The Havana Syndrome

Biggest airquotes of all time

I guarantee that you will not guess where Law & Order went with this. pic.twitter.com/uuPsSTchpl

— biftechnoir 🇺🇸🇫🇮 (@kenmegalopsuxos) May 15, 2022

:D

"Ripped from the headlines!"

SCOOP: FBI personnel have been reporting symptoms of the mysterious syndrome that first afflicted overseas diplomats and spies... inside the US. Members of the FBI say they've been injured in DC and Florida, especially in the bureau's Miami field office, @MarkSZaidEsq says. pic.twitter.com/gDkUzo50hU

— Sasha Ingber (@SashaIngber) August 26, 2022

That's just too much Miami bass.

victims of some kind of miami sound machine

I gotta get one of these things.

Keep their heads ringing

https://www.artnews.com/art-news/news/sung-tieu-art-basel-miami-beach-havana-syndrome-1234648478/

Evidence that Havana Syndrome exists

For many of the years I was at CIA, I included this MLK quote as part of my email header:

“Cowardice asks the question, is it safe? Expediency asks the question, is it politic? Vanity asks the question, is it popular? But conscience ask the question, is it right? (1/2)

— Gail Helt (@ghelt) January 16, 2023

maybe they were the resistance inside the company

honestly no worse than the "he was a Republican, you know" crowd

shocking news

Scoop: A long-awaited report by the US intel community concludes ‘Havana Syndrome’ was not caused by an energy weapon or foreign adversary, shattering a widespread theory that a secret device debilitated scores of spies & diplomats. By @shaneharris & me https://t.co/EkxPx8c1u1

— John Hudson (@John_Hudson) March 1, 2023

Turns out it was caused by trans people waving pieces of paper with the word fentanyl written on them out the window in the direction of US embassies.

it is caused by a car driving by going burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb

I can't believe you used that word unperson, I clicked open this thread and immediately saw four cops fall down on the sidewalk across the street.

Tell-Tale Heart Syndrome doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Havana Syndrome opens your third eye and allows you to project into the astral realm lol https://t.co/b2ZN7hnhkf pic.twitter.com/uYG1XjdQKT

— Robert Skvarla (@RobertSkvarla) April 10, 2023

god some fucking prog band is totally going to write a concept album about this

I don't even know if I'm annoyed or excited about that

I kind of liked that movie when it was released as The Men Who Stare at Goats

in lounge in dad's nursing home and History Channel is basically doing a special on Havana Syndrome which uncritically accepts it as a real thing.

Have opted not to turn it off because it's bringing lols

havana syndrome is real but it is actually caused by watching the history channel

yeah it was weird, as soon as the History channel came on, my bowels evacuated.

I tried to apologize but they just assured me they'd have the spaghetti luncheon on Thursday instead

60 Minutes is doing a report on Havana Syndrome right now. Turns out Russia did it.

Details on the 60 Minutes story.

I’m skeptical! 😂

https://assets1.cbsnewsstatic.com/hub/i/r/2024/03/31/11c1df63-cf41-402d-a138-7d61004dac26/thumbnail/1240x698/18fce29c6f81c421f6d18f00eb7a49c5/targeting-americans-video.jpg?v=3d62f4cc0092e6eb151a9685301ed284

Does she have to wear that wig because the Russian mystery ray made her head swell up, or something?

She has Patricia Arquette Syndrome

At the same time, she said, the battery in her phone began to swell until it broke the case.

So the cricket ray is blowing up batteries now?

A battery swelled! I’m convinced!

so if none of this is true does Russia even want to make a denial about this err no

I'm not going to read a bunch of suggestive theories. Are they explaining it through voodoo or have they discovered a cause that has some respectable physics behind it?

One guy supposedly found a Russian ledger line where they paid a guy a consulting fee for something so clearly the headache ray is real and Putin done did it.

My poke place has 60 Minutes on every Sunday I’ve been in, not sure what stories they run anymore beyond China or Russia fearmongering.

Has their reporting been off?

Well, their big story tonight being complete conspiracy-addled nonsense points to “not great” on the reporting side. Depends on how often you check under the bed for Red Chinese operatives undermining America I guess.

I've seen enough "blow things up in a microwave" youtube to know that Li-ion batteries burst into flames when bombarded with microwaves. Swollen battery syndrome is apparently rare, but can be related to not fully discharging the battery enough and overcharging it. I still think this is a load of bollox.

cockney putin: "just havana bubble mate"

hergé was a mole:

https://i.imgur.com/zK9aBu5.png

Meanwhile, a new study apparently contradicts the brain injury findings from 2018.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/people-with-havana-syndrome-show-no-brain-damage-or-medical-illness/

Battery swelling is increasingly rare, but it was relatively common when this occurred.

I’d also bet that most swelling comes from manufacturing defects rather than discharging.

yeesh that 60 minutes article… is George Noory on the case?

"There is, in my view, without a doubt, evidence of a cover up. Now, some of that cover up is not necessarily that, 'oh, we found a weapon,'" Zaid said. "What I've seen more so is, 'we see lines of inquiry that would take us potentially to answers we don't want to have to deal with, so we're not going to explore any of those avenues.'"

This is the most incredible motte-and-bailey.

"There's a cover-up." "By that I mean that someone somewhere isn't taking something seriously."