THE WORST SINGLES OF THE 90s

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the really bad stuff that does chart is also quickly forgotten. as in 'erased from memory'. so its a tough one to list.

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 2 November 2002 19:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

yeah, it's kind of pointless to try to figure out who chose what, as at least 50 of the tracks were me and tom pissed out of our minds on IM saying "blah blah song title" & "MY GOD HOW AWFUL IS THAT", followed by me actually compiling the IM chat (as per tom's request, but sorry if you didn't want me to post it...heh, or at least identify you with it.) maura, fred, ned and mitch's additions (as well as josh and nitsuh and felicity and some others i'm probably forgetting) were all done non-drunk (as far as i know.) the list is predominantly american because a. everyone else but tom is an american and b. america produced the worst music of the 90s (sorry, we just make more period, so it's law of scale.) (tom and i also discovered that night that rock was the worst music ever, complete with hilarious scenario of uh ? the mysterians or whoever coming to our near and horrible future and looking at what they had wrought.)

ethan got on my dick last night that the list was too obvious and middlebrow, but fuck it, that's what WAS so horrible about the 90s: the creeping evil of banality and all that...(also, ethan has lost any ability at aesthetic reflection in the last 12 months.) part of the point of making lists like this, however, is a. wallowing in yr own "misery" and b. attempting to rile people (as ethan and 50% of the posters to this thread have proved out.) it was also a lot f fun. what's the point of doing anything then, especially posting a reply to a thread about it?

(or, what tom said as i was posting.)

jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 2 November 2002 19:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

No ATB? No Meredith Brooks? I'd mention Alicia's Attic, but someone on here is bound to stick up for them, or Ind*pendent Love Song, but for some reason I still feel guilty after that woman googled herself (and I hadn't even got round to spewing my bile over the thread in question by then).

I will not bother listing the indie entries which I consider lacklustre and plodding but not actually BAD because I know nobody involved will ever agree, but I must disagree with the first two lines of Dan's suggestions, too. I wouldn't be that offended if Smart Es got in, but really, is there any complaint that could be levelled at it that wouldn't be much more fairly aimed at, I don't know, Poing?

(I'd even stick up for the original Poing if I had to, but whoever decided it needed a 1999 trancebag makeover needs a slap.)

Rebecca, hunting for flame-proof jacket (reb), Saturday, 2 November 2002 19:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

one that really should be there: "Both Sides Of The Story" by Phil Collins. or was he just not worth hating by that time?

Certainly "Both Sides of the Story" as well as "Another Day in Paradise" are both vomit-inducing. Was "The Living Years" by Mike and the Mechanics in the 1990s? Something's telling me it was in the 80s, as well as "Wild Wild West" by The Escape Club. If not, they are all viable candidates for inclusion.

How about "Deeper Shade of Soul" by Urban Dance Squad? I have kind of a love/hate thing with that one...or "Life Is a Highway" by Tom Cochrane? Eh, I guess it isn't Top 100 bad.

Joe (Joe), Saturday, 2 November 2002 19:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

"The Living Years" was 80s, but the Mechanics' "Word of Mouth" was 90s, and that's unspeakable.

robin carmody (robin carmody), Saturday, 2 November 2002 19:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

jess, you're welcome for the help.

felicity (felicity), Saturday, 2 November 2002 20:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

* Public Enemy "911 is a Joke"

DB, please tell me you not serious!! The video rules!!!!

brg30 (brg30), Saturday, 2 November 2002 21:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

No Stone Temple Pilots? (Um, I don't remember the names of any of their singles.

Dan,You Are Blessed!!!

brg30 (brg30), Saturday, 2 November 2002 21:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

The worst single of the 90s was that horrible piece of shit that went something like "This is the story of a GIRRRRRLLLL, WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORRRRRRRRRRRRLD!!!!!!!!!!!" Who was that? Awful AWFUL song.

