Donald Trump: Classic or Dud?

CNN commentators keeping saying “this is sad” and I’m like “shut up, fool”

he refused to ever once listen to a lawyer lol

Sad is the fact that this sentient mound of rancid pubic hair was elected President in the first place, all of this is funny as shit

lmao are we really gonna get to go through this 2 or 3 more times this year

#SantaIsReal

It’s UNPRECEDENTED that you were so BAD at crimes that you got arrested and arraigned for something that has probably been done before, you stupid fucking bag of pimple pus

― castanuts (DJP

chances are the talking heads on cnn were carefully instructed not to be happy because that would show bias, so the producer chose 'sad' as the neutral script to work from. it's all just 'doing business' to them.

While all this is going on, note this thread (yeah yeah, breaking, but kinda justified here):

🚨 BREAKING - MARK MEADOWS 🚨

Okay, we're spelunking in sealed dockets & h/t to @TimInHonolulu for noticing.

Last Wednesday, Trump appealed Judge Howell's order requiring Meadows, Dan Scavino, Jason Miller to testify before Jack Smith's 1/6 grand jury /1 https://t.co/j0K1tsxPdv

— Opening Arguments (@openargs) April 4, 2023

End result?

And just a few minutes ago, the panel unanimously DENIED Trump's motion to vacate Judge Howell's order & to stay proceedings, which means unless the Supreme Court steps in -- and Trump has gone 0-for at SCOTUS on these requests -- Meadows et al. WILL be required to testify. /6 pic.twitter.com/p3uJqryAey

— Opening Arguments (@openargs) April 4, 2023

Basically in combination with the Pence ruling, the Corcoran one, etc., all kinds of people who can't normally talk or wouldn't normally be able to re that federal grand jury in DC will have to do a lot of same.

he refused to ever once listen to a lawyer lol

If he started listening to their advice he might have to start paying them.

are we gonna get a mug shot out of this?

doubt it. maybe a gag order.

Hopefully he'll get in an "I'm out of order? I'M out of order? YOU'RE out of order, this whole court's out of order!" while pounding the table

He doesn't look very confident in the first courtroom photos coming out or as he walked in. He looks exactly like a white collar criminal who knows he has run out of options.

there he is

First photo of Trump inside the courtroom @AP pic.twitter.com/kfq6JeGIHo

— Jesse Rodriguez (@JesseRodriguez) April 4, 2023

Of course, Jesus' own people demanded his crucifixion.

Specifically George Soros.

He looks like he was caught taking a shit in Rockefeller Center.

part of me wants a mug shot, part of me doesn't want him to have the martyr-fuel

xxp Pilate was a Soros-funded animal

and then he said "you're the best looking man I've ever mugshot, sir"

The indictment has been unsealed

Will be live on the web shortly

And no mug shot will be taken, allegedly

how will we know what the defendant looks like

conspiracy charges appear to be in play

Arrested for dropping mad dookie

In my fevered imagination the defendant is wearing prison garb but for some reason also a stupidly long necktie in a boring solid color

No gag order, but Trump was warned about making social media posts that would potentially cause violence and unrest. I'm sure that'll work out

Don jr posted a photo the judge's daughter during the hearing.

Dry reading but

https://www.manhattanda.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/Donald-J.-Trump-Indictment.pdf

Kind of surprising that there isn't more here than falsifying business records.

Don jr posted a photo the judge's daughter during the hearing.

Ugh.

Stay classy, republipeeps

The Statement of Facts is more interesting than the indictment itself. Lays out the whole story, and yeah, it's more than just Stormy Daniels — it's her, Karen McDougal, and a Trump Tower doorman who claimed Trump had another, secret, kid.

!

That secret kid? Shia LaBoeuf

Bragg strikes me as impressively assured in this press conference.

Oh MY FUCKING GOD: MSNBC is showing a split screen of Bragg and Trump's getaway plane.

I'm done.

Already seeing the MAGA headlines now:

OMG he fudged a few ledgers? Everyone does that.

I'm sharing the SOF for my friends instead.

Thanks for the links!

OMG he fudged a few ledgers?

in the commission of another crime... therein lies the felony

Alvin’s been like this since college

The right guy at the right time.

no conspiracy charge some sort of misunderstanding apparently

Get the door yourself, chump

The court officers very much did not hold the door for Trump when he walked past the pool cameras pic.twitter.com/XvSlxjM8Qz

— Peter Stevenson (@PeterStevenson) April 4, 2023

love it

Incoming tweetstorm: "The door thing was big - a thread"

those cops probably have electrical and drywall contractors in the family that were stiffed by Trump & Co. years ago

Nowhere is he despised more than in his own hometown

I tend to think NYC cops are the only ones who have reason to dislike him.

I'm putting together a screenplay about those cops. It practically writes itself

Title THE SNUB

In the criminal justice system, crims committed by people with stupid hairdos are considered especially heinous.

DON DON

ACAB: All Cops Are Bad (At Door Etiquette)

DING (DON)G! Who's Hair? Don't Ding Don During Door Duty Dammit (riveting 6 episode docuseries)