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Without making any lazy assumptions - I sort of know your world, YMP. I have to do an industrial clean in the bathroom at least twice a day and assist a 22 yr old to get dressed every day. Still, I despise that word, but do get what you are saying and peace to you.

I discovered at an EHCP meeting a couple of years back that references in his college dairy to "private time" meant he has a room where he can privately masturbate, which doesn't involve him exposing himself to anybody, he basically humps a cushion with his clothes on. It's hard to explain to some people how stuff like this is part of the human condition and extremely important for an autistic young adult to self-regulate and have a stable existence. But yeah, I just felt like posting it here!

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Tuesday, 14 November 2023 00:43 (five months ago) link

Calzino, thanks for sharing that (as embarrassing and unpleasant as it must be to do so). I have no idea how we will navigate that, but I fully expect it to be just about as undignified and as awkward.

The thing I struggle to tell people is that for us, there's no finish line. There's no "done." I will almost certainly die before my son is a grownup. It's just one of the things I have to accept and live with. Peace to you and yours.

don't let days go by, Listerine (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 14 November 2023 01:34 (five months ago) link

sorry my post may require some context-

i was going to put that on a thread where sidebar discussion had ventured off into how stupid and meaningless ted talks have become. in addition, i'm also of the opinion that they've become a soapbox for completely terrible people promoting their predatory companies. hence, my pitch as posted above (and also why i backed off and put it here). the only malice intended was towards ted talks.

puffin, i already considered you a rad person but that respect has just about quintupled after learning this about you. thank you.

"another slice of death, please." (Austin), Tuesday, 14 November 2023 23:46 (five months ago) link

TED talks are shitstains on the garment of academia

assert (matttkkkk), Wednesday, 15 November 2023 00:15 (five months ago) link

Joaquin after midnight

Joaquin in memphis

don't let days go by, Listerine (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 15 November 2023 01:47 (five months ago) link

Hey babe take a Joaquin the wild side

butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table), Wednesday, 15 November 2023 02:33 (five months ago) link

there's really good ted talks, but they usually involve the speaker playing an instrument or an already established performer goofing around. a good example of a good one of these is mark applebaum's. idk anything else about him, but i obviously want to play his DID instrument. but i can't, so i try to play guitar - and that's what ?i think? ted talks were supposed to be in the first place: motivational speakers. anyway, they're mostly overwhelmingly terrible.

maybe read this if you would like further clarification of my earlier post. i am not trying to push buttons. i promise: part of my liberal use of the word comes from desensitization to it in childhood. one relative's nickname for me was "the retard" so even though i knew what it meant, it became meaningless pretty early on. i'm not looking for pity or sympathy, just wanted to give a little extra info. the joke i was making in that post is that only complete assholes use the word for any other reason than its proper definition. and to bring this back around to the crux: how many times have you been listening to a ted talk and thought, "this guy's an asshole"?

again: full apologies.

"another slice of death, please." (Austin), Wednesday, 15 November 2023 02:54 (five months ago) link

Stevie Nicks married Vanessa Carlton (to her husband)

(I mean she officiated the wedding)

don't let days go by, Listerine (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 15 November 2023 15:24 (five months ago) link

YMP/Calzino/Aimless - My cousin (and one of my fave ever people) was retarded and for a very long time I struggled with what to refer to him as because I wasn't sure but I think mentally retarded really was the used and most appropriate term. He couldn't speak, read or write and needed help with almost everything. Towards the end he could have done with some "private time" because that was becoming an issue. These are very real things that have to be considered at a certain age. I can't imagine how difficult it is for all of you. Lots of love.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 15 November 2023 15:56 (five months ago) link

Joaquin originally appeared as Leaf, a name apparently inspired by raking.

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Wednesday, 15 November 2023 16:00 (five months ago) link

[schadenfreude]welp, there goes another one i hated all along.[/schadenfreude]

"another slice of death, please." (Austin), Friday, 17 November 2023 02:25 (five months ago) link

but seriously and honestly, seems like the fewer details i know on this one, the better.

