Elon Musk

guess he forgot he is police

Rick Ross - Fuck Tha Me

The poor engineers at Twitter have to talk to these weirdos Elon invites and pretend like they're trying to solve the imaginary problem that their tweets don't get enough likes pic.twitter.com/Ikalc8GN1o

— Wild Geerters (@steinkobbe) January 27, 2023

twitter engineers supplying dave rubin with a black box that makes his posts less shit

at last a task worthy of AI

it has self driving tho

@elonmusk @TeslaOwnersWW @BLKMDL3 Family was excited to receive Tesla Y delivery on 1/24/2023. Was driving on highway and all the sudden steering wheel fall off, was lucky enough there was no car behind and I was able to pull on devider #SafetyFirst #Fixit #TeslaModelY #help pic.twitter.com/4UMokFA2cv

— Prerak (@preneh24) January 30, 2023

#fixit

If your steering wheel falls off just lean to the right or left to turn the car.

You are too strong. I wasn’t able to fall off any steering wheel of my two Teslas. Lol

— Khlee (@Khlee15052283) January 30, 2023

xpost - Elon leaned so hard to the right that he's still spinning in circles out in the parking garage

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/ClearcutAptGecko.webp

it kills me that the I Think You Should Leave focus group sketch is basically Tesla irl

he admit it!

threb

2️⃣ The verification scandal in November was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Data from the Standard Media Index (SMI) suggests that ad spend on Twitter dropped by 71% in December year on year. It was 55% in November.

— John McCarthy (@JohnGeeMcCarthy) January 31, 2023

Since the Elonjet thing this guy seems to have scaled back his public bullshit. Maybe someone was able to convince him to stfu.

omg

God it's so fucking funny that he fired everyone who knows how the site works pic.twitter.com/cPxvEIUWkN

— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) February 1, 2023

supposedly bonuses get paid out today so there may be another exodus happening

i think Twitter just straight up doesn’t have a support team anymore. an A-list celebrity’s account being hacked and used to phish payment info from fans isn’t something that used to just stay unresolved for over 24 hours lol pic.twitter.com/ELjISQcXPq

— LeMucus Triller Moth (@legotrillermoth) February 1, 2023

xp: nov 1, feb 1, may 1, aug 1 aka "quitting day at twitter". google pays out stock every month so people can quit year round.

nice of them

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FoDjX-zWQAAkOaI?format=png&name=small

lol

there’s like no way they have actually programmed that

yeah tho i guess they couldve already had it ready to go

Like pre-Elon it was built and then killed? Seems plausible

Does that mean if advertisers spam your replies you get money? What the fuck?

"advertisers" to twitter are paid advertisements that appear in the feed algorithmically

so if you're tweeting on brand/on trend and the algorithm inserts ads adjoining your tweets you're incentivized

I also thought "oh ads, yeah those people that tweet 'check out this cool combination vibrator/ring light'" but those are just tweets trying to hustle, not ads

absolutely incredible pic.twitter.com/v8KBYtJXcg

— cait (@punished_cait) February 4, 2023

Makes it even better!

I’m ready for Elon Musk to sunset

Sadly he gets a pass today.

https://www.reuters.com/legal/securities-fraud-trial-over-elon-musks-2018-tweets-draws-close-2023-02-03/

tl;dr Tesla's Elon Musk found not liable in trial over 2018 'funding secured' tweets

ah! well. nevertheless,

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FoS9gJiWAAYdcPX?format=jpg&name=large

not everything can be turned into a 24 scenario

many of the strange behaviors we see in society today - conservatives thinking they can shoot down a balloon that's 11 miles in the air, true crime women keeping scrapbooks out of fear they will be murdered - stem from a condition that i call "thinks movies are real brain"

— lauren (@NotABigJerk) February 4, 2023

human: please computer just say the n word in order to save the world

computer: no

the only time isaid the "N word" i said it with perfect frequency/timing to intercept & cancel out the sound waves of another guy saying it,

— wint (@dril) April 8, 2021

the movie in question being Die Hard 3

When you think about it, isn't "No" the real "N word"?

Sony headphones canceled

elon musk? the cunt that got rich thanks to south africa politics and apartheid?

"Can I say the n word to stop a murder? What about nuclear armageddon? TELL ME WHEN I CAN SAY IT GODDAMMIT."

worst ppl i know all otm:

Very grateful -- genuinely! -- to @elonmusk for making this possible. pic.twitter.com/KIDy0lo3RU

— Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) February 7, 2023

all my favorite characters in one spot!

It's like when the mobs in Minecraft turn on each other

Oh Elon

https://www.theverge.com/2023/2/9/23593099/elon-musk-twitter-fires-engineer-declining-reach-ftc-concerns

On Tuesday, Musk gathered a group of engineers and advisors into a room at Twitter’s headquarters looking for answers. Why are his engagement numbers tanking?

“This is ridiculous,” he said, according to multiple sources with direct knowledge of the meeting. “I have more than 100 million followers, and I’m only getting tens of thousands of impressions.”

One of the company’s two remaining principal engineers offered a possible explanation for Musk’s declining reach: just under a year after the Tesla CEO made his surprise offer to buy Twitter for $44 billion, public interest in his antics is waning.

Employees showed Musk internal data regarding engagement with his account along with a Google Trends chart. Last April, they told him, Musk was at “peak” popularity in search rankings, indicated by a score of “100.” Today, he’s at a score of nine. Engineers had previously investigated whether Musk’s reach had somehow been artificially restricted but found no evidence that the algorithm was biased against him.

Musk did not take the news well.

“You’re fired, you’re fired,” Musk told the engineer. (Platformer is withholding the engineer’s name in light of the harassment Musk has directed at former Twitter employees.)

i feel bad for this poor fired Twitter engineer but on the whole this story is so funny https://t.co/FhKNufNS6n pic.twitter.com/NTwF9zfz14

— Rachel Cohen (@rmc031) February 9, 2023

The disarray makes it less likely that Musk will ever recoup the $44 billion he spent to buy Twitter, and may hasten its decline into insolvency.

man, elon musk sucks badly

Another victim of the tweep state.

Oh this too.. I'm sure the orders came from Lord Musk:

The president of SpaceX revealed the company has taken active steps to prevent Ukrainian forces from using the critical Starlink satellite technology with Ukrainian drones that are a key component of their fight against Russia.

“There are things that we can do to limit their ability to do that,” Gwynne Shotwell told reporters on Wednesday, referencing reports on Starlink and drone use. “There are things that we can do, and have done.”

Fuckers

now there will be pressure to artificially inflate his impressions while also making musk feel like he totally earned it. the rich dude fantasy