This is the inevitable thread for ILxors in their forties

thanks, y'all!

We had our goddamm company retreat last week, and this 25-year-old sales guy and I were bitching about the rigged trivia contest (a dragonfly only lives 24 hours? Ppppht. More like one to eight weeks.)

I said something like how this never happened during bar trivia, where everything's up on the screen. He asked "what do you mean, 'up on the screen?'" I said, oh come on. They've got those little black-and-white monitors spread out around the room and the waitress gives you this little rubber beer-resistant keyboard with a four-inch anten––

And then I just stopped in mid-sentence. "You know," I said. "They probably have an app for this now."

loling at the final realization, but also what trivia writer confuses dragonflies and mayflies

Same trivia contest that had the music category featuring

OLDIES
1980s
1990s
2000s
2010s

And would you like to know what the golden oldie song was?

Aw, that's a shame they don't have the little tabletop trivia boxes anymore. I used to love going to TGI Fridays for NTN trivia *checks watch* 25 years ago.

xp The same ones who think that quacks don't echo and that goldfish have 13 second memories?

lol, wondering now if one of the questions was

"What percent of our brain do human beings use?"

Same trivia contest that had the music category featuring

OLDIES
1980s
1990s
2000s
2010s

And would you like to know what the golden oldie song🕸 was?

little tabletop trivia boxes

crosspost to “American things” thread

OLDIES
1980s
1990s
2000s
2010s

Lol. Exactly.

Well I hate that these threads are largely people complaining about their health issues, but I only made it ~6 months into my 40s before my first major health scare. Turns out it's not c@ncer thankfully, just another auto-immune disorder resulting in low platelets. Should hopefully be fine, just one more thing to keep an eye on for the rest of my life.

i turned 40 in july. my close-range eyesight has noticeably deteriorated over the past six months to a year, to the point where it's getting hard to read my phone. i can make do with readers somewhat but it's probably time to make an appointment with an eye doctor. contemplating wearing glasses or contacts long-term. i mean it's pretty fucking anodyne lol.

i also feel generally ... dumber than i used to haha. missing details. not remembering as much as i used to. maybe it's the daily 420 idk. ah well.

The eye thing is super annoying! It just impacts every aspect of day-to-day. My gradual dumbing took a sharp spill downward when I started tamoxifen. Seriously having to weigh what's more important to me: maximizing cognitive functioning or minimize chance of Stage 4 cancer recurrence. Thanks, aging!

I’d pick being a little dumb over cancer any day, but it’s not a choice I have to make right now. I think it’s bad in that it’s not the good dumb that you’re talking about

I basically feel like I was bumbling along on my own during the last few years and it had some fun bits, just in my own sphere and not worry about social interaction. I also went from a dozen gray hairs to a lot, did well with fitness for a bit and now have broadened torso-ally, and I can still read relatively closely but my eye doc said that if I get new glasses, he wouldn’t want me to feel ripped off in six months from not having bought bifocals.

Anybody else planning to try to get a colonoscopy? Just had a friend die of colon cancer - he had a family history, and tried to get a colonoscopy, and they told him "come back when you're 45."

that seems like complete horseshit that is way the system works. as far as I can tell, getting a PCP who advocates well is the trick

My dad just had a tumor removed from his colon; so far it looks like it was benign and hadn’t spread. The experience made him remember that one of his brothers died of colon cancer. I’m 45, gotta make the call and set it up.

I didn't have a family history when I got my first colonoscopy at 33. If they hem-haw about age, just tell them, fine, I guess the blood will dry out eventually.

I have cataracts already. Small ones but they're now creating noticeable minor blur to my vision. Surgery prob in my future

At least in the US, the new standard for baseline colonoscopy is 45 if you don't have risk factors (it used to be 50). I am 48 and had my first this year. Two low-grade polyps, next scope in 5 years.

Soon after turning 50, I received a letter suggesting that I go to the doctor and get a Fecal Immunochemical Test. You send it in and they can determine if you're at risk without the trouble of a colonoscopy.

how are you doing, quincie? someone in my family had breast cancer - radiotherapy and some surgery and all was looking great for it to have not come back, one year on. unfortunately it's just come back so more drastic surgery is on the cards. it's really tough.

Truthfully, I am not doing great on tamoxifen, my best hope to avoid recurrence (which would be a “distant metastasis,” since I no longer have breasts). The impacts on my energy, mood, and cognitive function are Not Good. I see my oncologist this week to talk options.

It is kind of you to ask after me <3

kinda feel like every post to this thread should begin "fuck cancer" ...

is night vision deterioration a common 40s thing? It's mostly having trouble reading street signs while driving. Not like, seeing pedestrians.

two more years and I'm on to the next thread

I am right there with you on the night vision, also the looming 50s thread (next year for me).

18 months for me. I've not noticed night vision deterioration but in the last year I've been feeling like I'll need to get varifocals next time I go to the opticians.

