Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Watched #2 again over the weekend and, while the Short Round/Indy relationship is fun and endearing and the first sacrifice scene is all-time the rest of the flick, I felt like I was watching some other adventure film and not Indian Jones. Plus most of the thing takes place *in a cave*. And then, a lifetime later, we're out on some cliffs.

*Indiana Jones

Finally saw this today & don’t know why I bothered.

Phoebe v enjoyable, Ford fine, some of the early Nazi quips were good. the end.

The Antikythera device? rmde Look. i agree that much like the ~idea~ of crystal skulls it has an interesting actual history
but the heavy lifting required to turn this into a plot device is really stupid.
keep it in the woo-woo supernatural/occult realm, do NOT start explaining at length how this shit works for all of our sakes

unlike the ark or the grail there is never a concise handwavey “ok got it” explanation of what it is or does or what the stakes are

so we’re nowhere as soon as it’s revealed.

and then it levels up into a timetravel device? wait ok but ~not really~ because it jpoints to possible time fissures … uuughhhh YOU GUYS JFC
li’m already bored
whaaaaat are we doing

OH but we’ll make it pay off because we are ~fully~ going back to Chekhovs siege of syracuse by flying a fucking plane through a time tunnel

we’re shooting roman centurions
indy wants to … stay … here with archimedes
yep nbd we’re hanging out in 212 BC Sicily chatting to archimedes in ancient greek

what the actual fuck are we doing here please

am I watching motherfucking Bill and Ted
PLEASE STOP THIS AT ONCE

spielberg’s absence as a director was noticeable in that this shit was dull as hell and then levelled up into pure stupid absolute liquid shit

oh and we’ll end with indy in a shitty ny apartment with nothing except some perfunctory makeup sex w his ex wife & maybe cry abt their dead son afterwards

great job everyone clap clap

a truly lifeless movie
zero fun, no stars

what about wet Banderas

loved!

old indy: ah, old wet banderas, my old friend!
...
old indy: stop having fun! my old friend, wet banderas, is dead!

He didn't seem that broken up about his colleagues being murdered though...

banderas was great, i was relieved when he showed up, like oh he’ll be a good companion but then no

indiana jones and the dull of density morelike amirite

Yeah I totally agree about the Antikythera stuff

Was Indy meant to be an explicit villain in this? He pries the dial from a mentally disturbed friend promising to destroy it but catalogs it in the stacks instead and forgets about it and also about checking up on his supposed goddaughter. I guess the series as a whole has an implicit undercurrent of Indy being a graverobbing cad but there's a distinct lack of heroic tone in this movie.

It is very funny to me how they de-aged Harrison Ford’s face but not his voice or his body movements

I wanted to see this but Veg's comments have stopped me

(Literally - I thought "uh oh" and I've been put off ever since)

if i can give back in some small way

It looks absolutely sensational - the colours and the editing and the camerawork are all just ridiculously satisfying. The henchmen are extremely A+ henchmen. One laconic, drawling hothead, bursting out of his too-tight shirt, and one mountain of a man who I think never speaks, just hurls scenery around. Phoebe Waller-Bridge does her thing, and it’s great. A lot of the pieces are there. But none of it really adds up, and Ford is just a nullity. Would have been better as a Tin Tin movie imo

Oh and the script is super hacky. Stuff you’d cringe at even in an Uncharted cut scene. At one point Indy grabs the contested artifact and yells “to the victor go the spoils!”

That said the Tangier bit was very good I thought

One laconic, drawling hothead, bursting out of his too-tight shirt

That's Boyd Holbrook, who's great as Lackey #1 in Logan too.

Also very good as DEA Agent Steve Murphy in first couple of seasons of Narcos