Elon Musk

I'd say buy at 5%, because he's always going to be a bigger ass.

don't threaten me with a good time, business insider

Please. Please. I am begging God. pic.twitter.com/c4C2XR8NNG

— Zombie That Only Eats Cops (@MaxKnightley) July 19, 2022

they cant touch him he has studied the teachings of JOHN McAFEE

Someone said his torso looks like the result of taking steroids without doing any lifting.

(The Twitter uptick is at least in part because the judge decided on a trial in October. Twitter had asked for September, Musk for February I think - both to set the framing that this a complicated matter requiring a lot of experts and discovery to determine an accurate bot count, and because his financing runs out in April)

The market clearly thinks he's going to pay more than the billion fee to get out of this, which I also think.

yeah the fact that the judge set the trial date early implies that his marketing powers do not extend to the delaware court of chancery

Chancery does not fuck around with mergers, they move fast

what is the over/under on how many times Elon shouts out "OBJECTION!" from his seat in the court room, like he's on Law and Order in a criminal trial

as a client he'd be stopped after the first in favour of counsel, please please PLEASE let him be representing himself lol

wont even be there too busy getting hosed down

yeah, might be the first case of a party testifying from low earth orbit

you know what the Cybertruck's shape makes sense to me now

lol

The amount of attention on me has gone supernova, which super sucks. Unfortunately, even trivial articles about me generate a lot of clicks :(

Will try my best to be heads down focused on doing useful things for civilization.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) July 25, 2022

...like shutting up?

Only time he’s heads down focused is when he’s sucking his own dick.

super sucking

The fucking frowny face what a dipshit loser this guy is

Like you’re the richest man on the planet with an army of sycophants who will defend literally everything you do and instead you’re crying on Twitter like a 9th grader who farted in class and got caught

Awwww poor widdle baby

Haven’t even had sex in ages (sigh)

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) July 25, 2022

Yeah but when Elon farts it creates so many clicks, it’s not like the other boys :(

"what if you gave an 18-year old incel $200 billion" is the worst episode of Black Mirror.

An incel with kids all over town

that "boo-hoo everyone's paying attention to me and i hate it" bs is such transparent reverse psych/br'er rabbit dickery and i am much too clever to take the bait

o no! well at least the bait had the delicious flavor of empty schadenfreude

the evil capitalist from 100 years ago with the top hat and cigar - at least that guy had some dignity. being ruled by a redditor is just fucking humiliating

"Haven't impregnated an subordinate in ages (sigh)"

He's bitching about the attention he's getting for having an affair with Nicole Shanahan, the wife of Sergei Brin.

In other words, this is all so much humblebragging. I hope his dick falls off.

while he is obvs a huge attention whore i dont doubt he has regrets about some of his recent press, his q score has suffered

His p score remains on pin though (heyo)

lol that was supposed to be “point” that’s what I get for trying to be a smart ass while tipsy

I was joking at work yesterday that in this workplace, we don't talk about two things: Tesla stock, and how many children Elon Musk has at this point in time

both are just arbitrary numbers tbh

many people are following this

https://twitter.com/chancery_daily

lmao compelling him to buy twitter would be a violation of his rights under the 13th amendment https://www.barrons.com/articles/twitter-musk-specific-performance-thirteenth-amendment-51659101363

smh body shaming

Elon Musk's disdain for his dad probably just intensified, after the 76-year-old Musk patriarch essentially called his son fat and said he's not proud of him. https://t.co/VIuzOC5i7w

— TMZ (@TMZ) August 1, 2022

finalFINAL202207311829.jpg pic.twitter.com/uV2Lc4XUoQ

— The Chancery Daily (@chancery_daily) July 31, 2022

G’day @elonmusk, I’m a reporter at @abcnews that’s been covering the discovery of @SpaceX debris in Australia. Just wondering, is anyone from your team coming to collect it?
Here’s a pic of one of the pieces👇 pic.twitter.com/NcJeuigQzx

— Adriane Reardon (@adrianereardon) August 3, 2022

"Clearly this is not going to turn into a horrible diplomatic event”

sad crowd: “awwwww.”

truly the billionaire we deserve

I hereby challenge @paraga to a public debate about the Twitter bot percentage.

Let him prove to the public that Twitter has <5% fake or spam daily users!

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 6, 2022

i was just down at the gas station and overheard two guys (pickup truck owners) discussing twitters bot percentage, they both agreed it was probably more than five percent

I hereby challenge Elon Musk to a debate that Tesla should accept Dogecoin for cars! :)

— Matt Wallace (@MattWallace888) August 6, 2022

how good are teslas pic.twitter.com/nPDUK9ZHik

— matt (@mattDCLXVI) August 5, 2022

oop

BREAKING: Elon Musk sells 3.3 million Tesla shares, worth over $4.3 billion.

— The Spectator Index (@spectatorindex) August 10, 2022

"worth"

*MUSK SELLS AT LEAST 7.92M TESLA SHARES WORTH $6.89B: FILINGS

(yes it is Tuesday)

— Sean O'Kane (@sokane1) August 10, 2022

It’s 2022, and Teslas still aren’t stopping for children. pic.twitter.com/GGBh6sAYZS

— Taylor Ogan (@TaylorOgan) August 9, 2022

This looks like it's worth a read

“Elon Musk admitted to his biographer that the reason the Hyperloop was announced—even tho he had no intention of pursuing it—was to try to disrupt the California high-speed rail project to get in the way of that actually succeeding.” — @ParisMarx @Gizmodo https://t.co/qj5WyO4oGR

— Brent Toderian (@BrentToderian) August 10, 2022

the guy who will save the environment

Is there anyone in the Bay Area with a child who can run in front of my car on Full Self-Driving Beta to make a point? I promise I won't run them over... (will disengage if needed)

(this is a serious request)

— Whole Mars Catalog (@WholeMarsBlog) August 9, 2022