Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here

idk maybe my perception is based on being one of ilx's few female posters ...

you can also do the classic ilx move and start a poll of posts that gyac called stupid, including your post, and gain reassurance through group approval ...

Oh cool, I’m so glad this is continuing.

Just so we’re clear, though, I don’t feel bad about calling a post stupid if the thread it was in had good discussion and also the NI comparison is unbelievably crass and tone deaf bearing in mind how poisonous the discourse is in the UK about it. LS reads the UK politics thread so I assume he knows I am Irish as I mention it in the context of xenophobia towards Irish people specifically in relation to the protocol and post Brexit issues. So actually, no, make a comment like that and stupid is very very very mild criticism.

But sure, I’m the problem and not the fact that I frequently comment on bigoted posts people make. Those are fine.

, I don’t feel bad about calling a post stupid if the thread it was in had good discussion and also the NI comparison is unbelievably crass and tone deaf bearing in mind how poisonous the discourse is in the UK about it. LS reads the UK politics thread so I assume he knows I am Irish

I didn't point this out in my comment because I didn't feel like it was worth stating something that should have been obvious to LS when they made that initial post ... I have made crass and tone deaf posts in my 14 year ilx history, and I am embarrassed by them, and I definitely have no desire to bring any of them back up. I would like to think that I either apologized for them or sat with the discomfort, and then tried to do better in the future.

I respectfully decline to engage on this.

going back to a classic mod response when DJP was a mod ... "this is a good one to let go"

We could definitely make a poll of gyac posts that dudes weirdly fixate over and keep bringing up months later but I’m waiting for there to be a few more, I can only think of 3 canonical examples

i was merely thinking that you could ilx search "stupidest post" and then poll those options, and maybe steer the poll away from posts that gyac called "stupidest" and include other ilxors' judgments of posts as "stupidest" so that the poll isn't just about one ilxor ... though really the idea of the poll in the first place was a joke.

In any case, much as I love having another nice struggle session I’m still waiting for an explanation about how my commenting on the atmosphere that produces posts like that unperson one, or whatever, is worse than having to read that shit on here as though it’s acceptable. Like I would estimate the majority of posts I’m combative on are about stuff that matters to me, so I’m kind of confused* why that’s so upsetting. What should I do instead? I’m all ears.

*i am not remotely confused, this is sarcasm.

where was that unperson post? what thread?

duh ... i know how to search, sorry for asking you

In my mind that thread is the male equivalent of the "no boys" thread ... like it's men talking about what masculinity means to them ... I stay in my lane and don't go there.

Not saying that you shouldn't go there, gyac, just ... explaining why I didn't note that post.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTRBUnjAgq8

abesimpsonrevolvingdoor.gif

it’s weird i thought the show was always middlebrow pop consumer sci fi bs, but i guess even it’s wack charms are now gone

Too bad his parents didn’t consider it for 52 years after

In any case, much as I love having another nice struggle session I’m still waiting for an explanation about how my commenting on the atmosphere that produces posts like that unperson one, or whatever, is worse than having to read that shit on here as though it’s acceptable. Like I would estimate the majority of posts I’m combative on are about stuff that matters to me, so I’m kind of confused* why that’s so upsetting. What should I do instead? I’m all ears.

*i am not remotely confused, this is sarcasm.

― here you go, muttonchops Yaz (gyac), Sunday, February 19, 2023 5:26 PM (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

I didn't participate in the conversation, but since you're asking and I actually thought about those posts after reading them, I'd say it's the chain you construct from general atmosphere in the UK/world to you being upset to assuming an individual poster is [sexist] to the lashing condescending tone of "you do realize you just did abc". It did seem like stopping a conversation by making the worst assumptions possible about someone or misunderstanding them on purpose, on a forum that is generally educated and sensitive and civil, and I wondered why you'd choose to do that and wonder why you seem to have gained something here by forcing an apology ? It's not like unperson is going around all day being unthoughtful and tactless, and I thought his post was clear.