Evan, Saturday, 2 November 2002 22:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'd like to contribute to this. As for list suggestions:

1) No Creed? (right now I wouldn't waste the brain cells trying to come up with a song title)
2) Why "Radio Song" when that song REM did for the Man on the Moon soundtrack is infinitely worse?
3) No Shania Twain?

j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 2 November 2002 22:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

shania twain is going through her neil young trans period, it's great!

jel -- (jel), Saturday, 2 November 2002 22:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

I like a few of these songs, but I love none of them, so I ain't mad atcha. I nominate the Rollins Band's "Liar" to the list, too, along with "Barbie Girl" because I hate fun.

I know this is mostly pop-focused, but can we please please please please make an exception and add Tim McGraw's "Indian Outlaw" to the list?

Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Saturday, 2 November 2002 22:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

A lot of those songs are actually good, what the hell? I had like ten things to contribute until I actually read the list. I mean it's ya'alls list, I don't really care, but it seems odd to ask for other people to write about why these songs suck, when everyone here is arguing that many of them don't.

Unless you WANTED 400 entries about why "Candle in the Wind '97" sucks.

Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 2 November 2002 22:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

I like about 30 of these. Half fall into a category where I don't understand the logic for picking them (e.g. "All I Want": not hideously overplayed at the time, not hideously popular, and largely forgotten now), and the other half I understand (e.g. "Tubthumping": either immensely catchy or annoying).

You need some Bush song on there. They shouldn't escape this list after two awful 90's albums.

Vinnie (vprabhu), Saturday, 2 November 2002 23:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

jess, since when am i an american????

additionally, i think i arrived after the list was pretty much already finished, so all i did was agree with the ones that i thought were bad and went silent when 'buddy holly' came up.

mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Saturday, 2 November 2002 23:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

i noticed that weezer made the list, just not often enough.

danzig and the oh-so excruciating tripping daisy are missing though, just like jan arden and natalie merchant.

mike (ro)bott, Sunday, 3 November 2002 00:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

hmmm ... there was a Duran Duran entry ("Come Undone") below the "911 Is A Joke" one, could it have been a misprint for Duran's cover of PE?

robin carmody (robin carmody), Sunday, 3 November 2002 00:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

mitch you're more americanized than a lot of american friends of mine!

jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 3 November 2002 01:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

the whole exercise will be invalidated if Creep by Radiohead is not number 1.

chris (chris), Sunday, 3 November 2002 01:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

While we're at it, here, "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls sucked too (nowhere to go but up after that one).

Joe (Joe), Sunday, 3 November 2002 02:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

no it didn't

mark s (mark s), Sunday, 3 November 2002 02:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

people need to stop picking good songs!

jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 3 November 2002 02:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

you started it!!

mark s (mark s), Sunday, 3 November 2002 02:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

oi! don't put this on me just because my fellow drunk isn't around to shoulder the blame!

jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 3 November 2002 03:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

That's it, I have to know: who DID pick Buddy Holly?

Anyway, yes, you are missing Bush, that was the first one I thought of too. Glycerine.

Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 3 November 2002 03:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

And **Natalie Merchant**. Has anyone mentioned her yet (too lazy to scroll up)? How could I overlook her...The "hay! hay! give 'em what they want" song or the "they say ay must be one of God's wonders, thaht of cre-AY-shun" song...don't know the titles, of course. The video for the latter...[shivers] kind of a touchy-feely, warm 'n' fuzzy, "embrace the diversity! embrace your femininity!", brand x-Benetton commercial, wun't it?

Joe (Joe), Sunday, 3 November 2002 03:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

Graham, you forgot to convert this thread subject to lower case.

donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 3 November 2002 03:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

Y'all must make some place for Metallica - enter sandman - on this list.
I insist.

The Hegemon, Sunday, 3 November 2002 04:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

BLESSID UNION OF SOULS - "Hey Leonardo". Please amend.

