I agree that nobody owes sex to anyone else but am I wrong in thinking that refusing to have sex with your partner for an extended period of time while also expecting them to stay in a monogamous relationship with you is abusive in its own way? Like if something happened to me where my libido was just zero for a year-plus I feel like I'd have to at least give my wife the option of opening things up.
― frogbs, Wednesday, 7 June 2023 14:09 (eleven months ago) link
I mean, or not, if you know you're the sort of person who couldn't handle that and the relationship wouldn't recover.
― Random Restaurateur (Jordan), Wednesday, 7 June 2023 14:13 (eleven months ago) link
yes emil.y hope that was clear but no harm at all spelling it out
― Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Wednesday, 7 June 2023 14:21 (eleven months ago) link
Depends on the relationship, depends on the people in the relationship, depends on the reason for lack of sex, depends on the communication and boundaries of the people within the relationship. I can see situations where it could be used as a form of abusive control, I can see plenty of situations where it's not even close.
Also, while 7 years is a very long time, a single year? If you were physically unable to have sex with your wife for one year you'd be fine with her having sex with other people? I mean, that mostly sounds like you'd be fine with having an open relationship in general, which is cool, but a lot of people aren't really up for open relationships.
that's all an xp to frogs
darragh - I figured you didn't mean it the other way but it definitely could have read like that!
― emil.y, Wednesday, 7 June 2023 14:29 (eleven months ago) link
Maybe just delete the whole revive, lol
― Random Restaurateur (Jordan), Wednesday, 7 June 2023 14:42 (eleven months ago) link
ok yeah I suppose it all depends a lot on the exact situation. idk if I'm a guy who's fine with an open relationship as much as I'm the guy who just says he'd be totally cool with it :)
― frogbs, Wednesday, 7 June 2023 15:32 (eleven months ago) link
If you were physically unable to have sex with your wife for one year you'd be fine with her having sex with other people? I mean, that mostly sounds like you'd be fine with having an open relationship in genera
uh, a year is a long time to go without, assuming you are cohabiting ... though, it definitely feels like in this thread there is a broad variety of what constitutes "a long time" ... so I think we are back to the "it depends on the people" metric
― sarahell, Wednesday, 7 June 2023 15:55 (eleven months ago) link
the 1 year itch idk seems pretty fuckin hasty to me anyway
― Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Wednesday, 7 June 2023 15:58 (eleven months ago) link
Sex drought, isn't it nice, ih wait no never mind
― a black white asian pine ghost who is fake (Telephone thing), Tuesday, September 21, 2010 5:39 PM (twelve years ago) bookmarkflaglink
lol - sex dwarf was the song it called to my mind
― sarahel, Tuesday, September 21, 2010
― the dreaded dependent claus (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 7 June 2023 16:21 (eleven months ago) link