When you are ready you can go directly to the other thread but it’s kind of hard to find which is why I created:
How young are you? How old am I? The index of ILX decades threads

The big recent thing for me is short-term memory, at least that what's I think it is. Like, I used to be able to absolutely rely on being told something at work (teaching, so in the corridor or whatever) and acting on it at some point during the day. Lately, it goes clear out of my head, sometimes instantly. I wonder if there's something else at work with inattention or whatever but it's wholly new so I'm putting it down to post-Covid exhaustion and being an auld fecker.

I'm 47 and still haven't had a colonoscopy. Need to get that sorted.

I waited until well into the other thread to do that, finally talked to the teledoc when I fought COVID and then sent the box in by UPS. Also just summoned you to another thread based on your first comment.

i did the FIT home poo test … it came back negative and I’ll take that over a colonoscopy for as long as they’ll let me but yeeeuusch what a gross weird intricate process

The "shit in a box" thing does sound easier, but it was nice to have the color photos from the inside as well.

mine was like, over the course of three dats poop onto tissue paper that you have floated on the toilet bowl, take a popsicle stick, smear it thinly in a tiny square, do that three times

except it took too long and the tissue paper sank & i ended up having to poop into a empty yogurt container & just sitting in the bathroom literally “playing with poop”

like, what is my life right now

also god forbid you have mobility or dexterity issues or are elderly bc this whole process seems designed by someone who’s never interacted with a human before

but again, i’ll take it over invasive procedures

<3 quincie. I hope your meeting is productive! is there a point where they say you're probably in the clear?

onto the subject of the thread, I've fucked up my lower back... by vacuuming. then thinking it felt a bit better and working out with weights. bad idea. it's been about a month and still hurts so I guess I'll find a physio. but also trying to avoid quack medicine.
feel lucky compared to lots of you guys tho.

So close to retirement I can almost taste it

best to you quincie, i hope there's a better option in your future.

X-post

Surprised to see someone in the 40s thread saying that…. I don’t think I was even thinking of retirement in my 40s.

Maybe you should have

Anyone delaying getting a colonoscopy, stop blithering and do it. It's an opportunity for a nice nap! I have family history and my doc is part of a hospital (I chose her at random for the location and having a cool name and being a women, and it turns out she practices as part of a major local hosp) so they scheduled it internally (lol) which made it simpler. Found 5 polyps, all benign, but GO DO IT.

The nap part is so true.

Driving at night with the brightness of oncoming headlights these days is taking my life in my hands. Sayonara, my night vision, if I ever had you! I basically didn't drive for 20 years so it's hard to remember what it was like at age 22 and headlights have gotten way more cursed since then.

Quincie, fuck cancer and I'm sorry. Imagine what a genius you'll be when you stop taking the drug! You'll probably invent something!

here's my colonoscopy story. i tried to get one a month ago because i had blood in my stool for like 3 months before that. turns out i had to pay out of pocket for it because it's "diagnostic" not "regular scheduled" 45 yo one. anyway the bleeding stopped like a week before i had the appointment and i didn't want to pay $300 for it since that's a big deal for me so now i'm back to where i was. *long rant* fucking bullshit etc.

Oh I still owe the hospital over $400 but they did it without requiring anything up front, and the doctor, with some asperity, said, "Get the medical care you need and we'll figure out the money later" which is maybe kind of not helpful but once you get the medical care, what are they going to do, put the polyps back in? Like

Maybe you should have

Only an inheritance or lottery win would have made (very) early retirement possible - no matter how much i might have thought about it.

Even now, when I'm two years from the 'ilxors in their 60s' thread, the prospect of retirement is postponed in the current UK basketcase economy.

Yep, my doctor cautioned against doing the Exact Sciences mail-poop test if there's any chance there could be blood, because that obviates the results and then the resulting diagnostic (not preventative) colonoscopy is not covered by most insurance. But if he just orders the colonoscopy as preventative, it's covered. Smh.

I did the mail-in poop test, because it was pretty easy, which is the biggest advantage. The biggest disadvantage (besides being gross and awkward) is that you have to do it every three years instead of every 10, and it's not as accurate or thorough. My wife, for example, had a traditional colonoscopy which found a couple of benign polyps, which they just remove while they're in there to forestall any potential future problems. Going to traditional route is pretty gross, too, though, at least as far as the prep goes.

Another friend of mine, who is in her early '50s, went the traditional route (after a few concerning signs), and they totally found bad stuff. She's finally in the clear after about a year of treatment, thank goodness.

My mom (who is in her '70s) said at a certain age they stop recommending it as part of your regularly scheduled tests, and she's all, no, I'll keep getting them every 10 years, thanks. People are living longer and longer, and one reason is regularly screenings.

Driving at night with the brightness of oncoming headlights these days is taking my life in my hands.

This is totally my wife right now. She just got glasses specifically to help with driving at night.

The prep you drink for the reg procedure is intensely unpalatable but the result of pooping a lot isn't inherently gross imo. But you do you. Your mom otm.

I think as I understand it's like having rapid onset diarrhea that just keeps hitting at regular intervals until there is nothing left.