David R. (popshots75`), Sunday, 3 November 2002 05:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

Nate is OTM about Tim McGraw's "Indian Outlaw." Why do so many rednecks think they're Indians?

I'm an Indian outlaw
Half Cherokee and Choctaw
My baby --
She's a Chippewaw, waw, waw, waw.

However, the single that was the singlehandedley most fucked up in music in the 90's would have to be:

I thought she took the train to Mars, she's out back counting STARS.

By whover the fuck it was. I remembered watching Howard Stern on TV once and that "Stars" band was playing in the studio with Howard Stern. It was shitty.

wildcat wendell cooley, Sunday, 3 November 2002 06:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Oh, "Stars" by HUM. HUM, WTF???

wildcat wendell cooley, Sunday, 3 November 2002 06:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

I e-mailed Jess about this (assuming he hasn't blocked me or anything) and let him know that hey wait a minute what about the Butthole Surfers' "Pepper"? Those fuckers released some of the most mescaline-addled psychedelic hell-rock in the early '80s, and what are they reduced to a decade later? Sam's Club Beck! Gah.

Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 3 November 2002 06:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

How' bout "Cherry Pie" by Slaughter???

wildcat wendell cooley, Sunday, 3 November 2002 06:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

nate, i got yr email.

wildcat: when i was doing the washing up today, i actually remembered hum. creepy.

jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 3 November 2002 07:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

Oh, "Stars" by HUM. HUM, WTF???

Josh Kortbein to thread!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 3 November 2002 07:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

I like about a quarter of these too. I'm esp. fond of: 06 12 46 66 76 78. ("bingo!")

Dan I., Sunday, 3 November 2002 07:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

brg, do you mean the Crash Test Dummies?

donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 3 November 2002 07:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

By the way, the answer is Counting Crows to all of the above. Thank you.

donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 3 November 2002 07:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

But Keith, most of Moby's nineties stuff is fine - the metal stuff I'm not sure about but it is surely to negligable to count.

Sorry about the outburst. I was drunk.
But seriously, 'Bodyrock' was released in 1999 (according to our friend AMG), and therefore MUST be in the top ten.

Keith McD (Keith McD), Sunday, 3 November 2002 08:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

ned, you touch me

Josh (Josh), Sunday, 3 November 2002 09:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

nb that is not an imperative

Josh (Josh), Sunday, 3 November 2002 09:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Sorry about the outburst. I was drunk.
But seriously, 'Bodyrock' was released in 1999 (according to our friend AMG), and therefore MUST be in the top ten. "

You're right - that should replace the much-less-offensive Fatboy Slim mix of "Body Movin".

Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Sunday, 3 November 2002 10:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

you shd get someone to savage each song and someone (else) (or not necessarily heh) to celebrate it

i will defend whitney obv and "black or white" and i think "2 legit 2 quit"

mark s (mark s), Sunday, 3 November 2002 12:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

I second "Pepper," "Hey Leonardo" and the Tim McGraw track.

People have sadly forgotten Train's "Meet Virginia," though it was released just at the cusp of the '90's, entering the US top 40 on 11/20/02, peaking I don't know when.

Sinker's suggestion is U&K, obv. I will defend anything from Bush's first album.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 3 November 2002 12:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

WE ARE FORGETTING NU-SWING.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 3 November 2002 12:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

And 2 Hyped Brothers & A Dog's "Doo Doo Brown." Not just for the repeated title but for "Don't drink pepsi, always coke. (pause for effect) Dope."

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 3 November 2002 12:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

I will defend anything from Bush's first album.

*blink* I'm not so much surprised at a defense as I am the fact you'd be the one defending it!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 3 November 2002 15:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

DOOP!

Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 3 November 2002 15:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

'Two Sides To The Story' by Phil Collins is a good shout though.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 3 November 2002 15:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Actually, there are at least ten songs on this list I've never heard, and am actually downloading at this moment knowing I will probably end up liking them.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 3 November 2002 15:46 (twenty-one years ago) link


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