"another slice of death, please." (Austin), Friday, 17 November 2023 02:27 (five months ago) link

Why aren't you also condemning Viet Cong atrocities when you talk about the Phoenix Program?

papal hotwife (milo z), Wednesday, 22 November 2023 21:10 (five months ago) link

would it really hurt to give steely dan a week off every now and then?

Left, Wednesday, 22 November 2023 23:08 (five months ago) link

Agree, this week is the time for the Hall & Oates thread to shine

Halfway there but for you, Thursday, 23 November 2023 00:44 (five months ago) link

kinda want a pretzel lobster tbh, sounds kinda good

brimstead, Thursday, 23 November 2023 02:00 (five months ago) link

like a pretzel lobster roll? or something? you're right that does sound good

Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 23 November 2023 03:00 (five months ago) link

that's a royal scam if you ask me

stuffing your suit pockets with cold, stale chicken tende (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 23 November 2023 03:10 (five months ago) link

who is the female morrissey?

is it natalie merchant?

[tucker]I'M JUST ASKING QUESTIONS[/tucker]

"another slice of death, please." (Austin), Sunday, 26 November 2023 07:08 (five months ago) link

One does not simply walk into Baltimordor.

Iris Demented (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 26 November 2023 14:01 (five months ago) link

even if he chose good rather than evil i'm not sure i'd want to get to know her.

Kate (rushomancy), Sunday, 26 November 2023 16:21 (five months ago) link

thread idea: make a song lyric more offensive

"another slice of death, please." (Austin), Monday, 27 November 2023 06:24 (five months ago) link

my favourite is whichever one is responsible for the oven chips

the world is your octopus (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 17:11 (five months ago) link

my favourite is whichever one is responsible for the vagina chips

Kate (rushomancy), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 17:59 (five months ago) link

i promise you i'm not a paid shill for HAL 9000

the motherfucker deadnamed me yesterday, we're not on good terms

Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 30 November 2023 03:33 (five months ago) link

aww that guy is total sweetheart (Mark not Hal)

sarahell, Thursday, 30 November 2023 05:34 (five months ago) link

we've investigated ourselves and found we do nothing wrong

omar little, Friday, 1 December 2023 17:16 (five months ago) link

Pick it, pack it, fire it up
Come along

a very very unfair (Neanderthal), Friday, 1 December 2023 18:29 (five months ago) link

one thought i've had recently is that in some ways using social media (which i do) is like using a megaphone. it's really tough to be nuanced on a megaphone! and i think if you just hand a megaphone to someone, you are likely to get very silly results. it is incredibly annoying when goofy kids find a megaphone. it's also incredibly annoying when talkative adults use a megaphone. megaphones are useful for distributing information in chaotic situations. some people were born to hold a megaphone and to point it at people while talking. other people should be banned from using it altogether. one version of free speech is a bunch of people screaming at each other with megaphones while never listening to anyone else. another is for people to speak to each other at moderate volumes. it's possible to use a megaphone for good but in general we've learned not to use them.

sorry to get meta here, but to make this an experimental ilx post i'll break the 4th wall - i'm just totally goofing off here. i know it's not great but i like to write and sometimes other people like it. but also it's confusing to some people who might expect me (not "me", but anyone in this situation) to be speaking literally or formally or persuasively or, maybe to even have a point. having a point is something that is considered essential by so many people! some people, posters on ilx, people irl, seem to always have a point, and hold their tongue unless there's a reason for it. i admire and really adore these people, you are like gods to me! there are some things beyond me that i could eventually reach by practicing or trying to understand it, but in the case of having a point i feel like an ant trying to emulate a tank. all these words should supposedly add up to something, but i've always found the most joy in piecing it all together and rearranging things.

