Donald Trump: Classic or Dud?

Also, to be very clear about my position on this, all of this is extremely funny

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, as long as you WIN

Former president Donald Trump claimed victory in the seniors’ golf championship at his property in West Palm Beach, Florida, over the weekend.

The Daily Mail revealed how the former President orchestrated the feat. “Insiders told DailyMail.com that competitors arriving for day two of the contest on Sunday morning were surprised (although not exactly shocked) to see his name at the top of the leaderboard with a five-point lead over the overnight leader,” the outlet wrote.

“He apparently told members that he had played a cracking round on Thursday, and that would count as his first day’s score.”

The Daily Mail also noted that this is not the first time Trump, a notorious golf cheater, has bent the rules at his own club. The outlet said, “Participants merely shrugged and competed for second place.”

It would not surprise me at all if he started selling the opportunity to lose a round of golf to him. Meaning whatever actually happens on the course, when you get back, he says he won and you nod and smile.

If only all sports were self-officiating

Follows the same logic as stop the steal. When he's in front it's time to stop counting.

I am therefore pleased to announce my future victory in the Super Bowl*

,
* which will be held on my couch and which will be filled with tortilla chips

In conclusion: yum, guacamole

he's like a character in some 1980's National Lampoon movie

anthony's scaramucci's first press conference as press secretary:

But here’s what I tell you about the President. He’s the most competitive person I’ve ever met. Okay, I’ve seen this guy throw a dead spiral through a tire. I’ve seen him at Madison Square Garden with a topcoat on. He’s standing in the key and he’s hitting foul shots and swishing them, okay? He sinks 30-foot putts. I don’t see this guy as a guy that’s ever under siege. This is a very, very competitive person.

scaramucci-heads will remember that he didn't actually say '30-foot putts', he said '3-foot putts'. the white house communications team just changed it for the transcript. what a weird, weird group of people

https://deadspin.com/white-house-alters-transcript-to-clarify-that-the-presi-1797305596

You misspelled putz

It’s hard to believe he is an actual person.

scaramucci-heads

do these exist?

Wait 'til he golfs with Santos and they both win

do these exist?

i'm assuming someone who runs the occupy democrats account is way down deep in this kind of shit

whereas i, reminding everyone of how the 30-foot putt mentioned several years ago was actually a reference to a 3-foot putt, float above it trousers unsoiled

they could have added "He sinks 3 foot putts, blindfolded.." and I would've been impressed

bro

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FnQ9QT3WYAAXYWN?format=jpg&name=medium

Grandpa is drunk but he doesn’t drink

it's ok, his veins are pumping pure Sweet 'n Sour sauce at this point, his right eye is going to pop out of his head soon

he's unarguably a warped, dysfunctional human being, but he sure as f*ck knows his audience

one recent new thing for me to hate about him is how much shittier i eat now. like – he eats mcdonalds and KFC everyday and should have been dead a decade ago. but he's still here, waddling around, sucking oxygen and stuffing his face with quarter pounders.
why should i suffer through salads for lunch and be generally unenthusiastic about my meal choices when that pile of shit is still having the time of his life getting mcdicks hand delivered and slathering ketchup on his steaks?!

he does wear diapers though

eh mcdonalds is not that great. it's not like he gets pleasure from anything--let alone eating

He gets pleasure from hurting people.

The cruelty, and agonising bowel obsctructions, are the point.

why is he still using truth social? wasn't he unbanned?

Isn't he contractually obligated to continue using Truth Social? Wouldn't going to Twitter pretty much be a confession that Truth Social was as much a failure as Trump U, Trump Steaks, the Trump presidency, etc?

He gets pleasure from hurting people.

― castanuts (DJP), Wednesday, January 25, 2023 1:44 PM (fifty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

yep, important point

he always feels bad so he takes pleasure in making others feel bad

maybe that is all that was going on with his negging of silk, a woman mourning her sister who has only every said flattering things about trump

Isn't he contractually obligated

i doubt this is an obstacle

Yeah there's been some reports in the last day or so that he's about to ditch Truth Social and move back to Twitter

"MAGA!!" What's this mean? It's not on my chart

https://www.eslbuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/6e36d48e7ba734aff65c917eb38c9339.jpg

xpost There is no way he won't be feuding with Elon soon

"Ol' Spacey Elon..."

That T is still alive is grist for my tinfoil hat conspiracy theory that there is indeed an island full of clones of our ruling class.

Harvested for pets, of course.

Parts

Sure maybe pet clones too who knows

"Keptin, ve haff gotten a new shipment of trump hairdos."

https://www.startrek.com/sites/default/files/styles/content_full/public/images/inline/2019-01/b5f9ba8039d9df8b3a6acf08fd5d2e84.jpg

He's getting his FB and Instagram pages back

well I'm sure he has no doubt learned his lesson

<3 living in an era with no real consequences for rich white racists

And when TRUTH Social totally implodes, he conveniently has his whipping boy Devin Nunes to blame for it

& Devin is already trying to blame the implosion on the feds. https://www.rawstory.com/devin-nunes-truth-social-funding/

FB & IG checked to see if he was indicted, yet. nope. must be safe to move ahead with Project Loudmouth Liar

would love for Nunes to be crushed by a backhoe

Or one of his cows.

apparently he said on his little social media platform (in ALL CAPITALS) that he could finish the war in Ukraine in less than 24 hours

For whose side?

Hello! Vladimir? Donald here. I'm calling about that little scrape you've gotten into in The Ukraine. Yup, it's crazy, I know. But I have an idea. Just hear me out. Those new-cue-lar bombs you've got over there are just collecting dust, right? I say, use 'em. War'll be done in less than 24 hours. No, don't thank me. Happy to help. Bye.

More like he would side with Putin, pull all support for Ukraine, pressure allies to do the same and then just let Putin steamroll the country. Done: war finished.