Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

St Vincent Street looks good though.

Ye olde trailer breakdown

https://gizmodo.com/indiana-jones-5-trailer-breakdown-dial-of-destiny-ford-1849843527

Dial of Destiny as in he's finally fucked off into retirement and we spend two hours watching him awkwardly decide what to watch on TV?

I'm sure the Falcon shot will be some pseudo-WWII-era plane that he's flying into a faith-based mystical vortex, as a dumb cheeky nod.

Ah, the key question:

LaBeouf and his character will not be in Dial of Destiny, and Mangold promises audiences will "find out what happened" to him, but of course, won't say more.

Hoping 'boiled in oil' is an option.

Indy set him up to get melted like the Temple of Doom Nazis.

Died on the way to his home planet

Beheaded by a low-hanging branch while motorcycling.

"He's a guy who's never happier wearing glasses and reading a book, but somehow finds himself in these kinds of incredible situations. He uses unorthodox weapons to defend himself. He usually figures his way out of trouble with his brain, which is a very different set of circumstances than most of the heroes of our contemporary culture, who are just empowered."

Feel like he's describing a much more clichéd character than Indy here. Indy goes for the blunt, direct approach just as often. The sneaky stuff mostly doesn't work.

Shia LeBouf was just another fragment of Indy's personality.

and in fact he is imagining these adventures

re-watching all the Indian Jones movies after having watched things like King SOlomon's Mines is making me see how Spielberg put movies from his childhood on steroids

I am just now realizing Shia Lebeouf was a timelord

xpost Funnily enough I've ended up doing the same thing recently, halfway through an IJ rewatch now. (The Quartermain trashfires are truly mockbusters of their day.)

Paul Robeson is in King SOlomon's Mines which was a synchronicity for me because I have been listening to him a lot lately. Maybe the new INdy movies needs some baritone musical numbers as well (Sisters of Mercy?)

Dun dah dun dun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQpwONzpcy4

Looks CGIed out its arse.

I hope it's as good as but not as depressing as Logan

The only Super Bowl movie trailer I gave even half a shit about

Dun dah dun dun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQfMbSe7F2g

So here's my real question -- between Denholm Elliott, Jim Broadbent, Ray Winstone and now Toby Jones, does...Indiana Jones have ANY American academic colleagues?

damn outsourcing

Looks CGIed out its arse.

― chap, Monday, February 13, 2023 6:13 AM (one month ago) bookmarkflaglink

More or less than the Call of the Wild trailer?

So here's my real question -- between Denholm Elliott, Jim Broadbent, Ray Winstone and now Toby Jones, does...Indiana Jones have ANY American academic colleagues?

― Ned Raggett, Friday, April 7, 2023 10:53 AM (thirty-six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

The Nazi-era brain drain brought many academics to the U.S., but surely they would be more...Central European?

They were fleeing the evil Stanley Baldwin regime. (Maybe it was.)

if they ever do a modern day reboot Indy can chase down NFTs

I'm in. Dammit.

Per reports, 154 minutes long. Dun-dah-dun-dun, hold-your-piss.

first movie to ever run long because the actor on screen had to take a piss

Dun dah dun dun
Three more days

rewatched all the movies this week
kinda excited for this? idk idk

Excited to see it, just hope it's better than the last one, and that they don't do something dumb with Marion!

I've managed to watch and enjoy the first three films plenty of times since Crystal Skull came out, without Shia LeBouef-adjacent thoughts popping into my head. I tried rewatching Crystal Skull once and only got thirty minutes in, it really is awful.

same, yer get that 'really, how bad could it have been?' and then you watch it and then it's oh christ make it stop.

stop
― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, March 15, 2016 1:07 PM (seven years ago)

I tried rewatching Crystal Skull once and only got thirty minutes in, it really is awful.

What's happening 30 mins in that was so bad?

Rewatched Temple Of Doom a few weeks back and still think it's the weakest of the first four.

It really isn't

cool

Well, at the very least "Temple" starts with the club sequence, which is better than "Crystal Skull" and iirc most of "Last Crusade." But haven't seen the latter in a long time. Have only seen Crystal Skull that one time. And honestly? Just based on the marketing, something seems off about this new one. Feels kinda desperate and cheap, don't know why.