posting this on the second thoughts thread because it's an example of a second thought which isn't about tearing someone down, but is instead about some total bullshit

i'm really excited to learning more", *sunglasses fly onto dog.gif* (z_tbd), Tuesday, 5 December 2023 19:56 (five months ago) link

rly appreciate that post z_ . fwiw i always have felt that the relative user consistency at ilx makes it a sorta special online environment (in addition to posters mostly being v high-knowledge/advanced insight).

i’ve not met a single poster irl i think, and yet i am able to maintain a pretty consistent sense of individual poster’s preferred posting ‘modes’ (as to analytic/persuasive/feels/humor). as such i hear some megaphones and can go “oh that’s just x doing their thing.”

digital chirping and whirring (Hunt3r), Wednesday, 6 December 2023 15:19 (five months ago) link

i liked that post a lot z. as someone whose default is to hold my tongue, i'm fascinated by habitual sharers, and i vm appreciate posters like you who keep the lights on in this place. i've never thought of it as those who have to have a point vs those who don't, but that's an interesting way to put it.

i've had a chance to reflect on my stage fright/fear-of-being-observed lately b/c i've been gradually DJing in front of more and more people, and i think part of my reticence is rooted in a fear of a lack of control over how i'm being perceived, and maybe more specifically fear of the possibility that everyone else will see something obvious that i'm missing about myself, thereby exposing myself as a fraud/idiot. but maybe that's just rationalization for the basic fact that some of us get off on performing for others and some of us are drained by it

karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Wednesday, 6 December 2023 16:46 (five months ago) link

okay nvm, i support the death penaltu

she fell asleep with her hand around my throat (Austin), Wednesday, 6 December 2023 19:43 (five months ago) link

penalty even

she fell asleep with her hand around my throat (Austin), Wednesday, 6 December 2023 19:43 (five months ago) link

what if the Watergate Apartments had instead been called the Waterbury Apartments? Then we'd have the Partybury Scandal, Sharpiebury, Deflatebury, etc.

Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 6 December 2023 21:48 (five months ago) link

i got tú is second person familiar right

digital chirping and whirring (Hunt3r), Wednesday, 6 December 2023 22:00 (five months ago) link

El burro eres tú

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Wednesday, 6 December 2023 22:03 (five months ago) link

Mama tambien

; Powell (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 6 December 2023 22:06 (five months ago) link

i support the death penaltu

― she fell asleep with her hand around my throat (Austin

in Romanian!

stuffing your suit pockets with cold, stale chicken tende (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 6 December 2023 22:07 (five months ago) link

I love you all.

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Wednesday, 6 December 2023 22:09 (five months ago) link

Ciao, penaltu

The Ned Wedding (flamboyant goon tie included), Wednesday, 6 December 2023 22:15 (five months ago) link

lotta next levellin’, this place eats.

no soy burro, but i’m schoolboy spanish only

digital chirping and whirring (Hunt3r), Wednesday, 6 December 2023 22:57 (five months ago) link

Yo no soy marinara

; Powell (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 7 December 2023 00:28 (four months ago) link

soy calamar

STUPID CRAP FACE (Neanderthal), Thursday, 7 December 2023 00:31 (four months ago) link

i do not think we need any more discourse where a fascist gnome says something and someone is like “i agree with what he’s saying but not for the reasons he’s saying it”

ivy., Thursday, 7 December 2023 15:09 (four months ago) link

at least nobody on this website has ever called me "kind stranger"

budo jeru, Thursday, 7 December 2023 15:31 (four months ago) link

a fascist gnome

Terrible Bowie deep cut

The Ned Wedding (flamboyant goon tie included), Thursday, 7 December 2023 15:36 (four months ago) link

terrible bowie era tbf

close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Thursday, 7 December 2023 15:47 (four months ago) link

i do not think we need any more discourse where a fascist gnome says something and someone is like “i agree with what he’s saying but not for the reasons he’s saying it”


if this is directed at me, meh— it ended up in an interesting conversation.

butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table), Thursday, 7 December 2023 16:54 (four months ago) link


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