Elon Musk

this is the JFK for this generation

my head is spinning as i countenance the dense tangle of orwellian unwords like "bounce"

Companies use internal jargon, news at 11

pretty easy to grift readers if they hang onto your every word, just say a company is doing something mundane and then act as if it's never been done before

at least a bounced account wasn't 86'ed

Damn, Taibbi 51'd everyone, overbearing mod behavior imo

Elon is basically just outright making Twitter part of the right-wing media ecosystem — allowing people to say what they want, for now, but he guides the narrative. Or at least that seems to be the idea. But he can't really do that and have Twitter be any semblance of its former self. It still seems like this just ends up with a Twitter no one wants.

he'll probably die in a strange way.

hopefully at least

like ironically in one of his own Teslas, hopefully

Spoiler

At the end of Twitter Files 3 Mulder and Scully find Taibbi’s body crammed into a duct that smells suspiciously of Morley cigarettes

is he going to sue himself

NEW: Elon Musk is threatening to sue Twitter employees who leak confidential information to the press. He's asking staffers to sign a pledge indicating they've understood. Here's the email:

— Zoë Schiffer (@ZoeSchiffer) December 10, 2022

Shame on those acting in a manner contrary to the company's interests. Only your boss has that privilege.

It still seems like this just ends up with a Twitter no one wants.

Going the way of Gab, Parler, et al.

yeah i'm not sure you get to be the anti-leak guy once you go full assange on your own company

twitter blue now $11 on iphones, and three out of four features are labeled "coming soon" this is so goddamn funny https://t.co/GCJucSKEHe

— Rob DenBleyker (@RobDenBleyker) December 10, 2022

Twitter Blue Balls

11 dollars on ios, not iPhones, 8 dollars on web. that's just passing on the 30% Apple tax to the buyer.

hes on one

can he say this??? pic.twitter.com/6CEXmIQ6dH

— pudding person (@JUNlPER) December 11, 2022

pic.twitter.com/yhEOieaGER

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 11, 2022

thank god we can't hear these tweets at least

So his business model is basically just ... trolling?

man despite how much he's always sucked, this guy has turned out to be so much worse and more obnoxious than i ever would have guessed

its something lol

It’s kind of amazing how not funny or clever this guy is. Just a black hole of cringe and total suck. The most pitiable edgelord.

He's a cross between one of those assholes that says something offensive, then slaps you hard on the back and says "come on, I'm just kidding, lighten up" and one of those other assholes that says something so stupid and not funny that you have to reply, and like a child they take that negative attention as affirmation.

Hope he slips and falls and hits his head and goes into a coma and nobody knows and hackers get into his account and ruin his legacy with fake tweets

That scenario would more plausibly explain what is currently transpiring than 'manic billionaire actively trying to destroy company he just spent millions acquiring'

*billions

Next episode of the "Twitter Files" is up, from asshole Michael Shellenberger. Same as before, shows Twitter employees having serious conversations about how to handle Trump and his threats to public order. Right-wing Twitter is reacting as usual (everyone involved should be locked up, shot, etc).

This whole thing where we're all subjected to Elon Musk's jokes as a condition of being on Twitter has strong overtones of the Vogon poetry plotline from Hitchhiker's Guide.

— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) December 11, 2022

haha

lol

With the "prosecute Fauci" turn seems like he might be a couple of 8-balls away from going full Kanye and tweeting out the Protocols of the Elders of Zion 280 characters at a time.

*4000

ya i'm kinda ll for crackpot genius billionaires actually doing interesting stuff, up until they become str8 up supervillains obv

― darraghmac, Tuesday, August 13, 2013 8:23 AM (nine years ago) bookmarkflaglink

yeah like Trump there's something spooky about his straight up nihilism. like trying to fan the flames of the nonsense pedophilia accusations against Yoel Roth, a guy who was working for him until recently. or just blatantly lying about shit like "ah yes when I took over Twitter I was laser focused on taking down child porn, quite frankly it's disgusting how long they let this slide". the difference is Musk has this pathological need to be seen as funny and smart which makes him such a pathetic villain. there's none of that weird charisma that Trump has. he couldn't have an original or clever thought to save his life. he's such a completely unappealing person. even the late night shows can't find anything funny about him.

even the late night shows can't find anything funny about him.

This part says more about the late night shows than Musk tbh.

fuck both of these guys, obv, but lmao nonetheless

Was at the Dave Chapelle show at SF tonight and who comes on but Elon Musk!

A good 80% of the stadium boos. 18k people. and he withers. Like absolutely turns into a corncob.

“What should I say??” He says

Dave tries to salvage the situation but to no avail

— james yu (@jamesjyu) December 12, 2022

Dave chappelle brought up Elon musk up on stage at the chase center. Had to pry the yonder for this ahaha pt 1 pic.twitter.com/zCYNUf3Hhz

— Cleo PatrA (@CleoPat48937885) December 12, 2022

second account there seems to have been blasted, is musk trying to wipe the footage?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdBga225HBk

second account there seems to have been blasted, is musk trying to wipe the footage?

I really hope so, that always goes well

https://gizmodo.com/elon-musk-booed-stadium-crowd-dave-chappelle-sf-boo-1849881192

Genuinely surprised that Chapelle’s current fans don’t like Musk. Not surprised at all that Chapelle himself likes Musk.

Did he think he would be hailed the conquering hero? This is what happens when a comedian brings up a drunk heckler and gives them the mic, don't know how Chappelle thought this was going to go.

Followed by frankly scary tweets along these lines:

Many battles remain, but, yes, the tide is starting to turn on the mortal threat to civilization that is the woke mind virus

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 12, 2022

brb, got to go stock my woke bunker.

Imagine saying the words “ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for the richest man in the world!” and expecting not-boos

the guy's tax rate should be a million percent

*entire audience boos me because they hate me*

it was the woke mind virus

kinda ironic that Twitter's algorithm, even before he took over, was designed specifically to make guys like Elon feel like the most popular people on the planet and that concerns like "the woke mind virus" and panicking over pronouns were real things that people actually cared about