Worst TV adverts of the moment

(Unless you are an actual baby. That is acceptable.)

the advert I've seen about a dozen times now, about the autistic girl struggling with external stimuli, is, it turns out, for washing powder

I've been barraged by this Temu ad while playing cheesy phone games recently.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgNuwb9lpeg

I like it
*Yup!*
It’s mine
The prices blow my mind
*Cha-ching!*
I feel so rich
*Ooh yah!*
I feel like a billionaire

Most chilling part is when the little girl opens the Temu box and there is a Temu employee/oompaloompa grinning up at her.

Yup.

who is gig hadid and why does she think pasta and diet coke is such a treat?

(gigi)

There's nothing particularly wrong with this advert beyond the fact that the male character looks like the late England football manager, Graham Taylor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEZGEjK_J1w

two different adverts (bank, squash) using the same alicia keys song. ick.

i see the 4 people in a cafe upsetting the 5-obsessed clientele far too often. i'm sure it means something to someone.

this new Argos advert is bad trip fucked up

Rob Quartermain, head of marketing campaigns, Argos said: “We can’t wait for the nation to fall in love with Connie and Trevor as they bring the assortment of products we offer to life, using premium brands as well as our iconic Habitat range.”

Toby Allen, ECD, The&Partnership said: “One of the nation’s best loved retailers sells the grown-up stuff too. Who better to deliver that message than the toys themselves? A savvy doll and a lovable dinosaur are the new faces of Argos, showing a new side to what it sells.”

i mean it goes without saying that everybody who works in advertising is evil

"are you still using your hands when putting on your shoes?"

i am and i feel like such an idiot

opened next week's listing magazine and out fell six (6) Pure Cremation leaflets. 'as seen on tv'

Did you burn them?

Bit of a sick joke these Channel 4 adverts for coverage of England's Euros campaign.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I5-G0yNXdE

Typical English modesty.

There's an advertising campaign for nappies (diapers) which has been running for a few years, one of those where they've coined a new word, which in this case in "poonami."

I get the word is a portmanteau of poo and tsunami, but it doesn't look like poo and tsunami, it looks like "punani" - which given that the adverts feature an eyebrow-raising baby is previously undiscovered levels of ick.

I regret to inform you that "poonami" has been used in the world of parenting for sone time...

yes I noticed that too. immediately put filthy dancehall track "Punami" in my head which I have to assume was not the intention.

The Thames Water ones annoy me. Are they even ads, given that in any place in the UK you have no choice of water supplier? Maybe they are just PR campaigns.

One goes on and on about how they're fixing leaks 24-7. Oh the thing that is literally your job, and also why did you let the pipes get in such a state in the first place? (dividends, shareholders, grumble grumble).

Also the one with the puppet, which is a terrible puppet. Apparently it is supposed to be an otter. I thought it was a rat, given they live in the sewers.

Voyage Privé's current TV ad states that they sell "packaged holidays", a comically Mr Burnsesque commitment to faux poshness

Rightmove's decision to do a normcore "this is the place where we're happy" celebration of the nuclear family but drench it in unspoken melancholy is a bold one

that annoying cornetto advert is back, the one with the shrieking and the unfunny reveal.

the tesco emoji face advert is creepy, like a rictus grin.

Burger king: making people feel like idiots for ordering almpst anything on your menu doesn't seem like a great marketing strategy.

that one annoys me because someone is obviously singing "chicken royal" amongst the others singing "chicken royale"

in a perhaps related note, "reading eggs".

Burger King writing "You rule" on all of their signs is a weird campaign

is it the burger king advert or another fast food outlet in the uk at the moment where the serving staff solemnly shake the customers hand? no thank you.

that's the KFC ads

if anybody shakes my hand instead of putting chicken in it, arms get broke

actual lol at "as soft as sea foam, as pure as a parent's love"

i like the ones that end with the sinister "always keep away from children"

are you chatting shit about my milk-slice??

yeah that is loool

the dove advert for anorexia, or something, needs to stop. must've seen it 10 times today and that weird squeal she does at the start bugs me every time.

"I'm glad you didn't buy an electric car" ad also needs to go

"They got me back in the game baby!"

The one that is sticking with me these days is this golfer Lee Trevino add for knee pain help. That tag line makes me chuckle. They seem to show it every 3 commercials during Jeopardy every night.

New Verisure with the golfer has some of the worst acting yet in their ever expanding oeuvre.

i've been meaning to comment on that one. the layers of possibility - is he meant to be a parody of a toff? why would you portray your target customers as buffoons? is this about creating "aspirational" characters that are in a higher class bracket than your actual target market, and it's been done very ham-fistedly, or are they going for some cult ironic badness thing in a Go Compare mode? why does the Verisure lad guarding the patio look vaguely familiar from some ancient sitcom or something?

Good questions, one and all. I don't think Verisure do irony though.

if it is parody it's brilliant. the production values have reached a point where i'm thinking surely somebody has to have pointed out how shitty the scripts and acting are?

maybe Mr Verisure is one of those intense control freak guys like Mr Wetherspoons or Mr Sam Smiths who won't let anybody interfere with his vision

Uber Eats ad with the heavily perspiring guy letting drops of melted ice cream fall on his kecks.

is that the verisure advert that just drops in the name of their new ZeroVision thing without explaining what it is (a smoke bomb basically)? the way he says "burglar ran away" is very peculiar

also i can't believe we've got this far without anyone mentioning the Sausage advert.

Oh no, "burglar ran away" ran away is a different one, there's something slightly off about that one too, gives off a 'middle aged gay couple on a caravanning holiday' vibe. Also I'd be more scared of the guy who says "burglar ran away" than the burglar who, er, ran away.

I'm not sure even a good actor could deliver the line the verisure golfer is required to say. I'm p sure no human being who has every existed has said that collection of words in that order or ever would spontaneously.

also from bitter experience a golf ball hit into a pane of glass does not come to rest embedded in aforementioned glass.

Old bloke crying desperately on holiday.

It's uncomfortable viewing, you'd think he came away on holiday to take his mind off the death of his wife

In fact, his suitcase with lots of Heinz Baked Beans got lost in transit.

Will it sell one additional can of beans? No.

the end justifies the beans

That seems like the Bizarro world version of the latest Publix commercial, which tracks a girl and her stepfather through the years up to her wedding, when she finally calls him "Dad."

It has fuck all to do with groceries, but it makes me tear up every time.

Speaking of Heinz.... Watched the Hard Sell episode on (my beloved) WeatherGens last week - the sheer effort they put into ostensibly minor things for aesthetic pleasure etc - and the other day I caught ITV weather and saw the Heinz sponsorship and the whole enterprise was made to seem even more functional than before even though I knew too damn well but yes. Cough.

the new currys ads with them eating the manuals and her with the beard

if you wrote the new Pepsi Max advert, you're probs a cunt

the Heinz Beans ad really is vile and i expect it'll be gone or edited v differently in pretty short order

i do enjoy how Currys ads are all "our USP is that the staff can regurgitate the meaningless manufacturer's blurb like this is gonna inform you as a customer in some way"