This is the inevitable thread for ILxors in their forties

The eye thing is super annoying! It just impacts every aspect of day-to-day. My gradual dumbing took a sharp spill downward when I started tamoxifen. Seriously having to weigh what's more important to me: maximizing cognitive functioning or minimize chance of Stage 4 cancer recurrence. Thanks, aging!

I’d pick being a little dumb over cancer any day, but it’s not a choice I have to make right now. I think it’s bad in that it’s not the good dumb that you’re talking about

I basically feel like I was bumbling along on my own during the last few years and it had some fun bits, just in my own sphere and not worry about social interaction. I also went from a dozen gray hairs to a lot, did well with fitness for a bit and now have broadened torso-ally, and I can still read relatively closely but my eye doc said that if I get new glasses, he wouldn’t want me to feel ripped off in six months from not having bought bifocals.

Anybody else planning to try to get a colonoscopy? Just had a friend die of colon cancer - he had a family history, and tried to get a colonoscopy, and they told him "come back when you're 45."

that seems like complete horseshit that is way the system works. as far as I can tell, getting a PCP who advocates well is the trick

My dad just had a tumor removed from his colon; so far it looks like it was benign and hadn’t spread. The experience made him remember that one of his brothers died of colon cancer. I’m 45, gotta make the call and set it up.

I didn't have a family history when I got my first colonoscopy at 33. If they hem-haw about age, just tell them, fine, I guess the blood will dry out eventually.

I have cataracts already. Small ones but they're now creating noticeable minor blur to my vision. Surgery prob in my future

At least in the US, the new standard for baseline colonoscopy is 45 if you don't have risk factors (it used to be 50). I am 48 and had my first this year. Two low-grade polyps, next scope in 5 years.

Soon after turning 50, I received a letter suggesting that I go to the doctor and get a Fecal Immunochemical Test. You send it in and they can determine if you're at risk without the trouble of a colonoscopy.

how are you doing, quincie? someone in my family had breast cancer - radiotherapy and some surgery and all was looking great for it to have not come back, one year on. unfortunately it's just come back so more drastic surgery is on the cards. it's really tough.

Truthfully, I am not doing great on tamoxifen, my best hope to avoid recurrence (which would be a “distant metastasis,” since I no longer have breasts). The impacts on my energy, mood, and cognitive function are Not Good. I see my oncologist this week to talk options.

It is kind of you to ask after me <3

kinda feel like every post to this thread should begin "fuck cancer" ...

is night vision deterioration a common 40s thing? It's mostly having trouble reading street signs while driving. Not like, seeing pedestrians.

two more years and I'm on to the next thread

I am right there with you on the night vision, also the looming 50s thread (next year for me).

18 months for me. I've not noticed night vision deterioration but in the last year I've been feeling like I'll need to get varifocals next time I go to the opticians.

When you are ready you can go directly to the other thread but it’s kind of hard to find which is why I created:
How young are you? How old am I? The index of ILX decades threads

The big recent thing for me is short-term memory, at least that what's I think it is. Like, I used to be able to absolutely rely on being told something at work (teaching, so in the corridor or whatever) and acting on it at some point during the day. Lately, it goes clear out of my head, sometimes instantly. I wonder if there's something else at work with inattention or whatever but it's wholly new so I'm putting it down to post-Covid exhaustion and being an auld fecker.

I'm 47 and still haven't had a colonoscopy. Need to get that sorted.

I waited until well into the other thread to do that, finally talked to the teledoc when I fought COVID and then sent the box in by UPS. Also just summoned you to another thread based on your first comment.

i did the FIT home poo test … it came back negative and I’ll take that over a colonoscopy for as long as they’ll let me but yeeeuusch what a gross weird intricate process

The "shit in a box" thing does sound easier, but it was nice to have the color photos from the inside as well.

mine was like, over the course of three dats poop onto tissue paper that you have floated on the toilet bowl, take a popsicle stick, smear it thinly in a tiny square, do that three times

except it took too long and the tissue paper sank & i ended up having to poop into a empty yogurt container & just sitting in the bathroom literally “playing with poop”

like, what is my life right now

also god forbid you have mobility or dexterity issues or are elderly bc this whole process seems designed by someone who’s never interacted with a human before

but again, i’ll take it over invasive procedures

<3 quincie. I hope your meeting is productive! is there a point where they say you're probably in the clear?

onto the subject of the thread, I've fucked up my lower back... by vacuuming. then thinking it felt a bit better and working out with weights. bad idea. it's been about a month and still hurts so I guess I'll find a physio. but also trying to avoid quack medicine.
feel lucky compared to lots of you guys tho.

So close to retirement I can almost taste it

best to you quincie, i hope there's a better option in your future.

X-post

Surprised to see someone in the 40s thread saying that…. I don’t think I was even thinking of retirement in my 40s.

Maybe you should have

Anyone delaying getting a colonoscopy, stop blithering and do it. It's an opportunity for a nice nap! I have family history and my doc is part of a hospital (I chose her at random for the location and having a cool name and being a women, and it turns out she practices as part of a major local hosp) so they scheduled it internally (lol) which made it simpler. Found 5 polyps, all benign, but GO DO IT.