So basically it must be possible to separate things better

Nah, bozo.

The conversation I allude to has gone on for quite a long time especially among female ilxors, on and off here, and unperson has made comments like these before. In any case, please explain to me why using a derogatory term like “young pussy” should be acceptable in a shared space, and please explain to me exactly why me commenting on this is the issue and not the fact that people feel comfortable making those remarks.

Why would I choose to do that? I don’t know, maybe I feel like a shared space on the internet shouldn’t tolerate that kind of stuff? It isn’t rocket science. I have to say, I didn’t foresee anyone defending that comment but ilx will always go lower, I guess.

And just because I want people to see exactly what you’re defending:

https://i.postimg.cc/ZqyprHfV/24-A28-C30-6-CD3-4-AB1-98-F2-7396-B594639-E.jpg

https://i.postimg.cc/QCDQN7JS/944-A6-C4-D-DD96-4-A9-D-9-ED6-6-BAFCB4-ADA90.jpg

https://i.postimg.cc/3xNgwY2M/5-FF41-DBD-11-DA-445-D-9-DDC-60-B0484-F623-D.jpg

https://i.postimg.cc/j5Hf15Yf/ABA547-C8-8-F11-4022-8219-A9-A0-AA62-B6-B0.jpg

But yeah, you’re completely right of course. The problem is that I didn’t keep my mouth shut and let the man talk about how non sexist he is. The problem is that my comment expressing this incredulity is lashing, you know, like there’s nothing dehumanising about reducing a woman to a descriptive as a literal hole. Nothing bad there, no, absolutely not.

Ofc the icing on the cake was that once a man piped up to say that he also had a problem with it then the tune changed entirely.

"wonder why you seem to have gained something here by forcing an apology"

Looking at that thread unperson only apologized after Neanderthal said he was uncomfortable..xp indeed, an exchange which follows from the screenshot.

Ofc the icing on the cake was that once a man piped up to say that he also had a problem with it then the tune changed entirely.

Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right. If we're being fully frank (and why shouldn't we be?), I came away from our initial exchange thinking that your reading of my post was uncharitable (portrayal of sexism is not the same thing as sexism) and possibly rooted in one-to-one personal dislike. When someone else, someone I don't think actively dislikes me, expressed similar misgivings, I was forced to reconsider, and think okay, maybe I am the asshole here. But since you're still pounding the table about it more than a week later, I'm inclined to revert to my previous interpretation, which is that even if I did fuck up, you only called it out because you don't like me, or saw my post as useful for your larger project of shouting about The Grotesque Misogyny Of ILX.

lol

In conclusion: boys will be boys.

And if you’re female and want to post here, you’d better keep your mouth shut on anything that you find objectionable.

Yeah right, men-women only interacting like alien species where gender issues are only understandable by the latter is exactly my experience. If "boys will be boys" is the premise and the conclusion, I wonder why you bother.

I’m very sorry that you can’t read.

If "boys will be boys" is the premise and the conclusion, I wonder why you bother.

― Nabozo, Wednesday, 22 February 2023 bookmarkflaglink

An apology was issued at the time and then retracted bcz the person has decided to make up a persecution in their head. Just being "frank", you know..

Nobody cares you've been shouted at by a woman over some sexist comment. Log off.

I'd urge you to consider how you'd feel if you found yourself writing "this language was a way of inhabiting the mindset of a casual racist", and what might follow.

imo gyac was being entirely reasonable in pointing out what she found unacceptable in unpersons post.

or saw my post as useful for your larger project of shouting about The Grotesque Misogyny Of ILX.

What are the dividends on that project btw? Do we have an increase of women posters in the past two years? If yes, then 100% worth it.

I think you should have enough for that poll now, wins.

