Twitter C/D

i cannot believe i now know what this is about i blame max

This kid’s dad has DM’d LITERALLY every single professional sports account I’ve ever worked on 10+ times. Sometimes hundreds. Sports Illustrated, XFL, Barstool begging to be posted.

It’s the saddest case of vicariously living through a kid I’ve ever seen. Hope it works out. https://t.co/wjGOs0nFgP

— B.W. Carlin (@BaileyCarlin) June 9, 2023

Ugh

Livvy not the only one rizzing this kid up

honestly, he may very well end up getting a football scholarship, but that alone doesn't make him the new drip king

I assumed this was actually Rob Gronkowski Jr. and not some random kid lol

rando gronk

there are many Rob Gronkowski Jrs, so it doesn't really narrow it down much

It rules that twitter ads are now for things that are a felony charge to possess. https://t.co/fVbn3panYu

— chairman byz (@roguewerm) June 9, 2023

I got an ad for a steel retractable murder weapon, which apparently is also quite useful for hikers who are 4ft tall (it's way too short to function as a walking stick) so it's mainly for people with ideas of bludgeoning someone to death.

yeah i keep getting that one too, it looks pretty fucking lethal

Re: Baby Gronk - projecting a football prospect prior to puberty and, you know, knowing how big the kid is going to be, is ridiculous

Especially in the analytics/combine era, your being in the NFL is determined by meeting a very defined set of physical attributes and physical performance measurements. There are exceptions but they are definitely not the norm.

The fact that he rizzed up Livvy is going to be a key factor at draft time.

no, he was rizzed up BY Livvy, big difference

My people are telling me the rizzing was mutual.

bay…. bee GRONK da da da-da da da, baby GRONK da da da-da da da baby GRONK da da da-da da da bay-bee groooooonk

he drip kingin’ all over this

wow! i want this on a shirt!

for the love of god, somebody please put this on a shirt! pic.twitter.com/HeCT6ANr5F

— Ernest Penfold (@penfoldsfiv) June 10, 2023

Posting this here just because it's that rare bit of gold the algorithm turns up.

There are great interviews, then there's this beauty by Virginia pitcher, Stephen Schoch. pic.twitter.com/6vfgmfcHme

— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) June 11, 2023

(dude is going to make a killing in NIL. he already has his own brand, of course.)

guys name is one letter different from my uncles

His dogs love him

Feel this also belongs in the thread "Dudes"

Softball ringer vibes

Does anything make you nervous?

Caves.

no hesitation

Nobody show this guy The Descent

Twitter is down for me half the time. A real time saver!

lol don't get too comfortable and keep your cash someplace safe

Hello Twitter.
People keep asking me: Why Twitter? 
So, I’ll tell you. 👇

— Linda Yaccarino (@lindayacc) June 12, 2023

The cute thing is that Linda thinks that if she believes hard enough and repeats the magic words often enough it will cause her to levitate.

Linda should've just re-posted the Baby Gronk saga in ans to her question.

still clicking on Tweets from time to time and the ad I always get is one with a close up of dentures being snapped in and out, it's really gross and a good reminder that I shouldn't go there anymore

Catering to the new demographics

What if you create a million AIs and charge them all $8.99 for blue checks?

I keep getting the one about the bra designed by the 69-year-old woman. (It looks like it wouldn't work for anyone over a C cup.)

Laughed a lot at this

I really want to buy this shirt! Does anybody know where I can buy it? pic.twitter.com/mIFU6ljqIx

— 65 yr old musk reply guy with acute lead poisoning (@boring_as_heck) June 11, 2023

Laughed a lot at this

🐦[I really want to buy this shirt! Does anybody know where I can buy it? pic.twitter.com/mIFU6ljqIx🕸
— 65 yr old musk reply guy with acute lead poisoning (@boring_as_heck) June 11, 2023🕸]🐦

Hope the whale eats him this time

That Yaccarino thread is hilarious, this is the best

Have you ever been talking with someone particularly insightful and thought, you should have the freedom to speak your mind. We all should.

Enter Twitter 2.0.

— Linda Yaccarino (@lindayacc) June 12, 2023

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjEtnFfQtQ8

infinite revisions of twitter 2.0

_Laughed a lot at this

🐦[I really want to buy this shirt! Does anybody know where I can buy it? pic.twitter.com/mIFU6ljqIx🕸
— 65 yr old musk reply guy with acute lead poisoning (@boring_as_heck) June 11, 2023🕸]🐦_

Seeing just tons of ads now, including from accounts I am pretty sure I have blocked

Twitter is like a fun game now, having to decide whether blocking "The Ashes" as a subject will be more effective than blocking "England's Barmy Army" the account. they are unlikely to post anything but cricket but on the other hand many people might post about the ashes.

sometimes the subjects are impossibly broad - all the recent tina turner posts were "Music", all the Billie Eilish posts are "Alternative Pop" and you feel you'd miss out on interesting posts if you blocked those. ditto all those marvel universe posts you're not interested in under "Movies" are they unblockable? seem to be.

need a sugar daddy to put latest ashes scores on a t-shirt because my metamask acct hacked and need essay help

Really @elonmusk? A billion views?

1 in 7 people on earth saw this tweet?

Yeah, ok very real metrics on here dude… pic.twitter.com/hphrGJnTmg

— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) June 16, 2023

maybe the views numbers are sometimes in hexadecimal

tbf i saw that tweet more than once

like, i know this is twitter and all but is that supposed to be some sort of gotcha question