The nap part is so true.

Driving at night with the brightness of oncoming headlights these days is taking my life in my hands. Sayonara, my night vision, if I ever had you! I basically didn't drive for 20 years so it's hard to remember what it was like at age 22 and headlights have gotten way more cursed since then.

Quincie, fuck cancer and I'm sorry. Imagine what a genius you'll be when you stop taking the drug! You'll probably invent something!

here's my colonoscopy story. i tried to get one a month ago because i had blood in my stool for like 3 months before that. turns out i had to pay out of pocket for it because it's "diagnostic" not "regular scheduled" 45 yo one. anyway the bleeding stopped like a week before i had the appointment and i didn't want to pay $300 for it since that's a big deal for me so now i'm back to where i was. *long rant* fucking bullshit etc.

Oh I still owe the hospital over $400 but they did it without requiring anything up front, and the doctor, with some asperity, said, "Get the medical care you need and we'll figure out the money later" which is maybe kind of not helpful but once you get the medical care, what are they going to do, put the polyps back in? Like

Maybe you should have

Only an inheritance or lottery win would have made (very) early retirement possible - no matter how much i might have thought about it.

Even now, when I'm two years from the 'ilxors in their 60s' thread, the prospect of retirement is postponed in the current UK basketcase economy.

Yep, my doctor cautioned against doing the Exact Sciences mail-poop test if there's any chance there could be blood, because that obviates the results and then the resulting diagnostic (not preventative) colonoscopy is not covered by most insurance. But if he just orders the colonoscopy as preventative, it's covered. Smh.

I did the mail-in poop test, because it was pretty easy, which is the biggest advantage. The biggest disadvantage (besides being gross and awkward) is that you have to do it every three years instead of every 10, and it's not as accurate or thorough. My wife, for example, had a traditional colonoscopy which found a couple of benign polyps, which they just remove while they're in there to forestall any potential future problems. Going to traditional route is pretty gross, too, though, at least as far as the prep goes.

Another friend of mine, who is in her early '50s, went the traditional route (after a few concerning signs), and they totally found bad stuff. She's finally in the clear after about a year of treatment, thank goodness.

My mom (who is in her '70s) said at a certain age they stop recommending it as part of your regularly scheduled tests, and she's all, no, I'll keep getting them every 10 years, thanks. People are living longer and longer, and one reason is regularly screenings.

Driving at night with the brightness of oncoming headlights these days is taking my life in my hands.

This is totally my wife right now. She just got glasses specifically to help with driving at night.

The prep you drink for the reg procedure is intensely unpalatable but the result of pooping a lot isn't inherently gross imo. But you do you. Your mom otm.

I think as I understand it's like having rapid onset diarrhea that just keeps hitting at regular intervals until there is nothing left.

I watched a band apart while doing my prep , it was no big deal *poops*

Yeah I really found the colonoscopy thing (prep+procedure) NBD; I have had far, far worse dental appointments!

I found the prep somewhat hellish, especially when the appointment is in the morning so you need to stay up most of the night.

Change of topic, but the increase in amount of time I've spent napping this year has been overwhelming. I've taken more naps in the past 6 months than I have in total over the past decade. Just like, 4 pm - "oh here comes that feeling again. better lay down," then come to an hour later feeling like I have molasses in my veins and cotton in my skull. Not every day, but several times per week. It's pretty annoying. I remember my dad hitting the naps pretty hard too when he was my age.

i too have the nap bug

No naps for me. But now I'm staring down the barrel of a low-lectin diet, to try and deal with some of my auto-immune (and digestive) issues. Very curious to see how it goes but also the thought of giving up certain things, as well as general eating flexibility around friends and in restaurants, is colossally depressing to me. Gonna try for a good attitude about it though, might start a separate thread.

...I would participate in that thread as I'm about halfway to that kind of diet by necessity. (Clinging to cheese haterz gfy.)

I went to Paris on a school trip (35 15-year-olds, enough to cause long-lasting health issues in and of itself, obvs) and it was the first time I'd really had to face my dietary choices of the last few years head-on. Up until now, it had basically been confined to home and a few well-chosen restaurants. Reader, it was royal pain in the arse (and the guts).

I've been taking afternoon naps since I was a teenager, they're one of the best things in life. Pro tip: don't lie down and instead just fade out sitting up on a comfy couch or chair, then you'll wake up in 30-45 minutes without cotton ball brain and just feel refreshed.

One gift of middle age is perspective on medical procedures as you rack up a few truly unpleasant ones (colonoscopy prep is way easier to handle when you remember the week of the ureteral stent) and come to terms with occasional machine interpretations of your magical body. I used to be terrified of blood draws, now they barely faze me.

Thanks for the tip! I'll give it a shot.

I use the post-work power nap upon arriving home to make a clean break between my job and my life

I can't do 45 minutes; it'll fuck me up for the rest of the day. I find 15-20 minutes to be extremely refreshing, though. (Sorry for intervening in you kids' conversation — back to the over-50 zone I go!)

Daily afternoon nap (15-20 min) is crucial to me. I usually take a look at the clock before I close my eyes and again when I snap back, and it's almost always 17-18 minutes.