Twitter C/D

This guy knows what’s up

This is a really big deal. Twitter made huge strides towards a more rational internal security model and backsliding will put them in trouble with the FTC, SEC, 27 EU DPAs and a variety of other regulators.

There is a serious risk of a breach with drastically reduced staff. https://t.co/2VxOC6d6lY

— Alex Stamos (@alexstamos) November 10, 2022

Mlxp - maybe I'm too optimistic, but I kinda feel like option 2 is baked in at this point, b/w all the layoffs/resignations and PR hits twitter has been taking. Just yesterday, the 70 yr Bahamian security guard I work with who's never been on social media in his life was ranting about how pathetic and dangerous Elon is.

Holy shit, Alex Spiro was Aaron Hernandez's defense attorney

In the same message, the employee said Twitter’s current head of Legal, Alex Spiro, said “Elon is willing to take on a huge amount of risk in relation to his company and its users, because ‘Elon puts rockets into space, he’s not afraid of the FTC.’”

— Casey Newton (@CaseyNewton) November 10, 2022

Now seems like the perfect time to give Twitter our credit card and bank account numbers.

Or, you know, pictures of cartoon monkeys or whatever.

lmao (thread). hero.

NEW: A senior member of Twitter’s legal team just posted this message in Slack:“Everyone should know that our CISO, Chief Privacy Officer and Chief Compliance Officer ALL resigned last night. This news will be buried in the return-to-office drama. I believe that is intentional.”

— Zoë Schiffer (@ZoeSchiffer) November 10, 2022

It's a shame that all of you low brained betas just can't see the brilliance of Musk's moves here.

FTC not happy

Strong statement from FTC, following the security and privacy departures at Twitter: "We are tracking recent developments at Twitter with deep concern. No CEO or company is above the law, and companies must follow our consent decrees."

— Cat Zakrzewski (@Cat_Zakrzewski) November 10, 2022

"Our revised consent order gives us new tools to ensure compliance, and we are prepared to use them.”

— Cat Zakrzewski (@Cat_Zakrzewski) November 10, 2022

But Elon rides around on a space rocket. You can't catch him!

https://memeguy.com/photos/images/ho-haha-guard-turn-parry-dodge-spin-ha-thrust-37826.gif

https://github.com/wseagar/eight-dollars

i don't care to know this information. I'm just here to watch everything burn

at this point the question is who nukes twitter from orbit first, the pharma lawyers? the disney lawyers? the sports league lawyers? the toy lawyers? pic.twitter.com/hw2RcN1l77

— kilgore trout, death to putiner (@KT_So_It_Goes) November 10, 2022

Uh yeah in regards to the tweet xyzzzz posted it really doesn’t look like Twitter will even survive long enough to become some sort of right wing dickpill haven. I did not think Elon would do a good job running the show but holy hell I was not expecting things to get so bad this fast

would be funny if Musk builds a space station to live in while thumbing nose at all of earth's governments

his first all hands seems to have gone well

OK I'm fully convinced: I am taking my checking and savings needs to Twitter https://t.co/VmRFLeCgqR

— Sam Biddle (@samfbiddle) November 10, 2022

it's good when you've owned a company for less than a fortnight and start talking bankruptcy right

lol there goes trust and safety

NEW: Multiple Twitter sources say Yoel Roth is leaving the company.

— Zoë Schiffer (@ZoeSchiffer) November 10, 2022

I don't think Twitter will see 2023

lol this is crazy has anyone ever fucked up this bad

pretty excited for Elon to be considered one of history's bigger dumbasses

xp! lol

so where will everyone go? substack?

at some point they have to consider firing him from tesla right (idk thats really possible or what the situation is over there)

For reference these were the 2 twtr employees that were on the Spaces interview with Elon. The only 2. And they're both gone https://t.co/drOT5hROcp

— Tesla Tunnel (@TeslaTunnel) November 10, 2022

it's not on its own a problem or unusual that almost none of prior leadership remains. but the fact that the ones that did remain are quitting after like a week of working with him seems bad.

I'll start worrying about our boy Elon once the top source of info about his incompetence is something other than Twitter itself.

those twitter loans are already getting bid at 40% off https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-11-10/twitter-loans-get-bid-at-60-cents-as-banks-sound-out-investors?srnd=premium

John Deorean:cocaine::Elon Musk:Twitter.

Ha, fucked up my own DeLorean joke.

And if he had just delivered an affordable, reliable personal submarine we'd all be singing his praises

part of that's unavoidable given how interest rates have moved higher since the financing papers were signed in april, but part of that definitely reflects the chaos and uncertainty that elon is bringing lol xp

It's like Musk highjacked the Titanic just so he could steer it into the iceberg.

so he does have a plan

currently an emergency twitter all-hands going on with Elon Musk answering employee Q's

Elon was asked: "How are you going to deal with the expected attrition and align everyone on a shared vision?"

Elon Answer: "I don't know....we all need to be more hardcore."

— rat king 🐀 (@MikeIsaac) November 10, 2022

Twitter should start a Patreon

The Posting Era is coming to an end in the funniest and most spectacular way…soon all will be scattered to the forums and there will only be a smoking crater where they spent over a decade posting through it

it should be noted that any sentence that includes the words "how are you going to..." and "...align everyone on a shared vision?" was actually a big slow softball question

what are the projects you're most excited about and what are the big things we should all be looking forward to together as we work together in complete harmony?

uuuuuh.....fuck autotune

twitter has wild revenue fluctuations, but even some of its worst quarters only had negative cash flows in the low nine figures, so if this is true Elon has blown a multi-billion dollar hole in their finances already https://t.co/CThkrFtqEl

— Law Boy, Esq. (@The_Law_Boy) November 10, 2022

Was going to ask how long until this guy ends up in a stupid reality show, but then I realized we are already getting it.

Elon Answer: "I don't know....we all need to be more hardcore."

Bloomberg is reporting that Harley Flanagan has been tapped to replace Yoel Roth as Twitter's Head of Trust and Safety. Flanagan brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to the company from his previous stints in Cro-Mags and jail.

ok now I'm wondering if Esther is ok, after crapping all over her earlier in this thread

her activity today has been limited to retweeting this

proud of the spaces team (current and former) for building a service resilient enough to handle ~100k concurrent listeners for an hour with no issues. https://t.co/snfe7Nt3oV

— Kayvon Beykpour (@kayvz) November 10, 2022

i'm barely following but even i recognize that the host of the flawless conference call (which, heavy respect) was a person who resigned today

big kendall roy energy here

"hey so i just wanted to drop in and say..... y'know... Yo"

*Writing my Twitter self-eval*

Consistent with the stated corporate strategy of “being more hardcore”, in Q42022 I turned it up to 11 in the following areas:
- Fucks given: 0
- Headbutts: +35% from Q3
- Fingerless Glove Fridays: 100% team participation
- Longer guitar solos

— Jeff Rivers (@jeffrivers) November 10, 2022

making a speech to my employees about how we’re all in this together pic.twitter.com/EG3cBDHAvM

— Italien Feeld (@julianfeeld) November 11, 2022

Feel like Elon is entering "let's just do it and be legends" territory.

site already seems to have broken. scrolling down replies keeps jumping back to the top of the page

The chaos continues. Twitter pulls the plug on Twitter Blue, subscriptions and paid-for verification blue checkmark no longer available.

— Mike Sington (@MikeSington) November 11, 2022

Huh interesting anyway anyone want to fuck the moon? https://t.co/SrBoVDEer3

— SpaceX (@SpaceXOfficiall) November 11, 2022