
The Top Gun is a McQuarrie joint, so almost certainly a competent entertainment. (Also presumably blatant propaganda, due to being a Top Gun, but that doesn’t necessarily negate the former.)Lightyear seems the most painfully crass of these, in the way that most decades-later origin stories by different authors degrade both themselves and the original. But perhaps a little more so, inasmuch as the structure of the first couple Toy Stories actively encouraged kids to create their own backstories through play.
― dark end of the st. maud (sic), Sunday, 16 January 2022 18:26 (two years ago) link
Top gun, the batman both look good good not 'in the circumstances' good
― Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Sunday, 16 January 2022 19:19 (two years ago) link
Avatar 2 seems like the most predictable of all these. It will be a visual spectacle. It will be bland as hell with characters so insubstantial you must be reminded who they are in every line of dialogue. The story will have a moral which will squat on you as heavily as the knowledge of your own death to come. Good times!
― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Sunday, 16 January 2022 19:35 (two years ago) link
The JK Rowling stuff needs to die but also seems pretty weird to do black panther 2 with no boseman
― salsa shark, Sunday, 16 January 2022 20:22 (two years ago) link
i hear they fucked up scream
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 16 January 2022 20:31 (two years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.
― System, Monday, 17 January 2022 00:01 (two years ago) link
They let Trevorrow write and direct another JP movie. lol.
I couldn't believe just how bad Branagh's Orient Express remake was, don't hold out much hope of him turning it around w Death on the Nile― Ward Fowler
― Ward Fowler
I watched 10 minutes of it and could barely believe how bad it was.
― adam t. (abanana), Monday, 17 January 2022 16:44 (two years ago) link
missed this thread. the right pick won, though obviously a great many of these look very bad indeed, especially "Lightyear." the Fantastic Beasts series really has become the ultimate avatar of pointless franchise universe extensions, replacing the Star Wars prequels and Hobbit films for utter superfluity, exhausting bigness, and missing-the-pointness with regard to what people liked about the thing originally.
i feel like this list is WORSE than usual, probably because of the buildup of unreleased dreck from 2020 and 2021. Across the Spider-Verse and Black Panther 2 are the only ones where i'd be surprised if they weren't good or great. Thor, Aquaman, and Dr. Strange all have at least the potential to be entertaining, and entertainingly silly, if viewed in the right mood, assuming the filmmakers don't blow it. and i'm told the Mission Impossible movies are really great, so probably this one will be okay.
i may be alone in actually wanting to see Death on the Nile --- the previous Branagh/Poirot flick made a perfectly pleasant noontime viewing in a cozy theater on a very slushy day. the trailer's pumped-up intensity hasn't exactly gotten me excited, but i'm hoping it's actually another easygoing little movie, and that the trailer people just don't know what to do with that.
― I Am Fribbulus (Xax) (Doctor Casino), Monday, 17 January 2022 17:42 (two years ago) link
of this list, i will likely see thor and jackass
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Monday, 17 January 2022 20:50 (two years ago) link
Ahem
#TheBatman runtime has finally been revealed: 2 hours and 47 minutes, without credits. https://t.co/NWjoFtVFgr pic.twitter.com/XpsGmkvkNL— Variety (@Variety) January 20, 2022
― in the time of NFTs I bought a monkey (rob), Thursday, 20 January 2022 21:35 (two years ago) link
I really hoped Endgame was going to kind of be the peak of this bloated runtime thing, but it's only getting worse. There was no reason the new Bond flick needed to be 163 minutes long (especially considering they still only managed to carve out 5 minutes for Ana de Armas).
― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, 20 January 2022 21:38 (two years ago) link
yeah I'm not one of those <all movies should be 90 mins> people, but the combined total of live-action Batman movie minutes is an indictment of the human species
― in the time of NFTs I bought a monkey (rob), Thursday, 20 January 2022 21:45 (two years ago) link
Hollywood's creative well has run drier than Death Valley.
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Thursday, 20 January 2022 21:54 (two years ago) link
kinda wild that there will be no credits in the new batman movie
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Friday, 21 January 2022 05:05 (two years ago) link
seriously though, i am hard pressed to imagine needing to ever see another batman movie ever again
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Friday, 21 January 2022 05:06 (two years ago) link
well okay, i could see rewatching the burton ones at some point
new one has the penguin and catwoman again
― adam t. (abanana), Friday, 21 January 2022 05:17 (two years ago) link
Before The Souvenir Part II (speaking of sequels), I saw the trailer for Death on the Nile. Branagh has clearly NOT toned down what I hated about his Poirot the last time around. Although I might watch it as an exercise in 1930s styling.
