start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

when did it become acceptable to just drastically change plans at the 11th hour? like I don't mean "oh hey, we were going to have our friend's birthday dinner at Bar A, but we're going to Bar B instead", when both bars are within miles of each other. but like completely and fundamentally changing them.

so today's a packed day. It's my brother's birthday, I had tickets to the Orlando City match (as a season ticket holder), and I'd been invited to see the band Massacre at a local venue. Originally had just planned to just go to the soccer game, as the fam and I are having dinner with the bro and his fiancee tomorrow, then go home after, as it'd be too late to get to the Massacre show. then last week, my bro's best friend invites me to a dinner they're having for my bro tonight at Buca di Beppo at 7.

I figured it'd be good to see him on his birthday, so I said fuck it, and sold the soccer tickets. The Buca is ten minutes from my house, which is perfect. and because of that, I realized I could probably make the Massacre show after all, as dinner is likely to be done by 8:15 - 8:30, and the show is also 10 mins from my house. so I told that friend on Thursday I'd be good to go, and bought a ticket. it'd work perfectly, as I could go from Buca, to my house, take care of dad, and then continue East to the venue. a fun night with a variety of people.

not a peep from the best friend in the FB Event since the day he invited me, until this morning. at 11 am, the friend announces that he's changed the location from the Buca in Maitland to the Buca on 192 in Celebration, a difference of 26 miles, 45 minutes. he states it's because it's more centrally located for most of them.

so now that's a 90 minute, 52 mile round trip, a trip I'm in no mood to take after the awfulness of last night, but also would obliterate my plans, as I wouldn't be able to make the show on time, so would have to eat the ticket and bail on the friend.

The only reason I accepted the invite is because of how centrally located it was. if his friend had chosen this alternate location initially, or even several days ago, I probably would have just opted not to go, keep my soccer tickets, and just see him on Sunday as we originally planned. Instead, he pulls a bait and switch at the 11th hour. of course, the gathering is a surprise - my brother only knows he's going there, doesn't know that other people are coming, so I can't talk to HIM about it.

so I responded somewhat pass-agg to the friend that I was no longer going as the new location no longer worked with my plans, and that I'd just see him tomorrow. it's for the best because his friends and I are like oil and water, we don't dislike each other, but I always feel alienated around them. I'm sure friend is talking me up like I'm some asshole now but come the fuck on bruh.

Sympathies. My family of origin has been like "let's just wing it" since approximately 1953. You can't ever pin them down about basics like "precisely where shall we meet, and when?" These people (whom I love) are always like, "we'll see."

I don't love it but I'm used to it. However, it infuriates my wife, who would understandably prefer a modicum of accuracy for planning purposes.

when did it become acceptable to just drastically change plans at the 11th hour?

Acceptable, I can't say, but cellphones definitely accelerated the practice.

in my bro's case, I get why they're the type that wing it, almost all of my bro's friends live near the theme parks because they almost all work there. and almost none of them have dependents at home, so they just assume everyone's like them and lives out that way and doesn't actually have to plan their day or actually base said plans on the distance of the drive to said place.

honestly I'm somewhat relived and amused as this place doesn't fit their style at all. His friends, being theater kids who struggle with punctuality, like to drop in at random points of the night rather than being on time. most are on a fixed income, so they want to ensure they don't order anything too mega expensive and then like to abruptly ask for their checks whenever they feel like leaving.

Buca di Beppo is family style, with no individual sized portions - meals either feed 3 or feed 5. If you're not bringing a +1, you have to find someone else to share with, unless you want to order 3 times the food you can eat in one evening, take most of it home, and pay $30 for it. any solo diner who partners with a couple to order and share food will then have to figure out how to split up the bill, and likely both parties will be wanting to leave the dinner at different times. and the entire table isn't just going to split the check evenly as there are certain to be friends who are coming after rehearsals who are only there to drink.

the restaurant's meant for your group to be in and out in 60-90 minutes, and they'll be there probably several hours, with frustrated waiters trying to keep everything together.

also guarantee that the number of people who show up will be three times the amount that RSVPed, lol. some will show up that werent even invited.

A pet peeve has always been flakey friends who make plans for the daytime and then cancel them when they wake up with a hangover or w/e. But since retiring from the social scene I've realised that being a person who actually follows up with plans you make when you're out of an evening is highly unusual and not expected by anyone. Suspect it all has something to do with being in the habit of always stubbornly pushing myself to do things I don't feel like doing in the moment, which is ultimately a coping mechanism for ADHD.

Agree with both sides, if possible. I still haven't forgotten my friend who called me at nine on a Sunday morning, saying she was on her way over to take me to the horse track. Apparently the night before, after a few sips, I had even gotten to the point of saying, "Even if I say I'm too tired to go, ignore me and just pick me up!"

Only threw up once on the way. Won $80. Asked her where her boyfriend (now husband) was, and she replied, "Oh, he just said 'fuck that,' rolled over and went back to sleep."

My father is the king of "Call me when you're about to leave."

I say, "We'll be there at two."

He'll say, "Call me when you're about to leave."

I'll say, "Just look out your door at two."

He'll say, "Can you call me once you take the exit?"

Etc.

hoping you threw up outside the car!