What's happening 30 mins in that was so bad?

- Plot felt inert aimless. The pacing in the first three movies is amazing.
- Bad CGI
- Harrison dialing it in
- Feeble references to Denholm Elliott and Sean Connery
- Personal opinion but I don't think I've enjoyed a single Cate Blanchett performance (although I haven't seen Tar)
- Fridge thing wasn't as funny as it needed to be
- Just didn't grab me!

And IIRC that's still before we even see Shia

Sometimes the line “knowledge was their treasure” drifts unbidden into my mind and my brain just shuts down, so glad my dad paid for my ticket cos I’d be so angry if I’d spent my own money on that pile of shit.

I think 30 minutes in you've endured Cate Blanchett's accent and the nuclear bomb fridge, and you've settled into the jabbed nerve that is every second Shia is on screen. You've not yet hit John Hurt's casualty, who might be the best part.

(xp!)

This started well, and then it gets worse as it goes on, and in the end they fly a plane back in time to meet Archimedes (and not in a good way) and I kind of want to broadcast that 24 hours a day on all media, "Dumbledore killed Snape"-style.

That's not so out of line with things that happen in any of the other four installments

assume the viewer is stirringly instructed to FIND A PLACE TO STAND... AND MOVE YOUR WORLD

Indiana Jones and the Jordan Peterson Audiobook

Walter Chaw: https://www.filmfreakcentral.net/ffc/2023/06/indiana-jones-and-the-dial-of-destiny.html

Worse than nonsense, it's boring nonsense--and, even worse than boring and nonsensical, it all carries with it a mild but pervasive taint of pettiness. So many civilians are casually assassinated. Two of Indy's academic colleagues are gunned down like cattle for no discernible reason but to make the bad guys look worse. A Black FBI (or CIA? It's not clear) agent, Mason (Shaunette Renée Wilson), gets a truly gross closeup on her face as she dies betrayed, which is just one of many examples of dire bullshit you shouldn't do in this age of representation without any sort of understanding of representational issues. Meanwhile, the underwater death of one henchman is so cold it makes the hero responsible more irredeemable than he already was. (Then the picture doesn't have the balls to show the bastard drown.) What I'm trying to say is, there is somehow not one single cheer-worthy moment in this film where Nazis are routinely punched. That's the only surprising trick Indy 5 manages to pull off. John Williams's epoch-defining "Indiana Jones Theme" first swells beneath a 25mph tuk-tuk chase, reducing it to self-parody. It's like using that music to score a video of snails porking. I think about how the Apollo 11 astronauts cameo during a ticker-tape parade that has so little iconographic impact it's offensive to the memory of their deed, and again how this massive boner functions as a microcosm of how irretrievably broken this disasterpiece is--how completely its appeals to our collective childhood have missed what made these movies special in the first place. It's easily the worst film of a series that has been maddening before, scattershot before, even bad before, but never so facile (including the jungle swinging in Crystal Skull). Never so pathetic. I wish I could dial back time a few hours. I wish I didn't have to watch Indiana Jones dodder into dust as Phoebe Waller-Bridge looks on, self-satisfied and knowing. Luckily, most of it's already faded away.

watched the one from 15 years ago on TV last week (first time) and it's a perfectly Fine no-expectations nineteen-years-later george-lucas sequel EXCEPT for LaBoeuf, and especially how his presence defines Marion - Allen brings so much juice, but has nothing to do.

walter chaw making me want to see it more tbh

there aren't really so bad they are good movies anymore especially at this scale, this shit will just be tedious attempted fan service

i feel like the intelligence and care required to make good films or tv within a world full of demanding fanbases has totally evaporated. sometimes you get little miracles like Andor but usually it's just embarrassing to watch.

the problem is also that studios have directly or indirectly kowtowed to these fanbases which signals these toxic assholes that it's ok to impose their will over franchises.

like I remember everybody sharing that stupid Lisa Simpson meme "we should see Sonic the Hedgehog because the studio listened to our concerns", and yeah, if Sonic had been made with the terrible original visual design, it would have been dogshit, so the fans weren't wrong, but I don't see "lol we got the studio to bend the movie purely to the desires of us very obnoxious assholes" as a thing to celebrate in general