Also, there was a trailer for Cyrano, the latest remake of you-know-what, retooled as a vehicle for Peter Dinklage. Is this supposed to be a full-out musical?
― Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Sunday, 23 January 2022 01:02 (two years ago) link
i think so, but the trailer seemed almost unwilling to commit to that.
― I Am Fribbulus (Xax) (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 23 January 2022 01:12 (two years ago) link
Maybe the new Batman movie is that long because it finally shows how he became Batman.
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 23 January 2022 01:24 (two years ago) link
Got to explain why he never phones his mum
― adam t. (abanana), Sunday, 23 January 2022 01:42 (two years ago) link
Yeah, it's a musical, and Dinklage sings. His wife wrote the adaptation, apparently.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Sunday, 23 January 2022 02:45 (two years ago) link
Mission Impossible bumped to July 2023
(from September 2022, where it was bumped from May 2022, where it was bumped from November 2021, where it was bumped from July 2021)
― dark end of the st. maud (sic), Sunday, 23 January 2022 08:14 (two years ago) link
Tom Cruise is gonna be dead before that movie opens.
― Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Sunday, 23 January 2022 13:09 (two years ago) link
here's hoping
― Buchiko and The Man (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 23 January 2022 13:28 (two years ago) link
i'd watch a new three hour batman movie if it was a musicalor rather i would watch the first ten minutes
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 23 January 2022 17:29 (two years ago) link
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Sunday, January 16, 2022 1:31 PM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink
honestly they did not fuck it up enough
― STOCK FIST-PUMPER BRAD (BradNelson), Sunday, 23 January 2022 17:31 (two years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoIrmLrpdo0
― adam t. (abanana), Sunday, 23 January 2022 17:32 (two years ago) link
hey no spoilers
― nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Sunday, 23 January 2022 17:34 (two years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbVpSbchFrU
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 23 January 2022 17:35 (two years ago) link
I guess these aren't remakes/sequels but jesus christ:
Warner Bros. is in prep for “Barbie,” starring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling and directed by Greta Gerwig, who co-wrote the screenplay with partner Noah Baumbach. They’re also at script stage on a Hot Wheels film. In July, Netflix will shoot the anticipated remount of “Masters of the Universe,” with Kyle Allen starring as the buff, blonde He-Man. Universal Pictures is at work on a horror franchise based on Magic 8 Ball with Blumhouse, and the studio is bringing Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots to life with Vin Diesel. At Paramount, Tom Hanks will embody his childhood favorite Major Matt Mason, the astronaut action figure, with “A Beautiful Mind” screenwriter Akiva Goldsman, and MGM will put forth Polly Pocket with writer-director Lena Dunham and star Lily Collins.
https://variety.com/2022/film/news/mattel-films-robbie-brenner-barbie-he-man-1235166459/
― rob, Saturday, 29 January 2022 16:03 (two years ago) link
OTOH I would maybe watch a documentary about serious adult humans making these movies:
"Jason Bateman’s Aggregate Films is also at work on movies based on the Mattel dolls Chatty Cathy and Betsy Wetsy."
― rob, Saturday, 29 January 2022 16:04 (two years ago) link
hardcore pornographers reading that line: "yikes that sounds undignified"
― rob, Saturday, 29 January 2022 16:05 (two years ago) link
Lena dunham’s polly pocket movie, what a world
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 29 January 2022 16:23 (two years ago) link
This isn't even set to start filming until this year, reportedly, but, uh ...
In June 2016, writer Randall Wallace stated that he and Gibson had begun work on a sequel to The Passion of the Christ focusing on the resurrection of Jesus. ... He implied that part of the movie would be taking place in Hell and, while talking to Raymond Arroyo, said that it also may show flashbacks depicting the fall of the Angels.In January 2018, Caviezel was in agreements with Mel Gibson to reprise his role as Jesus in the sequel. In March 2020, Caviezel stated in an interview that the film was in its fifth draft. However, in September 2020, Caviezel then said that Gibson had sent him the third draft of the screenplay.After many years of delay, the production is starting in the summer of 2022. The sequel will be released exactly 20 years after The Passion of the Christ, in February 2024.