I did. Fortunately, I hadn't said anything like, "And if I say 'pull over,' don't do it!"

lol!

yeah being in a car that you aren't driving with a hangover is almost a recipe for nausea.

one of the funniest drinking fouls was when we were all going to my friend's bachelor party in 2012. I was driving the groom and a few friends, and groom's brother was in another car. he was pretty much lit up when he got in the car, and then at our first rest stop, the driver of said car was angry because apparently groom's brother yacked all over the back seat of his car. just 90 minutes into the bachelor party trip

I just gave pplains' father the business for texting me while driving. He took it as well as someone not in the mood for my safety lectures could take it.

my friend in california just said "ope" to me

i fucking hate "ope" but i tolerated it as long as it was just an upper midwest thing

as a former midwesterner i stan "welp" but nope, i guess it's gonna be "ope"

"She will not ope her lap to saint-seducing gold" (Romeo to Benvolio)

an "ope" in plymouth is a short street that connects to a longer street or square of the same name (viz here adelaide street, which is much longer and goes crosswise a little further along): there's several of them tho (according to the local paper) none in the rest of devon

https://i.imgur.com/BJsP3zK.jpg

Didn’t realise this referred to the previous post, was trying to work out why this sign made you angry.

well that would certainly be irrational but actually i like it and was just making inconsequential conversation

No, it was interesting! I am just easily confused!

A windstorm knocked down the fence between our neighbors and us in the fall of 2019. They're finally getting a new one installed today, almost four years later. My kids were pissed that for the duration of deep covid, when everyone was stuck at home, *that's* when the fence was missing, when privacy was at a premium. And now, with three of our collective kids out of the house at college, and only one left in high school here, *that's* when they're finally getting around to putting the privacy fence back. We like our neighbors, it wasn't a big deal to us (adults), it wouldn't have been a big deal if they had never replaced it. Hence the "irrational" part, because why now, neighbors? You should have done it years ago, when it would have served more of a purpose.

i hate it when they show things in the little between-projects shots in The Repair Shop that aren't being worked on that week

websites that require you to click on Sign Up to get to the sign in page for existing accounts

the armenian alphabet

Regular-length albums pressed out onto three sides on vinyl so you have to hover over the damn thing and change the record every 13 minutes.

people who assume a question is being asked as an attempt to "bail" on them and not just a question so I can be planful.

example:

"what time did you want to do dinner tonight?"
"why - you got something else you're doing? If you want to reschedule, just ask to reschedule?"
"No - so I can add it to my calendar properly!"

"it looks like I am working on <xxx> assignment - I haven't done this before, so I wanted to ask a few questions about what is expected."
"if you don't feel comfortable taking this on..."
"NO, I DO, but I am just want to understand the assignment a bit more!"

Omg I'm with you, I hate that shit. That is one of my mom's favorite passive aggressive tools in her arsenal and it drives me bonkers:

"What time did you want us to be out there for dinner on Sunday?"
"Oh I take it that means you are too busy..."
"No, I'm just planning ahead so I know what time you'd like us there..."
"Just forget it then, we'll do it some other time."
*seething rage*

i've started saying "stop selling" to my mother as a joke, i.e. when I agree to something, you don't need to keep securing my approval

lol

omg yes my mum does this too
invents an absolutely nonexistent subtext & then we somehow end up having to re-plan the same plan just to reassure her that there are no ulterior motives

utter insanity

'drone shows' and people wanting to see them / having positive things to see about them is making me extremely IA

"what if tacky and boring, but 100 feet high with lights"

get those ugly pieces of trash out of the sky thank you very much

I thought you were talking about ambient drone for a moment and was getting very IA

Drones > fireworks

I was about to object to the judgy tone and remembered what thread this is

(Like, I can relate to not liking something, but I don't usually try to police what other people like. But this is IA so rock on, folks)

Drones > fireworks

I continue to be mystified by adults who are excited to see fireworks. I feel like if you've seen one or two big fireworks displays you don't really need to see any again.

On the other hand, several years ago I was in Disney World on the 4th of July and my family got to do a bunch of rides with nearly no wait times while almost everybody else was busy staring at multi-color explosions, so maybe this is all for the best.

i am a grown-ass woman who still loves fireworks, never grew out of it, cannot explain it except imo they rule?!

I was never much into fireworks even as a kid, but if I had been at that San Diego fireworks show where they accidentally shot off everything they had in one minute flat, I would have considered that a peak life experience.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgvXVYg3HXA

I was taken into a fireworks pit (cotton jammed into my 5yo ears) to watch Chinese pyrotechnicians who’d come to Minnesota in a post-Nixon ‘cultural exchange’ set off the Aquatennial fireworks, the most elaborate done to that date. If you want to instil a lifelong love of bangers, that’s a pretty good place to start, seeing the techs choreograph the display so well.

my current IA is an idiotic relative who uses the hashtag #blessup for literally everything

photo of weak looking tea in a paper cup: #blessup
photo of a manicure -#blessup
photo taken inside shuttle bus taking her to her job - #blessup

i dont know why but it drives me insane

sounds like you need to #lightenup #blessup

I put blessup on my fries and they still taste like shit

Brian Blessup was the best part of Black Adder, though

and I do enjoy the music of Blessup Union of Souls

achoo

blessup

My favorite singer is Blessup Dearie

'Fess up, you like blessup.

If they’re white, it’s a bit off because it could be taken as Writing With A Blaccent.

100% that also

"can I call you?" almost always invariably turns into something that didn't need to be a call and then lasts 10 minutes longer than it should because of that

A relative of mine texts me with 'Call me'.