List conspiracy theories here.

Mr Beast is the antichrist.

Antichrist has fewer subscribers

i'm spreading my own conspiracy theory. it goes like this. joe biden had hunter arrested - instead of the phony plea deal that was just a red herring or a macguffin or something - and he will have him convicted and then anyone who has ever done drugs will not be able to buy a gun in the future. it will be called: The Hunter Law.

i'm still working on some of the details...

the fact that a (sinister but unpspecified) "THEY" can "CONTROL THE WEATHER" goes back at least to kurt vonnegut's brother bernard discovering silver iodide is effective in cloud-seeding -- plus there's a famous funny-cringey passage in trotsky's LITERATURE AND REVOLUTION where he declares that mankind will one day (after the revolution, via machines) ) master all of nature including the waves and the clouds ect ect

anyway there was a little old lady -- querulous yet also vociferous -- explaining loudly to the whole tolerant post office, as plymouth prepares for STORM AGNES to make landing, that the russians can stop and start tempests at will, which is why the tanks and rockets in the mayday parade are never seen to get wet

Newsweek agrees with her! Except, in 2017, it didn't work (and good luck with Ms Agnes Storm, iodide or otherwise)...

https://www.newsweek.com/clear-sky-bad-weather-ends-moscow-air-show-605889

Aye, right enough, ye meet some right zoomers when ye're waitin' tae cash yer giro.

I'm just going to assume the study leading to the current headline "Sitting all day increases dementia risk — even if you exercise" is total bullshit being propagated for the benefit of ... shoemakers?

ALL DOCTORS AGREE: STOP EATING THIS VEGETABLE IMMEDIATELY

I haven't thought of Above Top Secret in years, but I heard that the site just collapsed - everyone locked out of their accounts, the owners have ghosted, threads falling apart from spam attacks, one or two volunteers haphazardly trying to keep it all together. Fascinating to see any 20+ year community immediately pivot to cannibalism once the mods disappear.

This is an admittedly minor conspiracy, but I'm pretty sure that the nation's convenience store workers have agreed to stock all the sodas facing backward so you can't easily tell what they are.

Inconvenience stores

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Internet_theory

who are all of you?

This seems inevitable, only a couple of years living internet left I think

The problem I see with Dead Internet Theory is that the internet isn't self-sustaining. Humans work to tend and pay for it in return for a perceived benefit. As the percentage of fully-automated interaction rises there will be a point of diminishing returns to the real humans who pay for its continuation.

Either an equilibrium will be achieved or the internet will swiftly die. A similar mechanism is present in biology, where parasites that kill their hosts before they can find new ones will quickly perish as a species. A Dead Internet would look like an empty abandoned mall, instead of a mall full of zombie shoppers looking for living brains that never arrive.

I mean a dead internet will still be useful for shopping/banking/streaming, it will just not be useful for social interactions or searching for information

always amazed at how much more difficult it is to search for things anymore

my main task on the two hiking websites I help moderate is killing seo spam.

speaking of conspiracies...I was reminded by my brother that I was the victim of one in 5th grade. I was accused of being part of a conspiracy to cheat in the elementary school spelling bee.

Never mind the fact that I got 32/35 right on the qualifying test to get into the final round. My mother was in the audience and everybody insisted she was mouthing the letters of every word to me. Maybe she was, idk. But I wasn't looking at her. Nor could I read lips (I still am not great at it). and also, the words weren't very hard. even by elementary school standards.

but like everybody kept coming up to me for 3 months saying EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CHEATED any time they saw me or the bee came up, and saying my mom fed me the answers, and that we had pre-planned this system of cheating. eventually I told someone "well I'm sorry these words are hard to YOU, but I actually know things" and subsequently got punched in the stomach.

Woah, that’s fucked up

That's like Quiz Show Part II

always amazed at how much more difficult it is to search for things anymore

― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Monday, April 1, 2024 2:48 PM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

yeah it's wild I noticed last month that the top result for a lot of the stuff I was searching for was AI generated and now I've noticed it's the top 3

yeah it fucking sucks now!
i may ask well just yell out to my mum from the other room & get as many wrong sound-alike answers