In January 2018, Caviezel was in agreements with Mel Gibson to reprise his role as Jesus in the sequel. In March 2020, Caviezel stated in an interview that the film was in its fifth draft. However, in September 2020, Caviezel then said that Gibson had sent him the third draft of the screenplay.
After many years of delay, the production is starting in the summer of 2022. The sequel will be released exactly 20 years after The Passion of the Christ, in February 2024.
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 30 January 2022 20:09 (two years ago) link
holding out hope for a slate of Apostle spinoff films to be announced at this year's Comic Con
― The creator of Ultra Games, for Nintendo (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 30 January 2022 20:15 (two years ago) link
Jesus Christ
― Nerd Ragequit (wins), Sunday, 30 January 2022 20:29 (two years ago) link
predator 5 best predator
― Vance Vance Devolution (sic), Monday, 8 August 2022 19:34 (one year ago) link
Y’all have almost convinced me to watch it.
― Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Monday, 8 August 2022 20:33 (one year ago) link
All the manbabies on Twitter whining about the ending has convinced me to watch it.
― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 8 August 2022 20:40 (one year ago) link
I thought Prey was...well, I didn't much like the original Predator to begin with (never saw any of the other sequels). Liked the girl, liked the dog, liked the setting, but I found a lot of the action hard to follow, to the extent that I had to rewind a couple of scenes to be sure what was going on. I'm happy that people are happy, though.
― Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Friday, 19 August 2022 17:02 (one year ago) link
it definitely feels like it's being overrated just for not being bad. it isn't bad, but it isn't particularly good either. acting was fine, the effects were pretty good, i didn't have a problem with the action, but there was nothing in particular in it that excited me or seemed especially interesting.
― na (NA), Friday, 19 August 2022 17:15 (one year ago) link
i do agree that i enjoyed it more than the o.g. Predator, which i rewatched recently and is a very unpleasant movie
― na (NA), Friday, 19 August 2022 17:16 (one year ago) link
the animal disembowelment in Prey i found extremely unpleasant. was going to watch it with the boys but the 10 yo loves animals of all kinds and i think would be pretty upset by it
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 19 August 2022 18:40 (one year ago) link
that said it looks absolutely amazing on a good tv (brag brag)
Today in S/R/F news…
"Disney+ added that the new series, TWO GIANT GORILLAS FUCKING, will most likely reside behind the age-restriction barriers on the streaming service." https://t.co/oX3GVdcnIx— DrewMcWeeny (@DrewMcWeeny) August 23, 2022
― Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 23 August 2022 23:30 (one year ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imn_gHwvUmc
"fletch, confess" with jon hamm as fletch
preview is promising? feels like they're trying to cash in on "knives out" kinda but a few lines made me chuckle
― na (NA), Thursday, 25 August 2022 19:34 (one year ago) link
sorry "confess, fletch"
I...kinda want to see that.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Thursday, 25 August 2022 19:41 (one year ago) link
The novel (and the whole Fletch series) are drier and smarter than the Chevy Chase movie suggests. And solid plots. Hamm seems like a great choice.
― The self-titled drags (Eazy), Thursday, 25 August 2022 22:14 (one year ago) link
I read three or four of the novels as a teenager, around the time the movie came out. They were good; I wonder if they'd stand up now.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Thursday, 25 August 2022 22:29 (one year ago) link
I seen Confess, Fletch this week and it was dreadful. Enough very good or competent people involved to wonder why it fell so flat.
― Robert Adam Gilmour, Saturday, 26 November 2022 20:06 (one year ago) link
i thought it was pretty ok! i lol’d throughout, maybe too loudly on the plane. i will not remember a thing about it by tomorrow
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Saturday, 26 November 2022 20:54 (one year ago) link
The actual mystery plot itself was fine but 98% of the jokes just died horribly. It wasn't even that they were terrible jokes but something about the delivery felt really off. One of the worst films I've seen in a while.
― Robert Adam Gilmour, Saturday, 26 November 2022 21:00 (one year ago) link
Not gonna go to bat very hard for it but my experience was more like Brad's: amusing and diverting enough, and I lolled several times. I'd watch another sequel, though I have doubts this was successful enough to make another
― Vinnie, Saturday, 26 November 2022 22:30 (one year ago) link
loved the rookie detective getting constantly outfletched by fletch
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Saturday, 26 November 2022 22:36 (one year ago) link
Not as good as a Fletch book, but a good modern adaptation of a Fletch book. Would happily watch two a year.
― Vance Vance Devolution (sic), Saturday, 26 November 2022 22:55 (one year ago) link