I'd urge you to consider how you'd feel if you found yourself writing "this language was a way of inhabiting the mindset of a casual racist", and what might follow.

every time Betamax resurfaces on here like some troublesome buoyant turd that won't flush down, this board loses quite a few percent of its vitality and the cunt quotient goes up at least a 100% - that much is for certain

jesssssssssus fuck guys, this is an ugly run of posts.

I mean it's no secret that gyac and I have not gotten along here in the past, but just about every grievance in this odd pile-on against her is unnecessarily hostile and bizarre (I mean, unperson was referred to, so I at least understand why he might have responded, though I thought the response was unnecessarily harsh). not to mention continuing to dredge up a year old post because you're sad that she didn't find it funny, Luna.

i'm a fuckup myself so i ain't saying I get it right often but yeesh, y'all, read back what you wrote in the sober light of day and realize how it looks and comes across. it's ugly. please understand what it looks like when a bunch of men are standing in line teeing off on a woman whose initial complaints were about sexism! i don't dislike anybody here but I dislike where this thread has gone.

Neanderthal

Just to correct a small point: I didn't continue to dredge up a year old post. In fact what happened is that whenever I commented recently on a Gyac post, she would say 'is this because I didn't laugh at your joke?' [Answer: no - you're overthinking it - I just didn't like your post]

You literally referred to it in all three of the posts I mentioned above?

I'd urge you to consider how you'd feel if you found yourself writing "this language was a way of inhabiting the mindset of a casual racist", and what might follow.

n theory I agree with NV, but I dislike the tone of posts that assume a superior attitude/greater moral or virtuous authority. And posts that attempt to thread-police like gyac's (pvic) are anathema to me.

ILM is a smorgasbord and it's better to take the foie gras and the wagyu beef with the pig swill rather than try to police it too tightly imo.

― Luna Schlosser, Wednesday, 1 February 2023 13:03 (three weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

You’re right, nobody should realise ilx is a community and say anything about anyone’s behaviour. Better to silently drop off. Better to hold grudges about jokes that didn’t quite work for a year, that’s obviously completely normal.

― here you go, muttonchops Yaz (gyac), Wednesday, 1 February 2023 13:08 (three weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

0sorry I messed up the quote highlighting there)

I’m going to lay it out nice and clear for you because that’s a take and a half. And by the way, in case you’re like “why so many screenshots?”, well I imagine the various posts in this shitshow of a thread have provided some clarity.

your initial post in my boundaries thread:
https://i.postimg.cc/VkZG6dC8/E53-BBA91-42-D0-433-C-829-F-08-E0918016-EE.jpg

you return to marvel at the fact I was too stupid to grasp your sophisticated joke
https://i.postimg.cc/VkZG6dC8/E53-BBA91-42-D0-433-C-829-F-08-E0918016-EE.jpg

You reference the exact same thing in a post in Left’s Beatles thread:
https://i.postimg.cc/pXx11NHg/F2-A4-F161-0-DFB-4-A1-C-92-AD-7723-CF896-A4-D.jpg

So after this you think you’re being misconstrued over repeatedly bringing this up? Really?

That post, btw, was where I was annoyed people were hijacking what was an interesting thread with barely veiled homophobia. Yeah, I know I said that upthread already, but there seems to be some difficulty with reading comprehension.

Oh sorry, I messed up the second screenshot, should have been:
https://i.postimg.cc/fRRqDxkC/3-B6-FEFED-D2-C7-4639-9337-D0-E333-D5-EF39.jpg

Luna, will you please take a break? Jesus.

But yeah table I’m not interested in doing so either, but after having to read absolute lies and shit about myself last time people decided to cash in their grudges, not letting it slide this time.

Neanderthal, thank you. I have people I’ve disagreed with on here here but not a single one of them deserves to be subjected to any stripe of bigotry, and I think you have to call it out cos otherwise it calcifies and well- you see.

What bit went over gyac's head? Out of interest.

a very stupid post by Luna Schlosser utilizing Northern Ireland as a metaphor. it was a dumb post!