Elon Musk

I fully expected him to shit the bed. I did not expect him to shit the bed, trip down the stairs while running the soiled sheets to the washing machine only to shit all over the stairs causing him to slip and fall ass first into the furnace where the pilot light ignites an explosion that showers the entire Bay Area in a gigantic shit-storm.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FhPVhlIWAAAlspE?format=jpg&name=medium

like a thousand onions exploding in the sky at once

How is that Tesla account still up lol

I applied one of my accounts for reinstatement cos "Elon's in charge"

Only cos I wanna impersonate people

lol map

I love how when ppl impersonate Musk they get canned immediately but other peple being maliciously impersonated (like Mueller She Wrote) get no traction at all. Go team.

less than two weeks ago

Watching @elonmusk + Co take over Twitter is like watching a business school case study on how to make money on the internet. Amazing that at some level it is so basic. Lesson one: charge your power users what they are willing to pay. 1/3

— Jessica Lessin (@Jessicalessin) October 31, 2022

I love how when ppl impersonate Musk they get canned immediately but other peple being maliciously impersonated (like Mueller She Wrote) get no traction at all.

Elon is such a troll himself, he'd be loving this shit if the joke wasn't on him. Doesn't surprise me if they make other people being impersonated a low priority

Mods please rename the thread board "Elon Q&A: Advertising & the Future removed"

We ❤️ apartheid

— AIPAC (@AIPAC_USA) November 11, 2022

Elon is such a troll himself, he'd be loving this shit if the joke wasn't on him.

Seems like he is when it isn't!

https://i.imgur.com/d5nGn3b.png

can someone just uh make youtube

Musk wants Twitter to take on YouTube. He is tasking employees with making a program to pay creators to post video on Twitter and somehow earn rev share. (Will likely add to his already deep expenses — Musk said the company could have negative cash flow in the billions next year)

— Alex Heath (@alexeheath) November 11, 2022

do it fast

A quote: “I’m a big believer in having just a maniacal sense of urgency. So if you can do it after this meeting, I would do it after this meeting. Just a maniacal sense of urgency. Like, if you want to get stuff done, maniacal sense of urgency. Just go ‘aahh!’ Hardcore!”

— Alex Heath (@alexeheath) November 11, 2022

and make a sharper image too

“I’d love to see ads for gizmos…Even if they’re not that great, I’ll still buy gizmos. I love technology. I’ll see content for gizmos but not an ad or an ability to actually buy the gizmo. So then I have to send it to my assistant like, ‘Please buy this gizmo.’”

— Alex Heath (@alexeheath) November 11, 2022

🐦[We ❤️ apartheid
— AIPAC (@AIPAC_USA) November 11, 2022🕸]🐦

Going forward, accounts engaged in parody must include “parody” in their name, not just in bio

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 11, 2022

lol

“I’m not owned!”

Meanwhile, I just got an alert with a Log4j error … in the iOS app. Everything is fine.

is he on coke or did he always talk like this

his vanity project simpsons episode where they get lisa to call him the world's greatest inventor has aged about as well as south park episodes about global warming

Star Trek needs to go back and edit out references to him

lol at whenever people bring up "creators"

I wanna joke about this but holy fuck this is all so surreal and deeply fucking hilarious

https://i.imgur.com/9XGgBxR.jpeg

BREAKING: A second Tesla has hit the World Trade Center

— Tesla (@TesIaReal) November 10, 2022

italian musk has me in tears xD

man sounds so thick when you hear him speak

This was at the end of another piece I read this morning too.

what a sentence pic.twitter.com/AHeoseVX63

— ian bremmer (@ianbremmer) November 10, 2022

This is the most pathetic man in the world pic.twitter.com/3knHxE6ejQ

— isi baehr-breen (its pronounced ‘izzy’) (@isaiah_bb) November 10, 2022

This is wild.

Musk has learned nothing since he was fired from PayPal. https://t.co/lhvFpGZfR7 pic.twitter.com/5QaF4X7UaU

— Asher Langton (@AsherLangton) November 11, 2022

and then you go to mars

Sailors
Fighting in the dancehalls

still leaning hard on the "elon musk is a standard-issue fraudster" lever here

he's not very bright? lots of fraudsters are wildly dim, ponzi and madoff and the FTX guy all got caught bcz one bad day the money wasn't where they said (or anywhere else), they had no plan B

the smart fraudsters are the ones whose names we never learn

you keep repeating that line and frankly it's a little suspicious

👀

Not sure what it would mean for Musk to be a fraudster a la Madoff. Do you mean there's some big accounting fraud lurking inside one or all of his companies?

The most amusing thought to me is how Elon Musk made a social media network an overnight success but its Mastodon

that has been the #TSLAQ hypothesis for years and years running now xp

he's only like madoff in that neither of them are very bright, i wasn't arguing that their schemes were similar, #TSLAQ notwithstanding

EM's -- or at least this is what i was responding to -- is the paypal card twitter bank scheme, which he hasn't yet succeeded in setting up

Many successful companies have turned out to be harboring major accounting fraud. However, the last big wave of accounting scandals was in the early 2000s, and since then regulation has gotten more stringent (e.g. Sarbanes-Oxley). But who knows, maybe we're about due for another wave.

crypto has much less stringent regulation plus an on-going series of, well, revelations and disappopintment shall we say

Well, yes. But despite his occasional boosterism for Dogecoin, Musk doesn't have much to do with crypto, AFAIK.

*crowd watching a horrific car crash* everyone loves this car

Usage of Twitter continues to rise. One thing is for sure: it isn’t boring!

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 10, 2022

we had a big all company meeting to introduce new ppl and the new head of comms for the agency mentioned in her even her intro speech she found time to mention they are "re-evaluating" the overall twitter strategy

Closest I can think of is when Czar Alexander II's train derailed in 1888 and killed 23 people, because Alexander was drunkenly demanding the engineer go faster and when the guy explained that's not how trains work Alexander accused him of being a Jewhttps://t.co/ywfMQG95no

— Zack Budryk (@BudrykZack) November 11, 2022

Henry Ford attempting to stop World War I with The Peace Ship. He thought he'd travel w celebrities from New York to Europe, meet with heads of state, resolve the conflict.

The mission was based on false documents, no celebrities showed up, and there was an influenza outbreak https://t.co/UN5iPXDntb

— David Grossman (@davidgross_man) November 10, 2022

twitters haunted

The rate at which we are finding out incredibly stupid things about this man is unsustainable https://t.co/lOeXmxCQTT pic.twitter.com/VThFpBAKDr

— lauren (@NotABigJerk) November 11, 2022

spooky stuff

That evening, Twitter hosted a Halloween party called “Trick or Tweet” for employees and their families. Some workers dressed in costume and tried to keep the mood festive. Others cried and hugged one another.

Ghost employees don't need health insurance Elon

https://d.ibtimes.co.uk/en/full/1629461/software-developers-chilling-out-work.jpg